My BF threw gifts I gave to him at my frount door. He got angry and gritted his teeth and his arms started shaking uncontrably. He was so angry and started yelling at me.
He said he was really good at controlling his anger because if his dad was that angry his dad would have broken out all the windows in the car. My BF had to keep going out to the car because he was so angry at me. He was mad because I had expressed concern about him sharing a hotel room with another woman on a road trip. He got really angry with me.
I was scared of him when he got that angry and told him so. He told me I have never hit you you should not be affraid.
Later on the phone I told him I was affraid of him and he stared laughing at me and saying it was rediculous. I told him to please stop laughing because it was scaring me.
Today he said some verbal jabs at me. He said perhaps he is not the nice person I think he is in a strange voice. He said sometimes he gets mad at me.
2006-10-01 20:10:54 · 12 answers · asked by adobeprincess 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He goes on to say with all the bad in the world how can I say he is abusive.
2006-10-01 20:11:30 · update #1
He said I need to work in a battered womans shelter to see what real abuse is.
2006-10-01 20:12:09 · update #2
He is really scarry sometimes. One time my dog was so scared of him that he hid in the bathroom. That was because I turned up the heat too high one night. He was about to break up with me for that.
2006-10-01 20:13:09 · update #3
What is with this weirdness? Is this abuse? Why is he saying it is not? His friend was really mean and degrading to his girlfriend and he said at least he does not hit her.
2006-10-01 20:14:14 · update #4
He seems to think anything is okay as long as it is not hitting. I guess threating is okay to him.
2006-10-01 20:14:59 · update #5
Thanks he is saying that i am the bossy one and that he is submissive. I want to know why I am the one who is feeling scared and crying then. I have lost my feelings. I am scared of him. I will always wonder if I give himsomething if he will flip out and throw it. If I will say something if he will come back and lash out at me. It seems like my kind treatment of him is bringing out the worst in him now. It is really scarry.
2006-10-01 20:27:47 · update #6
Since I choose my BF by who is nice and has good character it is a really big disapointment when they turn out bad. After 2 years he turned out this bad. It makes me never want to get married to anyone.
2006-10-01 20:28:58 · update #7
That jurk has left me in tears yet another day and I have no clue why. I just know he is not good for me. I know a relationship is supposed to be a good thing. I do not know what went wrong, but I am old enough to know that somethings do not make sense.
2006-10-01 20:30:34 · update #8
Not only will they say they are not abusive, but they will try to make you think you are being everything they are. They will call you controlling and try to turn everything back on you. If you see signs of this, GET OUT OF THE RELATIONSHIP.
Do not stay thinking you are going to change this person. Do not think you have invested too much and owe it to anyone to see it through. It will not improve. The only possible outcome is that other people you love will become involved and they will also become subject to his abuse.
I know, I was married to a man like that. I thought he would not be like that to our daughter and now I have to pay for her counseling as well. Her innocence suffered because nobody gave me this advice. Good luck and take care of you.
2006-10-01 20:17:53 · answer #1 · answered by dbackbarb 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This guy IS abusive. Make yourself an escape plan to get out of the relationship. By that I mean have yourself somewhere ready to stay preferably where he will not find you. Work out how you can separate your finances and all the things that living together entails. Wait till he is out of town and then go. You cannot change this person, only years of therapy will. Keep yourself safe you will find happiness in the future.
2006-10-02 03:37:47 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abuse is still abuse even if it's not physical. You should leave him. Check in with a friend on relative for a little while and if you're really worried check in with your local women's shelter. Emotional abuse is a very bad thing and can sometimes lead to worse things (most guys who phsyically abuse women also don't think of themselves as abusers)
2006-10-02 03:28:03 · answer #3 · answered by Adrianna 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Guess what if you called a battered women's shelter, they would let you know that THIS is an abusive relationship. Here check it out: Does your partner:
Embarrass you with put-downs?
Look at you or act in ways that scare you?
Control what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
Stop you from seeing your friends or family members?
Take your money or Social Security check, make you ask for money or refuse to give you money?
Make all of the decisions?
Tell you that you’re a bad parent or threaten to take away or hurt your children?
Prevent you from working or attending school?
Act like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even deny doing it?
Destroy your property or threaten to kill your pets?
Intimidate you with guns, knives or other weapons?
Shove you, slap you, choke you, or hit you?
Force you to try and drop charges?
Threaten to commit suicide?
Threaten to kill you?
If you answered 'yes' to even one of these questions,
you may be in an abusive relationship.
====
These kind of relationships only get worse, and if his bad punches out windows in cars, guess what his role model has been?
Yes, abusers say they are not abusers, because they don't want to be abusers. If he grew up in this environment though, I would not count on him changing. The best thing you can do is recognize this relationship for what it is, an abusive one, and get out now before it gets dangerous.
2006-10-02 03:27:47 · answer #4 · answered by anabasisx 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it doesnt sound like he associates his bahavior with abuse but he does seem to think it is a good way to treat you,,to scare you into believing he is 'on edge' and could blow at any time,,,this would seem an ideal way to keep you in line without acyually having to do anything as the rules he is setting are so undefined,put a stop to this now before his foot is truly in the door,this IS abuse whether he acknowledges it or not,,anything that causes fear,words to undermine your self esteme,name calling,belittling you and not being consistent in his good or bad behavior,,now this may have worked for his father but you do not have to take it,,we dont live in the dark ages and you dont need to feel like this,,be blunt,,tell him you dont like how he treats you,that you wont put up with it and if he doesnt stop it will destroy any and all feelings you have for him.he has a choice and must want to be nicer to you for any of this to work but if he truly gets off on scaring you it may be wiser to just get out of this relationship,,if he cares he will pay attention to you,,,if not...........
2006-10-02 03:20:47 · answer #5 · answered by lex 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he is an abuser he is not going to admit it.He done well by holding in his temper.No matter what it scared you and you have your doubts about his ability to keep his temper under control.That is a warning sign.Say good-bye to him.No need to live your life being scared.Hell, I would be mad if my man slept in a same room with another girl.Open your eyes and stay safe.
2006-10-02 03:16:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
They do not. it's like robbers who never tell they are one. Is a very stange relationship. Why dont you spend time with yourself thinking what would happen to you in the future if you marry this kind of guy.
2006-10-02 03:14:18 · answer #7 · answered by Marlon Yahoo 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u have to leave him. u shouldn't be scared of anybody especially him. i was in an abusive relationship, i am not with him anymore but i had a friend i confided in who helped me through. it will be hard to get away but u can do it! if i did it, u can.
2006-10-02 03:26:29 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im sorry sweetie but this does sound like abuse and you need to get out before it gets worse and he actually hits you.
it is sad that it has taken two years but no wat your going through cause of my daughters father i feel pregnant and he changed so i broke up with him and was less stressed
2006-10-02 03:36:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
your boyfriend is abusive...it may not be physical abuse but he is still verbally abusive to you. i think that he just tries not to show you that he may be physically abusive i think he is in denial
2006-10-02 03:15:54 · answer #10 · answered by muthafaka8o8 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋