Ok so the other day I was at my 6 year old's school play rehersal,and one of the other moms asked me where I bought his costume.{He's playing a carrot in the four food groups} When I told her that I made it she gets this discusted look on her face and Says" well i supose you would have time as you dont' work."What the hell is that suposed to mean?Lets break this down here, We are maids ,Drs,cabbies, cooks, teachers, accountants{I do the budget as I am the one who is at the bank to pay the bills be fore it closes} Dog walkers, Handy men, and to many other little things to mention. We are generaly the first up and the last to go to bed. But NO we don't work at all.I have often wanted to scream I have a real job infact I have about 4full time ones. How about you?
2006-10-02 02:14:14 · 24 answers · asked by blue_eyed_brat78 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I am not saying that those women who work do not do the same as stay at home moms,what ticks me off is those people who think that we are sitting on our buts all day eating candy and watching soaps! I very much respect working mom's .
2006-10-02 03:35:22 · update #1
I don't disrespect stay at home moms and if you have 4 kids...whoa more power to ya. I'm lucky to keep up with my one! But if another woman is working 40-hours a week And doing all the same things you listed you do above (maid, dr, cabby, cook, etc), then it's not hard to feel resentful that you get to spend all that extra time with your kids while she Has to work. Maybe you misread her look because it is true you have 40-50 hours more a week than she does to do these things. Maybe she thought your look when you said you made it was degrading at her because she bought hers. 'Oh no, I made this' can sound pretty bad if she bought hers, like she took the easy way out. What annoys me is the disgust I get from SAHMs because I work, which I have to do if I want my daughter to eat & have a roof, which then makes me return the favor to them.
2006-10-02 12:20:55 · answer #1 · answered by nativeAZ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree completely. I am a sahm and the only one I have encountered that doesn't believe I work is my husband. I have always had a job had a good career and he wanted me to stay home when we had kids. I personally hate it and think I am a better mom if I work outside of the home but I dotn' discredit what I do do at home. Washing dishes. running errands, doing laundry, getting a 3 yr old to take a nap, dropping her sister off at pre-k and picking her up, cleaning, vaccuuming, and not to mention potty training. Oh and lets not forget the make sure dinner is ready when he gets home and make sure it is whatever it is he might have wanted to eat w/o him telling me what that might be lol. I want to scream everytime my hubby says to me, so what did you do today? I am like if you don't shut up and leave me alone I am really going to hurt you. This is one of the reasons I have been job hunting and we are divorcing. I am so tired of having to "account" to him what exactly I did all day and have him say I make all the money why does this or this cost this. I wish you the best of luck. You dont' have to even dignify that kind of response with an answer. If you do want to answer say soemthing like " It must be nice to be away from the troubles of the day at a job while someone else handles your child. I only wish I had just one job to do and then just take care of homework and bath and bed maybe dinner."
2006-10-02 02:31:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anjanette A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Come on...don't take it so seriously.As I read,I think that woman was just jealous that you've made so beautiful costume for your child.Anyway,you,as an adult,don't have to take stupid people seriously.I didn't have the chance to stay at home when my first three kids were ages 7,4 and 2.Then I just left them alone at home,no matter it was illegal but I jsut didn't have the opportunity to hire a baby-sitter or take someone else to look after the kids.I had to work and my husband had to work,because in other way,they wouldn't have had what to eat.After that I found a stay-home job(on the computer) and I work with it already 10 years.Now I'm 33 and I think my children's raising is more important than "Do I have a REAL job or not?".I don't need a 'real' job.And I don't think there is a 'real' and 'unreal' job.Any job which brings money home is 'real'.And if you don't work,that's because you don't have to and you have a child to look after,not because you are lazy or something.So,I repeat - don't listen to stupid jealosy people!They are not important.You and your child are important.
2006-10-02 03:15:53 · answer #3 · answered by julie 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should have politely pointed all that out to her. I was a "stay at home" mom for about 15 years, and I worked harder then than I ever have with a for-pay job. While I was a stay at home mom, I volunteered extensively at the school, scouts and church. There were many others like me, and we banded together. The one thing I hated to hear was when I had to call some elementary school parent asking them to donate something for a school party and they would say 'I don't have time...I have a job." Having a "job" doesn't always mean earning money. Being a stay at home mom is much more rewarding. Raising the next generation is much more important than earning money, and I think she was showing jealousy. Don't let people get away with that....be creative....you can politely defend yourself, and put them in their place.
2006-10-02 02:28:21 · answer #4 · answered by kj 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I went through the exact same thing while I was staying home with my 3 kids. At the end of 8 years I was definitely loosing it. I know how frustrating it can be, but know there are people in the world who understand the sacrifices you make and how hard you work. In my experience it's generally the women who gave birth then went "back to work" within a couple of months who say awful things like that woman said to you. Chances are, her and women like her, could never have handled being a stay-at-home Mom because it's so much work. Can you imagine what they'd have to pay stay-at-home parents if they ever decided to? We'd be millionaires in under 5 years. Hang in there. I can't say it gets easier, but try to remember you are doing the world's most important job and there are places for you to turn for support and adult conversation.Good luck.
2006-10-02 02:23:53 · answer #5 · answered by kealey 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey - you're not going to get any argument out of me! I was a SAH mom for over 4 years - I KNOW how hard it is...and I fully appreciate your ire.
That woman was just being a catty little ***** - and perhaps a bit jealous of the fact that you DO have the flexibility to do things like MAKE your kid's costume as opposed to having to rush out and buy one last-minute....time management is a terrible thing to waste!
I know you want to scream, but maybe the next time a person makes a snotty remark like that, it might behoove you to step up and tell that person that you DO work - very hard, you might add - every single day; just because you don't receive a "paycheck" doesn't mean you are not employed. After all, it's not like you're sitting at home sucking on bon-bons and crap! YOU GO GIRL!!
2006-10-02 02:19:54 · answer #6 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes i feel the same way.A friend of mine that has no kids at the age of 30 & only works 3 days a week & keeps a disgusting house pretty much looks down on me b/c i don't work i stay at home with my 15mth old & 5yr old.My husband works nights from 4pm-1am & sleeps during the day,so i have a full time never ending job raising the kids & keeping up with the house.People who do not do this do not understand how hard it really is being a stay at home mother.And yes sometimes i feel like screaming at them.
2006-10-02 05:18:58 · answer #7 · answered by hotmama 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I totally understand. It's the hardest job in the world and still the most unrecognized job too. I actually get more flack from other women than I do men. I think that other women are catty about it because there's some guilt because they can't stay home with their kids. I'm sorry they can't stay home for whatever reason, but don't belittle me to make yourself feel better.
2006-10-02 02:28:50 · answer #8 · answered by ? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Pay no mind to the snooty little B*&%. I don't have "time" persay to make a halloween costume for my oldest who wants to be a Bratz doll for halloween as I am a stay at home mom and my life is hectic and full. But I make time for my daughter. As a matter of fact I've made most of her costumes even when I had jobs that gave me paychecks. She just can't sew... pay her no attention.
2006-10-02 02:22:58 · answer #9 · answered by momofthreemiracles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ohhhh, I am so with you on this! I'm a full-time mom, plus I have a part-time job in the evenings. My son is suspected of having ADHD, and I have to stay right on top of him to make sure he gets stuff done. My boyfriend (I live with him) has two kids that are here half the time, and I find myself picking up after everyone! Not to mention the weiner dog puppy that we got about a month ago. He's still not potty trained, and no one will take him out on their own unless I say something about it. I'm ready to go on strike....you with me?
2006-10-02 02:22:13 · answer #10 · answered by Crystal L ™ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋