my partner keeps saying it wont work?

Question

every time we have a petty argument he says its not working and throws his engagement ring at me and threatens to walk out.we argue for a while then go to bed ha ha you know what happens next. i hate it when this happens and him saying it wont work is making me doubt our future together. HELP ME

Answer 1

Get out now if a little argument causes this then when the big stuff comes he will be gone. He is not ready for this type of relationship.

Answer 2

I was actually in a similar situation a year ago. We argued over little things like housework, bills, etc but otherwise we had a great relationship. We had been engaged for 2 years and were planning our wedding. Well, he waited until the entire wedding was planned and booked. Friends and family had already bought things off our registry and booked their flights and hotel rooms. Then one day, out of the blue, he tells me that it's just not working out. He's not ready to get married. And calls off the whole thing. It was painful and humiliating. The only thing worse would have been to be left at the altar.
Point being, if your fiance is saying it's not going to work- even if he doesn't break things off completely right now- he's trying to tell you something. He's obviously not ready for the commitment and he's scared and doesn't know how to tell you so it only comes out when you two are fighting. My advice is to have a serious talk with him (not during a fight) and get everything out in the open. At least you will find out the truth- good or bad. The worse thing you could do is to pretend like everything's fine. If he's not man enough to tell you, it will only be worse (and more complicated) once you are married. Don't make the same mistake I did and get burned in the end. Good luck!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

The next time he does that, take the engagement ring and tell him to get out. If he is doing that now, it won't get any better when you get married. Only thing that will change is he will say let's get divorced.
You need to really think about this before you get married. Do you really want to live the rest of your life like this. I'm sorry but he seems like a spoiled brat. Unless he does a 180 (which is doubtful)
this will continue. Get out now before you have to go through the process of a divorce which is both costly and painful. Find you a man that will treat you with the respect that you deserve and not lash out every time there is a problem.

Answer 4

Is he the type of person that you could sit down and tell him how you feel and let him listen or does he not want to talk about it?

Write him a letter explaining everything, how you feel each time he does it and your worries for the future. you have to ride this one out im afraid cause I know you just wont break up with him straight away. We get advice but dont take it. Just take it as a pinch of salt next time, cause if he keeps threatening this and never does it then he's just a little bit scared and cant handle little arguments or petty fights. Fighting (but not physical!!!) is healthy. Good luck

Answer 5

If you like that kind of behavior, then okay......Go for it! If not, let him go! It sounds like your partner has not reached the level of maturity necessary to sustain a long term relationship. Marriage is something you have to work at daily. There is no way around that. If he's infantile, you will be the one putting the most effort into the relationship and wil come to resent that over time. Wait until you find an appropriate partner and for now, I'd say it probably won't work, so move on.

Answer 6

You need to be brutally honest with him the next time you have an argument and he says that.

As much as it may hurt and you want a future with him don’t let him control your emotions by playing the threat game because you deserve better . Ask him if he feels that its not working then why does he stay and keep using the same threat. Causing you to feel so much doubt and heart ache when he says that to you make sure he understand that if he feels doubt about the whole thing working its causing you to feel the same way when he uses it against you as his way of breaking you down and that you aren’t going to allow for and it might be time to move on and find some one that will truly appreciate you for you and not play this kind of game with your emotions.

Answer 7

Some gents struggle to communicate what the real problem is. When you are not arguing have a sit down and explain that this behaviour upsets you and that you need to understand if there is a bigger underlying problem in your relationship. If there is then you can both work on it.

It could also be that in your arguments you've hurt him and he is trying to hurt you back with this behaviour - if that is the case and if you truly love each other then you will have to both work on communicating. Perhaps take 30 mins away from each other when arguing and talk it through once you have calmed down.

Best of luck!

Answer 8

properly do you opt for too have an abortion certain he must be debated with, yet he knew what he did at the same time as he had unprotected sex with you, and contained in the top your the single it really is pregnant and make the finest call, so in case you made up your recommendations then its time too tell him so he can learn too take care of it and its no longer the time too hide from the grandparents if he keeps being difficult, often times the single very last component you may want to do once you cant settle on issues, is only too convey contained in the father and mom, in case you want to suggestion you, i'm confident they wont sense free you aint married, yet in the adventure that they are descent human beings they gained't sense free that he purposefully were given you pregnant because he needed a baby with you and planed to finish that earlier being wed, and now is being difficult and stressful an abortion

Answer 9

Hi,

Sounds like your partner is unsure whether he wants this commitment or not. Your going to have ups and downs all the way through your life together, the key is how you deal with the downs.

Chucking an engagement ring away and walking out is not a solution, so you need to ask yourself if you partner really does want this relationship or not.

If the answer is no, then it may be up to you to take the brave fist step and call time.

Good luck.

Answer 10

I was in a relationship once where I found myself saying "this won't work" every time we had an argument. And the reason I said it was in fact because I had very serious doubts about it working, and in fact ended up leaving him. So maybe that's what's happening with your guy?

Answer 11

well!!

Pretty immature of him isn't it?

A lady likes to be secure whereas guys can go a little bit further without feeling insecure, this is why you make up in the bed - it's just in case you lose it too.

2 options - fight fire with fire. If he has always came back to you, then you can choose to say calmly - yeah you're right it's not working and go to bed (without him). He should come round to your way of thinking. When you talk about it (i assume you do talk about your arguments?) tell himif he takes the ring off again in anger you are gone.

Or you can carry on living like that even after you are married and have an awful insecure life