getting over a break up?

Question

Me and my boyfriend of 3 years just recently broke up. Im scared that im gunna screw up my college classes now because sometimes i feel to upset to concentrate. What also really scares me is that we have the exact same friends so there is a good chance that we will be seeing eachother. I just dont want this to ruin everything ive got going for me. Weve broken up before and i know how terrible i felt until we got back together and i just dont want that anymore. Im pretty sure that we are done for good now and im just having a hard time accepting that. I know that time heals all wounds but i dont want to fail my classes. i know there is nothing anyone could do to help but does anyone know of any really good ways to get over it?

Answer 1

Hi there,

You are not alone.

Even at this moment while you might be possibly crying your eyes out over the broken relationship, somewhere out there, in this world, there must be at least 1,000 others doing the same as you.

But life still goes on, doesn't it?

I don't know if this is your first breakup or not, but surely you must know that you will definitely get over it in time? How did you deal with your previous breakups? Indulge in food and retail therapy? Go for screaming karaoke sessions with your best friend? Watch past episodes of Friends for six hours straight? Or even stare at the moon and stars from your balcony, with Chicago songs playing in the background? You know, all these things do work. And as my good friend swears by, Blueberry Cheesecake can solve all problems :)

You must understand that boyfriends come and go. That's a way of life. Heck, my bf broke up with me in January this year and I can't say that I am totally over him yet. But there's so much more to live for. What about your family?

About friends, I am sure if they treat you sincerely as a friend, they will not pass you by. Meaning, even though they are mutual friends, they will not forget about you or do silly things that might make the both of you feel awkward should everyone go out for a group dinner in the near future.

And above all, you must learn to love yourself and Be By Yourself Comfortably. About your college grades, no one can take that away from you. You reap what you sow. And you will have to live with whatever grades you are getting in future.

So don't shortchange yourself. Treat yourself right by mugging all that you can to get that great piece of certificate. Having a good cert really opens doors when you first step into the workforce. Don't let some silly guy who doesn't know how good you are ever take that away from you.

You are right in saying that there's nothing people can do physically to help you out of your depression, so please buck up by yourself. Hopefully, with all the encouragement that you are getting from this website, from your family and friends, will help tide you through this difficult time.

Remember. Time passes. And who knows, maybe a year down the road, you will be laughing yourself silly or groan with amused shame as you think about how down you are feeling right now. I am saying this because that's what I always feel when I finally recover from a broken relationship.

Take care girl! And Chin Up! :)

Answer 2

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Answer 3

If you think negative, everythign will be negative, if you think your grades will drop theyll drop, you have to think positive, its mind over matter, if you tell yourself, my grades will stay good, and you say with confidence then you make it happen, as for your exact same friends, sweety i think its time to make some new ones, im not saying to let go of the ones you already have, just make new ones that you can hang out with and not have to worry about having to hang out with your ex too, also meeting new people is perfect for forgetting the old (your ex) and last but not least, put a front for the whole world, show everyone your strong and youll start to belive it too, and if you ever feel like just braking down and talking about your ex and all your feelings inside, get a close friend and let it all out. Life is way too short to have it mopping around a guy, so rent sad mopey love movies, grab choclate, ice cream and two friends and spend the whole day locked in the room, but only allow yourself that one day, and then go out and live life again.

Answer 4

I will tell you right now...Don't ever let anyone or anything get in the way of your future...I'm 32 I've been thru alot of relationships that I thought I can't make it to class, or I can't concentrate at work because of him....Don't you dare pitty yourself, I know your hurt, but you have to think of it as it's not your time with him..There are people that come into your life to fill a certain void, when that is fulfilled sometimes you have to move on, you learn from what they gave in the relationship, and they also learn as well there are somethings we can't fulfill for another person in which there is someone else...many fish in the sea, only one life

Answer 5

It always amazes me at the energy young people put in relationships. Believe me when I say I am a sensitive guy and I understand your pain. I been in your exact same situation on a few occassions. However, looking back on it now I realize that all of my energy was wasted because none of those women whom I thought I was so in love with turned out to be my soulmate. At the time it felt like they were "the one" but they weren't. Fact of the matter is my trues soulmate who I married four months ago lived over 850 miles away in another state. That's just how life goes. When you are young and in love and get wrapped up in your emotions, they will all at some time or another seem like "THE ONE", but they aren't. Don't waste your time worrying just focus on your studies and if you two were meant to be then things will work itself out. I will be praying for you. Peace and God bless.

Answer 6

you sound like me if you really care for this guy the best thing even though it sounds crazy is act like you guys are just taking a break until you get through this semester and if all fails you may want to hook back up with him so you can focus on school people may act like your crazy and say you need to focus on school and get you stuff together but that is easier said then done especially after three years that is a very long time I always said when I go to school I want to be single that way I could focus and not have to worry about this sort of thing but it is very hard and what happens when you start school you meet a cute guy or something crazy like that but I would act like we are going to get back together even if your not or get back with him and slowly get over him but do this until you get done with this semester I wish you all the luck in the world and if you find someone with a better e mail me and let me know I am about to start school and I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years and we just recently broke up and I'm already going through it of how bad it is going to be thinking about him and us and trying to focus being with someone that long they are always on your mind I hope you guys work it out

Answer 7

Honey, if I knew I would tell you. I guess it just takes time. But, I see that time is not an option for you re classes. Try walking and getting fresh air when you can. Try telling yourself you're better of without him. Try picturing meeting a new, better looking, more congenial guy. And you probably will eventually. Take deeps breaths. Try any and all of these. I hope they help. Good luck.

Answer 8

Dont focus on him and the break up. Yes it will take time for you to heal, but throw yourself into your studies to keep yourself busy. You get two things out of it if you do it this way....you get good grades and keep your school work up....and you get your mind off of this hurtful and healing time. If you see him, don't worry about what he thinks, says, or sees. If your friends are just that, FRIENDS, they will know of the break up and should respect both of you,

Good luck

Answer 9

find something to motivate you..
like when i had problems with my bf i stayed home closed in my room for 2 days crying ..that's not healthy...so i started saying to myself..im pretty, im smart, everything in my life is pretty good ....why just cry b/c of this break up? so i changed and went to eat out and at school i would not talk about it with friends... and in class i would always right notes of what my teachers were teaching even if we didnthave to ..so i could pay attention..started going to the gym...so try to deal with it...but not while putting yourself down..like there were nights i cried after all this...but i would just write my feelings...and talk to a friend about it and it would be done...
i hope it gets better for you b/c i know how it is i wa swith him for 2 and half yrs

Answer 10

i understand you very well. 3years is 3years..but thats it. its goodbye. i know its not easy and it would be hard to wake up each day feeling that big wound in your heart.. you will be doing things on your own, watching movies will never be the same again be you were no longer a couple.
just be calm., dont try to skip the pain., believe me it will make you stronger and wiser. move on. dont let that person ruin your life bec he is not worth it. im telling you.