Its been almost 3 years and we have been living together for 2. I guess a I am a hoplessly romantic to expect to feel passion in the relatioship every once in a while...
We are both medical students preparing for our boards and we do have some time to spare for our selves. The only problem is that he has been so ditant when it comes to being intimate with me. He seems as if I am just a really great friend and he barely ever wants to be with me in a passionate way. I get very angry at him for not wanting me. 3 weeks go by before we are intimate and thats only because I have given him so much hell already.
Is this normal in men at the age of 27? Am I really too much to keep up with like he tells me? I never ask for it more than once a week anyway... and I want him to kiss me and hold me, its not just about sex, its more or less about nurturing the relationship. Am I out of line? Is anything wrong?
2006-10-02 01:46:48 · 13 answers · asked by SuNY 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
First and foremost: giving him hell for it is no way to solve the problem. I am sorry to have to tell you that. In all likelihood it will only have him lose all interest. Sex should not be a duty, it should be fun for both parties and desired by both parties as well.
The first thing you need to do is go back in your mind and recollect what you did to entice him, and then try to see what you changed. The next thing is communication. Don't look at what he is doing right now. Because it appears that the both of you went into this relationship without talking about expectations, and those expectations should include the bedroom. So when you try to talk to him about it, try to find out how he feels about you and having sex with you. Then try to find out what he thinks you could change to bring the old chemistry back. Do all this in a calm manner, and if you do not understand what he is trying to tell you, repeat it back as a question to him. Let him tell you how your behavior makes him feel and tell him how you feel about things without raising any accusations. Then go from there. It could be that he is just not into sex at all. Some men are like that...it could be that he is overwhelmed with medical school and preparation for the board...but speculation will not help. If you are not sure that you can talk to him without arguing, suggest that you go out and have dinner somewhere where you can try to find a private booth or seperate table and then talk to him(doing that will cause the both of you to keep your voices in check!)...Good Luck
2006-10-02 02:00:59 · answer #1 · answered by MARIANNE G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well like you said your boards are coming up, I mean you have your whole lives together, right now is a very stressful time for the both of you, so his mind is probably on that board exam. So well just wait until everything cools down and you are both medical doctors. That way he won't have any more stress and he'd have reached his goal. And well if he doesn't change then, that's when I would say you have every right to keep nagging him about it. Remember being intimate is excellent in a serious and long term relationship, but it only works the best when both partners are willing to be intimate. So well give him time.
2006-10-02 01:51:59 · answer #2 · answered by Khalil S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are definitely not out of line and neither are you wrong. I think that you should have a serious talking with him. Tell him how you feel about him neglecting you and tell him how he can make it right. Also be sure to ask him if everything is alright because it sounds like he got issues to deal with. Maybe he is just a bit stressed out. Be his shoulder to cry on. When he least expects it give him a hug and tell him how much he means to you. It will catch him off guard but at he will know that there is someone in this cruel world that stands beside him no matter what. It is normal for guys to feel insecure to talk to their girls. My bf usually does that, my remedy? Send him cute sms's during the day and when he gets home give him a massage or just let him lay in my lap and fall asleep. My motto is, "If he is not a romantic and I am then I will make up for him not being one." After all, you can't change a man. So speak to your man and be honest with each other and look at possible solutions together on how to fix things. Best of luck amigo and if you should need any more advice be sure to check out my 360 or log onto annelize-sexylee600.blogspot.com.
2006-10-02 01:56:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it is normal to want to feel and be intimate with the person you are living with, but it is also normal to put that on hold when you are under a lot of stress. Maybe he is just stressed to the max.
Give him some time, let him study, take his tests and then see if things improve. Pushing him and stressing him more will not help your relationship at all, it will only make things worse. Remember, people handle stress in different ways and you may handle stress a lot better than he does. Just try to give him some understanding, love and support during this time.
2006-10-02 01:55:08 · answer #4 · answered by Joy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jeez all you are asking for is sex once a week and he is denying you of that. there is no doubt a bigger problem as his sex drive should be much much higher than that. He should want it at least 3+ times a week. You need to have a sit down and talk things out if you both are to overcome your obstacles
2006-10-02 01:52:14 · answer #5 · answered by Mike 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a man like this before and he never said he love me..never....
He never feel anything for me...no passion, no desire..nothing..I tought even that I gross him out..
It is a terrible thing...
so...maybe he is gay...I end it up thinking that guy I was with it was gay...
I was dissapointed and sad...and I cried many year for him...but now i'm ok..
so becareful
he might be guy...and he knows it or he is afraid to come out of the close it..
2006-10-02 01:53:40 · answer #6 · answered by Sal 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if this is a problem now, get rid of him. Some people aren't so touchy feely and they aren't going to change. i married a woman like this ten years ago, and as much as I llove her, it's a huge problem with us. She can pet the cat but she won't touch me unless I ask her to. Run. Don't make the same mistake I did.
2006-10-02 02:00:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best way to make a relationship grow is through open communication. Why don't you talk to him and open up? There is definitely a problem since you are desperate enough to ask here...
2006-10-02 01:52:21 · answer #8 · answered by sweetangel_theresa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be sexy & talk to him that come to the park morning 8:00 but be sexy when he will come to the park & take him to a place no body is there & tell him do you love me & kiss him on his lips for 5 seconds before he says no, if his wearing t-shirt take your hand'sunder his shirt & then he will say he love's you too trust me I did that one day & now we are married but be sexy, sex is good.
2006-10-02 02:00:56 · answer #9 · answered by sisa 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wanting to be kissed, caressed, etc. by your partner is completely normal... Sex is an important part of a relationship, so you should talk to him and investigate what's going on..
2006-10-02 01:50:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋