Can someone give me ADVICE?

Question

i have a problem about my mom. she always gets made at everyone including me. what i dont understand is that whenever she asks me to do something she gets mad too. sometimes when she loses something, she blames me for it. she also embarrasses me in front of other people. when she does that, i just cry. i always think of leaving the house. i cant take it anymore. what should i do? i wanna change her.

thanks for reading.

Answer 1

That sounds a lot like the relationship I've had with my mother.

Sadly, there are times when parents don't recognize the negative impact their behavior has on their children. It's very likely that your mom falls into this category.

Try talking to her about the effect her attitude is having on you. Do it at a time when she's calm and willing to listen. If this doesn't work or you don't think it is possible to get her in a listening mode, write her a carefully worded letter that expresses all your feelings and emotions. Make sure it isn't 'angry' or accusatory and thoroughly tells how you feel.

My mother has always had a very volatile personality. She was always angry and constantly attacked and blamed me and all who were around her. At the time I really didn't think she cared much about me or my feelings. I felt unloved and became incredibly depressed. When I finally got the chance to express my emotions to her, she surprised me by making huge attempts to rectify the situation.

Because of my experience, I know that if your mom really loves and cares for you like I think she does, once you inform her of your concerns with whole-hearted sincerity, she'll definitely make a genuine attempt to improve her behavior.

Take care and good luck :).

Answer 2

You sound really troubled and at odds. Let me just be the first to tell you that parents are like that sometimes. Sometimes they just take their own personal matters out on you. I'm not really sure that you can change her, but you can definately talk to her. Sit her down and have a serious conversation with her about how you feel, her actions, and how her actions and words affect you. She may not even realize what she is doing. Most parents don't want to hurt their children and maybe if you could let her know that this situation is hurting you, you guys could work together on trying to change it. Also, another approach you could take is trying to talk to her and figure out where her problems and anger are stemming from to where she is always upset with you and everyone else. Hang in there! Remember, childhood is only temporary! You are not alone, a lot of us have similar problems. Good luck!

Answer 3

She gets "mad" at you, most likely she is going through menopause. She probably needs medication. I had a horrible time with my mother from the time I was 12 until I was about 30 years old. Then I read a book called "How to Manage Your Mother." I don't recognize the cover of the one showing on half.com so I am not sure if it is the other one that doesn't have the image available. I do know there were different sections explaining each type of mothers' behaviors. Anyway see if your library has it. It did me a lot of good in learning how to deal with her psychotic behaviors and how to prevent them, and change the outcome of how I reacted to her.

Answer 4

Your mother could be highly stressed and I find that children have a tendency to see things from their point of view and not the parents. I'm guessing you are a teenager and in that respect you should be able to sit down with your mother and talk to her about how you feel and if she isn't receptive don't make her react by pushing it. You will have to find your own space for peace of mind and although it may be hard, respect your mother. You can't change her just don't be like her. Do you have an adult that you can trust to discuss this with in confidence so that you are not stressing about what's going on? If you REALLY want to leave home and you have a family member who will welcome you there are routes you can take. Try to talk to her first then take it from there. Remember, there are TWO SIDES to the story. Try to find out what hers is okay.

Answer 5

maybe mom is under a lot of pressure from work husband kids cleaning the house could be many things. why don't you try talking to her on a good day and say mom i want to have a serious talk and let you know how i feel about certain things and i would appreciate if you could help me understand if im doing anything wrong or if i could make things easier on you. I love you and don't like to see us this way.

Sometimes moms are so busy they don't catch there hurting us. and by you calmly sitting down or haveing a girl talk over coffee or something fun can help the situation. bet mom would love just a bit of one on one with her daughter she so loves

Give it a try.

and good luck

Answer 6

There are some moms out there that dont take to criticizm from their children about their inappropriate behavior, but sure like to dish it out. My mom was the same way and I could only wait to leave the nest and prove that my own kids were worthy of an apology and kindness from me. Your mom like mine, was and is self centered. Dont allow her to talk to you as if you are her 'confidant'. Dont hear her problems cuz she doesnt listen to yours, does she? Please get up, get out from any of her talk and walk away to the restroom and wherever. If she asks where you went, just say, "oh I thot you were done, or, that you were getting too upset so I left". There isnt much else you can do except be how my sisters were, pretend they were deaf most of time. Seems it saved them from her picking on them. Try it. Hey, youve got nothing to lose.

Answer 7

Firstly, I understand how frustrating that can be. But you can't change her, she needs to change herself. It might not be that she is being malicious, or insensitive. She just might not realise the effect her actions have on you.

I suggest sitting her down, and having a talk to her. Tell her how you feel, why you feel that way, and relate your emotions to specific events so that she can fully understand.

Try not to sound angry, or aggressive, but instead, understanding and willing to compromise.

Maybe her frustration and anger, runs much deeper than where you stand. That's actually very likely. Until she gets herself together, try hard to hang in there, but take the necessary steps to find a common ground.

Good luck.

Answer 8

Go talk to some other adult in your family that you can trust (an aunt, an uncle, teacher or a nice neighbor) who will be willing to talk to your mom. It's hard on your mom to listen to you because she is probably having problems you don't know about. None of this is your fault, honey. Just find an adult to help you tell your mom how you feel, ok? God love ya.

Answer 9

If you are in school, focus on your grades so that you can build an independent and satisfying life for yourself eventually. I doubt if you can change your mother, but, you can change your response to her! Take control as much of possible of your own emotions. Hold yourself with dignity and realize the problem is hers and not yours. People can see that.
As for possible reasons for her behavior: stress, menopause, divorce or marital problems, unconscious competition with you because she sees you growing up and, possibly, having chances she never had; dominance and control.

Answer 10

You should try talking to her and explaining to her how you feel.. and I mean how you feel about leaving. Maybe she has a deeper problem and she needs someone to talk to... maybe something in her past that hurt her and made it project on other people. She may need a doctors help.