I am 28 and have had 3 children my first passed away, the other two were perfectially healthy. I had a miss carrage with twind between the two I have and also had cervical cancer. About two weeks ago. We found out that we were pregnant so I went and seen my gp and gino and both told me that I would not be able yo carry full term and had to decide weather to terminate or not. We made the decision that it was for the best as I had already had 3 ceasers. my mum took me down to have the procedure done and ont the way she says the reason why I am so much closer to your sister. Then oh I went to the cemetary the other say (to see my daughter) Then while I am in surgery she goes and has a massage and cannot be contacted to pick me up. Then on the way home says I don't mind doing this once but don't amke a habbit of it. I do not understand why a mother would say those things and I am still very upset with her I have not said anything as my mind was in other places. What do I do.
2006-10-01 23:25:57 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I am so sorry for your loss. You mother sounds like she was trying to hide her own grief. Some people say cruel things when they do not know how to express their feelings. I would not do anything, but I would let her know that it did hurt your feelings. That this is not something you wanted to do. It is something you had to do. Tell your mother that this was a very hard decision to make. You did not want to terminate your pregnancy. I wish you luck.
2006-10-01 23:41:09 · answer #1 · answered by miamac49616 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
We all deal with loss in our own way. Your mother was probably so full of pain about your having to make and having made the decision to terminate, she let it all out. How do you ask a woman- your mother and the grandmother to your children- to take you to have an abortion in the first place?
This was certainly something that should have been handled between you and your partner. Very cruel, IMO, to make your mother an accessory.
I am very sorry for the hard choice you had to make, but I hope you and your mate have made certain there won't be another conception.
2006-10-02 06:48:17 · answer #2 · answered by auld mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ask an important question, "What do you do when people you love say insensitive things?"
The answer depends on your relationship with your mom and yourself. If your mom is always loose with the tongue, then you may have realized by now she doesn't mean to offend and it's just her way of venting stress. Some people live this way, taking insensitive comments from loved ones and just letting them run like water off a duck's back.
Or your mom may not be in the habit of being insensitive. If you have a good relationship with her, then even though it's not easy, telling her you were hurt when she made that remark (being careful not to say "You hurt me," but rather "I was hurt when" will take the pressure off her and draw the focus to your feelings).
Or if you don't have a good relationship with her then this may be just another thing you will have to forgive her for, even without her apologizing, lest bitterness continue to gnaw at your soul.
If we can help with any more specifics, please let us know.
2006-10-02 06:40:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your mother sounds insensitive....there is nothing you can do about it...my mother was the same way but now that she is 75 she is starting to let down her defenses and actually admit having feelings of her own....just know that it's her problem and not yours and that she is not the person you need to have around you at times that you might feel vulnerable.
2006-10-02 06:31:36 · answer #4 · answered by bertha 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Good luck, woman.
2006-10-02 06:27:11 · answer #5 · answered by Brian Reed 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋