You & she get along well, as friends at this point. You met through a mutual interest (studying same course). Similar stages in life. You are 49, she is 39. You have both come out of long term relationships, with a way to go with sorting out property settlements etc. You make each other laugh. You can tell you find each other attractive, because initially you started chatting because she smiled at you in a crowded place and then later, on another occasion, you got chatting. Since then, you have been in contact either by email or in person for the purposes of the mutual interest. You share your personal woes, and you vent your frustrations etc to each other about your personal situations. This has been happening for over 12 months, and you two have been out for drinks on a couple of occasions. BUT, there has been no attempt by either party to initiate any intimacy. From the lady's point of view, she really wants to get intimate. Guys, what would you want the lady to do?
2006-10-01 22:27:45 · 16 answers · asked by ( . ) ( . ) 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
i think i would want her to give me some signs to move on to the next level...but u as a man should be the one that initiates the intimate part of it
2006-10-01 22:31:45 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give him a sign
Being so wrapped up in personal melodrama and knowing the other person's grievances could actually just be a misery loving company kind of thing here.
You should repost to be more explicit about the level of intimacy that is definately already there.
The only thing that is clearly defined is a mutual animal attraction and similar circumstances. I wonder if you are meeting as in like a support group in this case with some very plain though heavy words. This scenario could be the intimacy killer if you have this man thinking about his faults maybe hes becoming very introverted in the process....which in my opinion might very well be that hes a good guy that has tried hard but might have some guilt issues.
Also you got to face what you are talking about, when its your turn on the old crank. Maybe youre leading him to believe that you arent ready.
In either scenario, I would have tried to bag you no later than six months into this whatever it is...and i consider myself a respectable guy...so he is undoubtedly at least being respectful at this point.
Tell you what. If you are ready, just flat out ask him who he is seeing next time you are out for drinks. If he says no one and you want to take it on faith then find the strength to do something very simple...take the plunge til he takes over, which might not be much more than a hint. Slow dance...rub up against, grab leg...hold his hand, flat out kiss him whatever. good luck.
and make sure you wear something almost indecently sexy.
2006-10-01 22:38:28 · answer #2 · answered by jorluke 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not to worry about it. to go with the flow for now seems each of them have just come out of long term relationships, Sometimes its little hard starting over again,But if it's the woman feels she wants to take it to an intimate stage then why should she .not be the first to take that step, He's 49 hes 39 they been in contact for a year, So must be something there
2006-10-01 22:39:20 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the lady wants to get intimate fine! but why rush into a hasty situation,both are coming out of long relationships, so there is a fear factor of being hurt, or failing in the intimate area, this is something that the man and woman should talk about openly and honestly. before jumping into bed and commencing with the mattress magic
2006-10-01 22:32:11 · answer #4 · answered by Cherokee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My Dear! You want the relationship? Go for it! you have been seeing each other for sometime, as consequence of that you have make up your mind to get intimate, why ? because I believe you have things in common...you take similar courses, you smile........ but the thing is who is going to make the first crucial move...? You may be afraid of going for first, you may want him to make a move...but let me tell you dear... if you are not going to do something about it, there will be a day you will regret for the
not doing any thing about it...remember he is the one person you want to be with...who is making you laugh....and make you pose to think about him when you are alone....at least for sure you can do something...what ? Give him a sign... show a little bit of possession ...call him every day... ask him for a movie... ask him for lunch and a diner... yes! be creative....and frank for the things you like about him... and you will feeling about him...that will get him down.
2006-10-02 00:35:55 · answer #5 · answered by Montel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Say that you want to start dating, of course! If you think you have been dating, just go out with him somewhere and invite him in at the end of the night. Then after you talk a while, start touching him. He should get the idea, I suppose. Good luck!
2006-10-01 22:36:00 · answer #6 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys, what would you want the lady to do?
Explain that you value the friendship and support to date but have been thinking recently that it might be cool to take the friendship to a higher level. Ask if he feels the same and might be ready for that?
2006-10-01 22:35:26 · answer #7 · answered by Cdn_Superdave 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him. Go on a date a quiet place, or where you feel most comforteable and ask him how he truly feels about you. What's holding him or you back?
have the courage to step fwd and ask, or if not, lead him to ask.
Is better to find out once and for all if you are wasting your time or not.
2006-10-01 22:33:29 · answer #8 · answered by spanishflyin_tx 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the problem, You are not buying a shirt. or tooth brush. JUST ASK!, here let me help.... Take this persons hand look them square in the eye. and say....."Would you like to take this relationship to a more intimate level, I am not promising anything we might crash and burn" you take from there.(My work here is done)
2006-10-01 22:34:42 · answer #9 · answered by libra 5 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
first component first, lemme ask u to take a seat back urself somewhat.... i understand I easily have been in this rejection section in the previous... i m now 10 yrs elder than u.... first mistake u did became telling ur feeling to her very previous due... it happens bcos u r a shy guy on the block (me too).... its ok.... there are consistently different females around u, who would look out for u... possibly that distinctive lady attracted u, u felt whilst she rejected u, the full international hates u... yet issues are extra extra desirable, if u think of very certainly... relax there are consistently opportunities in existence.... be happpy
2016-10-18 08:26:53 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋