My husband had surgery on his wrist last Monday. He is unable to use that arm for about 10 weeks. He is going to be off work for all that time. My issue is that he acts like he is disabled now. He sits around watching TV all day and does nothing at the house. I realize that he can't do much, but good gosh, it only takes one hand to put dirty clothes in the washing machine, put wet ones in the dryer, and take the clean ones out of the dryer and put them in a basket so I can fold them after work. He won't even attempt to pick up the living room. I am going to go nuts if I have to deal with this for 10 weeks. I am putting this in parenting because he is also not helping with the kids much. Any (not rude) suggestions?
2006-10-02 00:53:50 · 18 answers · asked by LittleMermaid 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Dr Dee: I have done that. I hasn't worked. He wasn't alot of help before, but at least he wasn't this bad.
2006-10-02 00:59:15 · update #1
Dapiek: Either you are a man or you don't have kids. This is not a situation where the solution is marriage counceling. Get real! I just need more help around the house. Yes, the laundry does pile up, mostly cause he just doesn't help much, but now he won't do any at all. Yes, dishes usually stayed undone for a day or so, because he usually wouldn't help do them, but now he can't do that and I am not asking him to do that. He can however at least help with the laundry. I had to do all of that stuff after I gave birth to our daughter. So, don't make me out to be the hateful nagging wife.
2006-10-02 01:07:25 · update #2
Light a fire under his ***, that will get him movin'!! Most men are naturally lazy and feel that if they bring home the bacon they need not help out around the house. What they don't seem to get is that while their work day lasts between 8 and 10 hours ours can go on for 12 to 15 or more. Also , I'm pretty sure he contributes to 40% of the house hold mess, and if you have children they are partially his resposibility. Try figuring out how much it would cost him daily to hire someone to cook clean babysit and nurse him. Tell him if he doesn't start helping out you could leave and come back daily as hired help. I broke this down for my husband and he finally gets it. Good luck sister!!!!
2006-10-02 01:44:32 · answer #1 · answered by kendra B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would love the answer to that myself. My man did the same thing, but he wasn't disabled. I think men take for granted what we do for them. I don't think you should put up with it. Tell him that either he help you, or he will have to start doing his own laundry, his dishes, his cooking etc. himself. I don't think you need to go as far as kicking him out just yet. Let him know you are serious, if he still doesn't help out or at least put forth an effort, then maybe more drastic measures are needed. He need to realize you are only 1 person, you can't do everything thing for everyone. Good luck with this, I hope things get better for you.
2006-10-02 01:08:22 · answer #2 · answered by a_rose_by_another_name 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How did you possibly manage before your husband was home sick.
Did the laundry just pile up, and just now that you have someone at home you think it can finally be done?
He had surgery last Monday, and a week later you're writing in here that he isn't doing work around the house. His doctor sent him home because he CAN'T work. If he could work, he would be at work.
Is it possible this guy is in pain?
My suggestion is go schedule a visit to a marriage counselor, by the way you wrote your question, this is just the tip of the iceberg and your family needs some professional help.
2006-10-02 01:01:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 2⤋
You didn't mention if these were things he did before his surgery. If he didn't do them before, he won't do them now hon lol.
If he did, tell him the burden is too much for you, and he really needs to help you out just a little. Perhaps the laundry is a bit much, but he could vacuum, dust or do other light work. Ask him what he thinks he could do to help. Guys really like it when you give them a problem to solve.
As for the kids, again, if he didn't do it before, he won't do it now. Sounds like you are just noticing it because he's home all day.
2006-10-02 01:15:30 · answer #4 · answered by arewethereyet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My gosh honey, the man just had surgery on his wrist that is going to keep him out of work for 10 weeks. Give him a break. Maybe he is in pain. Let him heal a little and then ask him to help out around the house. A little TLC from you now will help him help you later. As for the kids, ask him to read to them or play board games while you get the housework done. My husband did all the housework when I had surgery and also did his job, and I would do the same for him. Some times we have to do more than normal...It will not kill you.
2006-10-02 01:07:53 · answer #5 · answered by nesmith52 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
OMG, woman, let it go. It hasn't yet been a week yet.
Have you considered that, inside, he might be a bit depressed over losing function of his wrist? Have you considered that he might have been dealing with pain?
If your question was, "We've been married for 2 years and my husband has never so much as lifted a finger around the house" I'd be more than a bit concerned. Usually those men don't realize it but their life is falling apart all around them. But this man just had surgery.
Best advice I can give is to encourage him to clean up his own things the best he can so he doesn't increase the burden on you. Bottom line, your committment was 'for better or worse', right? Well, you have a few weeks of worse, next time, it's his turn. Meanwhile, let him get caught up on his tv shows, he'll get bored of them before too long.
2006-10-02 01:11:07 · answer #6 · answered by Jeffrey B 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Let him have a few weeks to rest. I am sure it is very painful. Since he can't use one of his arms. I bet the one he is using is very soar. Just give him some time. Have you ever had to do everything with one arm? It is really very hard. Going to the bathroom is a job! As far as helping with the kids. I am sure he is able to read them a story. Try and think of things that would be easy for him. Think about if this was you in his shoes....
2006-10-02 01:59:20 · answer #7 · answered by LeeLynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-18 08:30:05 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do the same. dont cook for him only feed the kids & y'self. Dont clean his clothes. Or try leaving the house for about 2 weeks with the excuse that your mother or someone desperately needs your help. That ought to teach him to be responsible. If none of these work, threaten him with divorce, you dont need to be serious, just go as far as filing for the divorce & make him realise the realities behind it like the fact that you are the breadwinning mother of your children & he will be kicked out & still have to find a way to pay alamony
2006-10-02 01:00:46 · answer #9 · answered by Claude 6 · 0⤊ 3⤋
explain that you need help if he dont treat him like a kid and use a reward system but make it a bit more grown up. hopefully that will work.
could you please have a look at my question in the pregnancy section tittled help!!!!! im 16 and might be pregnant!!! thanx
2006-10-02 02:35:30 · answer #10 · answered by mummy to 3 miracles 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋