I met this girl 5 months ago when she was dating someone else and have been friends with her since. 1 month ago she broke up with this guy and we have started seeing alot more of each other, she calls me when she is upset and needs someone to talk to or just because. She has gotten jealous of two other girls I went to dinner with and hung out with yet when I have asked her to go on a date she blows me off by not calling me back. But when we just call it dinner or lunch she is cool with it! I get alot of mixed signals, she acts like she doesn't want to go out with me one minute but she doesn't want anybody else to go out with me either. Should I give her more time or move on, I really like her and we share so many common interests and hobbies its scary. Her friends tease us and always ask when were going to announce were going out? Whats going on here? Is she saying try harder, I need more time to get over my X or is she saying lets just be friends.
2006-10-01 21:55:55 · 10 answers · asked by Robert m 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds to me as if she's still confused about what she wants.
If she was with the other guy for some time she might not want to get into another relationship so soon for fear of being hurt again, maybe that's why she likes going out with you but not on offical "dates". Give her a bit more time but if you want to make it more of a relationship you will have to make your feelings clear to her and see what she thinks.
My guess is that she's just scared.
2006-10-01 21:59:49 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, you are being used!! Basically, it sounds to me like she's a little lonely. She gets jealous of other girls because she doesn't want you sharing that companionship with anyone else. You are most definately stuck in the friend zone. You made your mistake from the beginning by coming at her like you wanted to be a best friend instead of a boyfriend. Sure, the best relationships can start as friendships but there's a thin line between the two and you leaned too far over to the friendship side. She needs you when she needs you. Come out and tell her how you feel and if she wants you, she'll let you know, but if not...leave it alone and move on to something that will be sure to lead you into a relationship and not a friendship. I'm sure you will land on your feet, you sound like a good person and a catch!! Best of luck
2006-10-01 22:06:51 · answer #2 · answered by msmith4950@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you are stuck in the friend zone. She obviously does not want to DATE you, although she has no problem hanging with you and talking to you about all of her problems. Think of yourself as a boyfriend substitute in this situation. You should definitely move on to other girls. Good luck with the next one! And be patient, because it will probably take lots of work for you to find a worthwhile girl to date. You can remain friends with her if you wish, but I would not put much time into it if I were you. Have a nice day!
Edit: OK, I missed the part about her not wanting you to date other girls. Well, in that case, you should get a date with another girl and tell her about it like you would normally. When she gets all upset about it, just mention that you wanted to date her and she refused. That might get something going, but be very careful to look for signs that she does not like you so much. She might just date you to prove you wrong or keep you from other girls. Then again, it is possible that she likes you and has issues. But my expert opinion is that she probably does not like you "like that" and is wasting your time.
Oh, yeah. One other thing. By the time people break up, they are usually over the trauma of breaking up. Especially the person who initiated the breakup. So if she broke up with him, you can bet that she is over it already. It cannot hurt to give her some time, but don't wait for her indefinitely. Good luck!
2006-10-01 22:03:54 · answer #3 · answered by anonymous 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
haha, sounds like you're in between the friend zone and the boy friend zone.. Try idnoring her for a while, a couple of weeks, then see what happens.
oh, and after the 2 weeks, act almost completly different, be more spontanous and do things around her you normally wouldn't. kiss her if you want, just limit your time and noticably change to the point where she still thinks of you as the "old" you and then do some crazy **** when things are dulling.
2006-10-02 19:41:46 · answer #4 · answered by Pie Man 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems that she's really interested, but there's something which prevents her from being a gf to you.
Many ppl experience such situations. at the same time they want someone but they cant do it because there's something wrong.
There might be a complicated issue that I can't help. maybe problems of last dumped guy. or maybe she has sworn not to fall in love with any guy. you just have to inspect it yourself.
Common cause is shyness & fear. she might be too shy that she behaves rejecting.
or maybe she's scared of getting into a relationship with you
these two issues happen with firsttimers, but girls are not linear equaitons!!
2006-10-01 22:06:16 · answer #5 · answered by Sally 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this guy, and I kind of treat him the same way. I realy like him, but I would never tell him that. He is difinetly not stuck in the friend zone but it's his choice as to if he wants to move out of the friend zone. Just ask her how she feels about things and if she would consider being more than friends.
2006-10-01 22:01:11 · answer #6 · answered by jazzyrhythms 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is kinda crazy, thats pretty much exactly how my x is acting cause weve been thinking about getting back together. my girls a little insane so im not gonna say do as i do, im gonna say i think you should just keep doing what you have. if her friends say stuff like that she obviously likes you but is probably having a hard time geting over her x. so just give it time bro, your not in friends only at all. maybe go for a kiss sometime, it couldnt kill ya
2006-10-01 22:00:14 · answer #7 · answered by stoned 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't like the sound of those calls to cry on your shoulder. But her jealousy is a good sign. TBH, I'd just keep living my life, don't bother asking her on dates. If it turns out she DOES like you, that'll really start to gnaw at her as she realises she's not running the show. And if she doesn't, well she'll be a good friend and will encourage you. Don't go on other dates to provoke a reaction, just live your life as you see fit.
2006-10-01 22:00:13 · answer #8 · answered by Dirty_Idea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could ask her what she's doing, first of all. Ask her why she doesn't return your calls. Perhaps she's scared of getting hurt. Take things slow, and just keep it at a friendship pace until she's ready.
Don't ask her out yet. Keep it at lunches or dinners and get to know her better.
2006-10-01 22:04:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are being used, almost like the old say why buy the cow when the milk is free, been there done that, i thinks it is time to move on, best wishes
2006-10-01 21:58:46 · answer #10 · answered by blue_eyed_southernman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋