how do i cope with the death of my 24 year old son, any one else going through this hell?

Answer 1

''Hell'' is the word for it. People mean well but noone can truly comfort you, your grief will be hugely personal and monumentally isolating. you'll go through numbness, denial, anger, regret for things you wish you'd told him, for things you wish you hadn't said /done, you'll feel suicidal, a longing to be with him, and an overwhelming grief that you'll never get to see / feel/ touch / hear/ him again.You will feel your heart splinter and break, you will rage at why the world has not stopped to mark his passing, you will be angry that life is going on in spite of your loss and your grief. A part of you will die. But you will pick yourself up because you know that your son would have wanted you to, and that s when you will be able to celebrate your son..you will keep him alive every time you speak his name, every time you celebrate his life, every time you think of him. It will not be easy and you will have many black days, but know that you will feel warmth again. trust in the goodness of people, let them help you, place your trust in whatever helps you to just cope. You will never 'get over' your son's death, but you will learn to allow yourself to learn how to live with it. I wanted to die too, but others depend on me and their love raises me. I truly feel for you and I truly wish you well. XOX

Answer 2

Oh,hon, I am so sorry. I know you are in pain.You are never not going to miss this child. And there is no such thing as "getting over it". You only learn to cope.


But...You still need to be able to talk about your child and the loss. Your grief is isolating. Do have conversations with someone you trust. Tell them how things are progressing and let them validate your feelings. Your confidences may make them uncomfortable because there is nothing they can do to ease your pain. Let them know that just letting you confide in them is healing.

Consider getting away for a little while. Find a place that is quiet where you can be alone. You need to find the center of your world again. Take long walks on peaceful paths, in the mountains, on the beach, any where that you sense God can reach out to you. Watch the sun come up and watch the sun go down. This place is temporal. Close your eyes and let your spirit reconnect with the universe. Trust in God that your child is in a good and safe place. Remind youself that your spirit will be reunited with this child in the end. Accept the gift your life is and slowly begin to share it again. Maybe everything isn't going to be exactly right ever again, but you do have a right to the gift of the rest of your life. Do take time to count your blessings.

I do not believe this loss ever really heals. But you are here for a reason. Honor the memory of this child by living well. Open your heart to the rest of your life. You really can do this..... God bless and keep you all.

Answer 3

Not even going through that much, I felt I was going through hell a year ago when my baby got meningitis, a UTI, and a blood infection at the same time. I don't know if you really want to try to cope right now, suffering is somehow healing. I mean if you were to find coping easy then you'd feel guilty for getting over the terrible experience. In a few weeks or months though, I'd say you'd be ready. At that point do something for the world that will give your son's life meaning, for example: if he died of a disease sign yourself up to be an unrelated marrow donor, kidney donor...
If he died as a soldier volunteer at the veterans hospital...
Although you'll probably continue to suffer, I think serving will allow you to cope with the suffering.
I'm sorry about your loss.

Answer 4

First of all please accept my condolences.

It is an awful wrench to loose anyone let alone your beloved son. You probably wont want me to tell you that time is a great healer, but through experience I know that this is true.

If this is a recent event I feel there is little that will console you at this moment in time - but do know I am praying for you that the Lord will be with you and comfort you as you grieve.

Know that he is at peace and free from pain and suffering and from the strifes that exist in the world today.

Try to think of the future when you will eventually be reunited. What a wonderful time that will be for you.

When you are feeling more able to cope why not put together a journal/scapbook of his life and include special events that happened and moments shared. Jot down some things said, etc. No doubt you have many photographs but to put together some special ones in this format will be a tribute to him that you can share with others and you will also be able to go through at those times when you miss him most.

God Bless and take good care.

Answer 5

First of all I'm deeply sorry for your loss, I can't even begin to imagine what that must feel like. I don't think there's any easy answer to this, other than to let time heal your wounds. It's an old cliche but it does work. All you really need right now is to be around your friends and family, let them support you and be there if you need them. I know it may sound a little harsh as I can understand your suffering, but try and keep yourself busy, and just remember how much he loved you, I'm sure he'd want you to celebrate his life and concentrate on the good things. Be strong and I hope you find the peace your looking for, much love xxxx

Answer 6

I am sorry about your loss, Been in similar situation, anger, pity,rage at them for dying the list is endless. Over time you will forget a lot of the bad times arguments etc, remember the best about them. But one thing that will see you through is your memories. Some days you will just sit and look through old photos laugh and cry at the same time, some days a song will come on and it will hit you about why they loved or hated it. Time does not heal the pain fully, but for the sake of the memory of your son, you know that he would want you to carry on with your life, so keep memories in your Heart, no-one can take them from you.

Answer 7

losing a child is a parents worst nightmare...you could try bereavement counselling, it does help because in these group there are other families going through the same hell as you, you are not on your own hun, i am so sorry for your loss, take each day at a time, but i do suggest you join a group where other people have the same situation as you, you will understand why you are suffering so much and these people will help you....the pain will never leave you but it will ease off....i have never experience losing a child so i don't know what it is like...but counselling is a good start....good luck

Answer 8

Same hell different person (spouse) It's not easy. I haven't learned how to deal with it yet. It's been 1 1/2 yrs. and it's worse now than when it originally occured. Reality sets in and hurts like hell in it's purest form. Each stage is a journed through hell. Anger is one of the worst to experience. GOD help you, you're going to need it. I know I do and every day is just another melded into darkness and loss of hope. Especially when you feel as if you're on your own for more reasons than one.....peace and love as you're going to need a lot of it.........+++++++

Answer 9

Icant begin to imagine how you're feeling right now, i have a son and to think of loosing him makes me want to cry, you need some help and support. Your doctor can put you in touch with people who are going through the same nightmare. I wish you lots of love and hope your pain gets easier over time.x

Answer 10

I can`t really know what you are going through as I haven`t actually lost anyone that close, but all I can say is I am sorry you are going through this terrible ordeal, just keep him in your thoughts and he will be close by you and always be there no matter what, I hope I have helped in some way