what to do grandparnet lets him run wild?

Question

I drop my 4 year old off with his grandpa and he lets him destroy everything which is not sitting well with grandma. What gets me is grandpa is big on hunting and guns and he lets my 4 year old play with bullets and load guns. It was fine when grandpa did it for him for his gun that shot foamballs but grandpa says hes too big for that now. I went to pick him up at grandpas house and he was climbing up his grandpas dresser where he keeps a gun in the drawer and bullets in it too. He was in the room alone and wanted to shot it. I've tried everything from not taking the child there to being right on top of them to talking with the grandparents and setting boundaries. He goes right behinde my back and does the opposite of everything I say. All of our guns are in a combination and key lock safe so home fine. Hes okay at home. He doesn't destroy anything or try to get his fathers guns. What should I do? Hes a completely different child there.

His grandpa lets him get away with everything. His grandma told him he couldnt come over anymore if he didnt behave because she didnt want him getting hurt. took the gun away and grandpa gave it right back. We've had converstaions on gun safety at home and he won't even pick up a toy gun with out his father present. Its a night and day difference. I know grandpa wants my son to love him to death, but theres gotta be another way....My son's favorite phrase is now my grandpa lets me do it.

Answer 1

I know it's difficult, but you have to be the parent here. Tell the grandpa your child's life is in danger and under no circumstances will he return until grandpa utilizes a little thing we grownups call "self control". That means he must stop trying to shower your boy with love by giving him everything he wants.

Also, a talk with your son is in order too. Tell him that your rules stand for him no matter where he is, whether at home or away.

Answer 2

WOW...I'm not saying this to be mean but to prevent a horrible accident. Maybe untill your dad/father in law can learn that guns and 4 year old don't go together and that it's not okay to let a 4 year old load a gun or play with a gun, you should stay away from him. Invite them to your house. Stick up for yourself and for your son. If something were to happen and your son did get a hold of a loaded gun and shoot someone or worse himself you would be so guilt ridden that you didn't put your foot down on something this big. It's not like a lollipop or soda. It's a deadly weapon. Tell them lock it up, lock the room up or were not coming over.

Answer 3

I agree. You have to let your father know how you feel. This is such a dangerous situation. I don't think he is fully aware of the severity of this. It sounds that he is really fond of his grandchild, just not totally educated about gun safety or parenting. Children aren't able to totally grasp the concept of death and dying for years, and if he gets a hold of that gun when grandpa is not around, I hate to think about what could happen. I feel for you cause I am sure you don't want to cause tension in the family. Children need constants in their lives so he needs to know that he should have the same rules everywhere no matter who is in charge. Explain that to Grandpa and surely he will understand. If not it may be a good idea to give him a ultimatum. Either your rules stand or he doesn't see his grandson at his home. I know that sounds harsh but we are talking about your baby. Good luck. I'm sorry you even have to deal with that.

Answer 4

If you've already talked to the grandparents and given them the right to discipline your child when you are not there and it still does not work, then the only other thing you can do is not allow your child to be there unless you are present. Have you talked to your child about why guns are dangerous to play around with? Does he understand the destructive power they have? Does he understand that he needs to respect the weapon because of what it can do? There must be some reason why he is testing his limits and defying authority at the grandparents' house. Is something going on there that you need to check out?

Answer 5

we have a similar problem, but more with spray paint. Just tell them flat out that you will not tolerate your child being put into that envirnoment. perhaps your dad/father inlaw was introduced to guns at a young age and sees nothing wrong with it. its your job as a good mommy to put your foot down before your child is faceless. There is nothing good about your child playing like that. Even if he were to just run around with a bullet.. I saw on the news where a child threw a shotgun shell repeatedly at the wall, and it blew up. Please do something before he gets hurt.

Answer 6

Sweet mother of mercy! You DO NOT let a child spend time in a place where he has access to loaded firearms, END OF STORY. "Sorry" isn't going to put your child's brains back inside his skull when he pulls the trigger.

If the in-laws want to spend time with him, they are to do it on some neutral ground (park, playground, etc.) under your supervision. Spending time with your child is a privilege, not a right; and they've got to do some serious work to earn back the trust they tossed aside. Anything less would be HORRIBLY negligent and irresponsible of you.

Answer 7

Need to buckle down and let him know tha it is not ok and that you are not going to stand for it and that if he doesn't change or listen than he can't go over there anymore. Also you might want to by the grandparents a safe for Christmas.

Answer 8

This is child endangerment, and if you're up to it you can press charges. Don't take your kid over there, period. If grandma isn't going to supervise them, she can visit Junior at your house.

Answer 9

I strongly suggest finding other child care arrangments.