Do I have a problem?

Question

I am obsessed with my looks. I'm not ugly, but if i dont look absolutely the way i like i wont leave the house. Sometimes i cant get my makeup or my hair to look right and if this happens i'll stay home or come home from work or school. Its all I ever think about. And then after i see someone i look in the mirror to see what their last impression was of me. And then i obsess about it or days.

i dont mean to be self absorbed or vein...i honestly cant help it

Answer 1

hmmm....that is VANITY to the highest degree.

You want to look perfect. You want others to see you as perfect. TRY to put your thoughts on other things, its not good to be always thinking of yourself.

I will agree that we always have to look our best, but we cannot compromise our happiness and our chance to be outside or do the work that has to be done just because we have messed up our hair or our make-up.

EVERYBODY has PHYSICAL IMPERFECTIONS. Even the most gorgeous looking hunk has a physical imperfection which he hides no matter how small it is. But we never and will never know what it is, since OVERALL, he looks good.

What is important is you feel good about yourself, and you make other people feel good about you.

Answer 2

An observation. When you look at yourself in a mirror, you are not seeing what others see. You are seeing an approximation of what others see. Mirrors reverse the image.

Our society puts so much emphasis on physical looks that it is very common for girls to get surgery to improve their looks. The pressure on women to "look" good is enormous and way out of line. Women in old China had to have small feet to look good. Big feet was awful. So they bound the little girls feet so they wouldn't grow. As women, they couldn't walk but that was considered beautiful. Only slaves, maids and riffraff had big feet. You were not aristocratic if you had big feet. Big feet was the sign of the lower caste. If you were somebody you had to have tiny feet, if you were a woman back then. That example will do, but there are horrible steps women had to take to "look" beautiful throughout history. If a woman gets tired of playing that game, good for her.

A good book has an introduction. How many of us read the introduction to any book? OK, maybe some do, but the vast majority get right to the book. That's what physical attractiveness is, just the introduction. It is not the book. Nothing makes a woman more attractive to a man than her sweetness. In Spanish they call it sangre dulce (sweet blood).

Another observation: Go to any large supermarket and look at the people. They are average looking. Hardly anyone is strikingly beautiful. In fact it is extremely rare to find a strikingly beautiful person in real life. People are average looking. That is normal. I remember a man with elephantiasis who was named man of the year in a certain town, and he was married and had kids. Man of the year!

Your wish to look nice has become an obsession. This obsession has become compulsive. The first step is to recognize that you are obsessed compulsively. Admit it, that is the first step to recovery. Then go to a counselor who deals with obsessive compulsive behavior. I think you need a little help. A strong person can do it by themselves but it takes the ability to ignore the compulsion. Psychiatrists say that if you can safely ignore the compulsion 21 times in a row, you beat it. The first time is very hard. It slowly gets easier as you go until finally you have no compulsion. Most of us are not that strong. This is a torment to you and you need to be free. It is not only a compulsion but it is anxiety, social anxiety. It is a bondage and you need to be free. By all means get to a counselor. I wish you well. Good luck.

Answer 3

Yes you do have a problem. The fact that you will stay home from work or school because you don't look the way you want to means that your problem is interfering with your life. It is impossible from what you say to know what is causing the problem, but it's obvious that you need professional help for this.

The best person to see for this would be a psychiatrist in addition to a counselor. The psychiatrist can help you with medication while you are working with a counselor to solve your problem.

Answer 4

Yes, you do have a problem, but it is not that you are obsessed with your looks, but that you are obsessed with the media manipulation of your looks.
Like so many women, you undoubtably wear too much makeup. The face that you constantly look at in the mirror is not yours but some facsimile of the faces you see on TV and on magazine covers. You have unfortunately been duped into feeling "ugly" without an inordinate amount of makeup masking the real you. While I find a little eyeliner and some lipstick attractive on a women, accentuating her natural features, troweling on pounds of makeup to create a totally fake wax-like facade is disgusting. It gets all over my shirts, lips, and fingers and I end up walkiing around with a Stepfordbarbie.
Do yourself a favor tomorrow: get up, don't be drawn into the mirror for any longer than it takes to brush your hair, and go out with your natural beauty into the beautiful world. Let the world see YOU--not some fake caricature of a woman. If you are really insecure, put on some lipstick and a thin bit of eyeliner-but no more. Learn to live with yourself and stop letting the cosmetic industry morph you out. Best wishes!!

Answer 5

Get counseling. Obviously you have some obsessive thinking. Yes, I would say it is a problem, as it is interferring with your life. It sounds like you are a perfectionist about your personal appearance, are very self-absorbed, and probably have some self-esteem problems, and maybe you are basing your whole self-worth on your appearance. Probably some control issues also. Whatever is at the root of the problem, I think it is time you get professional help so you can get back to living.

Answer 6

I m sure u r a pretty. but d problem may b in your confidence level. all of us go thru such days.but obsession of any kind is unhealthy. instead of focusing on your looks y not focus on being liked just d way you r n letting others like you for that n not your looks alone. if u feel good with in, it shows on your manners and face. warm personality is important n not looks alone.
its quite understandable being a woman how imp it is for us to look good, especially to men. but men like women anyway but for them to respect and appreciate you its very important that you r intelligent, well-informed and warm.
focus your energies in your inner beauty. read more, judge yourself with your own senses n not let others judgement of you keep from feeling beautiful. smile more n see the change around you.
looks r deceiving n everyone knows it.
this is a very shallow outlook towards life.
as long as you have a clear skin, clean hair n cloths n you smell good, its enough. rest depends on wha you have inside your head n not otherwise.

Answer 7

To be honest, it sounds like you might have O.C.D. You can talk to your Doctor about it. Then your Dr can advise you on the best treatment. You have many options, therapy is the best. Try to focus on other things, then it will not be so bad. Since you know you are obsessing about it, when you notice you are doing it, just do something else. Rearrange things, or count to 10 and look again and see that you are fine.. But really try to see a pro on this..best of wishes, it will be hard but you can do it....

Answer 8

It's easy to presume that you're suffering from vanity in an extreme degree. But I'm not judging you, and based from your problem it has become a neurotic disorder, perhaps OCD. The best way to go about it is go to a therapist. But, if going to a therapist is way too expensive, and if you're brave enough, then my suggestion is face your fears, face it head on, girl. First, here's one tough exercise, if you're used to going out fully made up, then try going out one day with hardly any makeup on. Sounds scary for you? Yes, it could be scary at first, but once you get through three straight days doing this "make-under", in the following days you'll just realize that makeup just doesn't matter. You can only truly stand out because of your personality.

Most of all, don't let any of your thoughts ruin your day. It's not worth it.

Answer 9

this is an obsession and you need a mental health professional. Go to your medical Dr. for a referral.
This is not a normal "want to look pretty" thing.

Answer 10

You worry too much about what others think of you. Not only this but you seem to think if you don't feel like you look "perfect" you're not confident. I also like to feel like I look good when I leave the house but I don't care if other people think so. Try to focus on other things. Volunteer somewhere or do something that gives you an inner sense of satisfaction rather that outer.

Answer 11

I would advise that you get professional help. We cannot diagnose, but we answerers can mislead you.

It is helpful to be informed, so you can check these out:

"Be overly concerned with physical appearance"
http://www.webmd.com/content/article/118/112878.htm

You may have heard of this one, it doesn't sound like you, but others may have said so. This can help arm you against their misconceptions. http://www.webmd.com/content/article/118/112876.htm

Maybe this, but you would know better than me http://www.webmd.com/content/article/60/67144.htm

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder was mentioned,
http://www.webmd.com/content/article/60/67109.htm

Many people that have one may discover that they have a combination of more than one, your health care professional may suggest something that you never suspected. This could be because poor self monitoring is part of the disorder. When this happens, get a good description of the disorder & it's symptoms to a family member and/or good friend, they would have observed your behaviors longer than the doctor. They may be better equipped to agree or disagree with the diagnosis, at which point a second professional opinion could be advisable.