My ex keeps threatening me with court with our 3 year old boy. He won't pay me my CSA money if he doesn't see our boy. But he sometimes doesn't turn up, he constantly threatens me with court, he watches my every move in case I do something wrong so that he can go to court and say that I am an unfit mother. I have moved house away from the area that we are from and also moved jobs as he has people in the other place watching me, to see what time I finish and start so that my little boy doesn't stay in nursery too long. He questions my ex-husband about me and my ways, I am too scared to go on a night out on my own with my friends, in case they tell him I have had too much to drink.
I am so careful not to give him an excuse about going back to court, he got his nephews to get to know my other children from my previous marriage, then they ask questions of them to see what I have been doing with my little boy. So scared!
How can I put a stop to this?
Elain
2006-10-02 00:25:25 · 9 answers · asked by Elaine J 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Kee[p a log of allc otnmact and wput all your wriitng for money written down. Keep alog of all meetings and dates when he did not turn up. You can then go see a solicitor who can make sure they can put either a contact order in place (iyou can get this via legal aid I think) or for free via family mediation but - at the end of the day no court in the land will give him acces to the child if he fails or neglects to turn up. SO start acting now and I can see why you may wish toi avoid him as he is using this child to try and control you.
2006-10-02 04:24:56 · answer #1 · answered by YA YA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is going beyond concern for the child, this is stalking. I would see a solicitor ASAP and see whether a letter from them advising him that his behaviour is causing undue distress which cannot be good for the child would help. His actions are those of an unstable personality, so he isnt exactly painting a rosy image of himself. Every time he lets your son down by not collecting him, log it. Inform your solicitor, so that the courts can be shown he is erratic in his contact, he will not get custody. Once a letter has been issued if he continues to stalk you, you can then go further and ask for a restraining order keeping him a set distance from you and your son. Might be worth asking for a psychiatric evaluation of him too. Good luck!
2006-10-02 02:36:59 · answer #2 · answered by Lynn S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try this. Call up an attorney and get a restraining order put on him. He is invading your privacy and so are the coworkers working with you and I am sure there has to be laws against that. Also see if there are any women's groups in your area. You should be able to find one through the local Human Service department. Also do a search in your Yellow Pages under Social Services. Good luck with this and I hope you can find a way out of this dilemma.
Also give the police a call. I agree with Tracy Z that he is stalking you and that is illegal.
2006-10-02 00:35:41 · answer #3 · answered by The_answer_person 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well first of all your child must see his father whether he pays or not thats the CSA to get the money not you. As for the questions he asked well he obviously wants to make sure his child is safe. Maybe its better you go through court that way its legal and both parties stick to it. Money isnt an issue with children the fact the child has to see parents is the issue.
2006-10-02 02:05:27 · answer #4 · answered by BaconBits 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mother's for justice!?!? I think you don't quite understand the origins of "father's for justice". Set up to help dads who are denied access to their children! You sound as if you've already got custody, so be grateful. I wouldn't worry to much about your ex, most courts will give main custody rights to the mother, and they wouldn't want to disrupt the childs life anyway if he lives with you already, unless they think you are a danger to the childs life. The fact that he hasn't paid any child support will tell the judge that he himself is not in a position to bring the child up on his own. I would suggest that you arrange for a time for him to have visiting rights and have your solicitor present. Each time he refuses to turn up for whatever reasons your solicitor can make a note and after several missed visits that have been witnessed he won't stand a chance of ever getting custody anyway. Courts only reward fathers who are willing to help bring up their child when ever they have to, not just when it suits them.
I really think you should stop moaning though, some fathers actually pay child support, are willing to turn up whenever, are not threatening in anyway, and still are denied access by spitefull ex's.
2006-10-02 00:39:29 · answer #5 · answered by United_Until_I_Die 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i suggest u go along 2 ur nearest Citizens Advice Bureau.
book an appointment & explain all of the above them.
they'll at least B able 2 point u in the right direction 4 legal advice, ur rights etc.
Try Gingerbread, they mayB able 2 help u 2.
what a way 2 live being unable 2 go out with ur friends & have any leisure time 2 urslef.
Good Luck.
Hope u do find a sympathetic ear & some1 2 help u.
2006-10-02 00:33:53 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe this sounds a bit extreem but you could get a restraning order sort of thing put on him and have it arranged for him to see your little boy under supervised care somewhere away from your home. if this ever went to court then from what i can tell by what you have said there is no way he would get custody. i was in a similar situation although it wasnt as bad and i went to see a solicitor about it. you may even qualify for legal help. it was really good to talk to someone who knew excatly what i could do and how to go about it.
2006-10-02 00:32:51 · answer #7 · answered by caz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are YOUR friends and YOUR ex and YOUR children talking to this guy and his minions?
It sounds like you are either making all this up or you are the absolute most unassertive person on the planet.
I find it hard to believe that your childs father has managed to recruit an entire network of people who have nothing better to do than to "spy" on you and report your every move to him. Thats absurd.
2006-10-02 04:08:45 · answer #8 · answered by BoomChikkaBoom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 Sounds to me like he is stalking you need to call the Law asap and tell them your ex-husband is stallking you..There are strict laws for stalking after you do this get a restraining order to keep him away..You shouldnt have to be scared to live your life from day to day..
2006-10-02 00:30:29 · answer #9 · answered by Tracy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋