I talked with women on some adult web-sites and my girlfriend caught me. Now she doesn't trust me to go anywhere by myself. I feel a little crowded by her actions. I haven't been ony any of these sites in about 9 months but she still mistrusts me. I take her everywhere with me and we do everything together but I want to go to a football game with a college friend and she is pretty upset by the whole thing. I think she needs to ease up on me but she doesn't think so. What can I do to make her trust me again?
2006-10-01 18:16:34 · 31 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Be straight with her. You lost her trust by cheating, even if you dont see it that way, she probably does. Assure her you havent been on one of those sites since she voiced her objections. Tell her that you are sorry and that you feel as though she is treating you unfairly and that you cannot prove you are trustworthy again if she doesnt give you the chance.
Be calm and patient and try to work on it. You may be surprised and find that she is feeling insecure because you went looking for other women... she wants to be the only one you want. If it is a committed relationship then she deserves it too, stop looking around if she is the one you want.
2006-10-01 18:24:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I have to say, that was pretty disloyal. I've been in similar situations, sort of, and it sucks a whole lot for her, but she's just going to have to let you go to this football game.
I mean, I hope you're being honest in where you're going and who with.
But actions speak louder than words and if she sees that you are leaving at a specific time with a specific person, and you come back at a specific time (on time!) she'll really have no other choice but believe where you were. I mean, a football game is only like what, 3 hours?
Just go out of your way to let her see that you're going with "Joe Smith" and not running off to meet some chick... that'll make her feel slightly less uneasy. And if you could call her from the stadium, that might help her out too!
Good Luck! Tell her it's hard to do, but will help you're relationship! I've been in the whole 'untrusting issues'... I know how she feels.
2006-10-02 01:23:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She never will fully trust you. It's best to stop carrying around the corpse of a dead relationship. You never realize how huge trust is until you've lost it. But I will say that I'm proud of you for realizing that talking to women on adult web-sites is cheating. Some men don't even count sex as cheating. THey call it a "slip up." You've learned your lesson from this one. Don't ever forget how much something like this can hurt someone and move on.
2006-10-02 01:20:30 · answer #3 · answered by Jenny J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She will trust you once she sees over a period of time ( the length of this time is up to her) that there is absolutely no reason for her to be suspicious any longer... which will be let's say in 5- 10 years or so. You don't just get somebody's trust... you earn it by being honest and loyal... your actions will determine if you can ever be trusted again. Stay and suffer or leave... you caused this situation, so bear with it or leave.
2006-10-02 01:23:16 · answer #4 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about keeping it in your pocket from now on. Cheating is a serious thing and it can't be forgiven overnight. You messed up big time and have to eat crap for a while. Do what ever she requires of you until she lets up on you. You say 9months as if that is a short time. How long would it take for you to get over catching her with her legs thrown up in the air or a mouth full of penis? If you love her deal with it. You made your bed now lie in it.
2006-10-02 01:22:37 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She'll probably never really trust you again. It's a good thing you're not married. If you did this while you are dating and should be totally infatuated with her, what will you do when times get rough? I think you should break up and let her find somebody who is really crazy about her. And maybe you can find somebody you can be faithful to.
2006-10-02 01:22:32 · answer #6 · answered by The First Dragon 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no excuse for cheating, and thus your girlfriend has every right to be pissed with you. As a matter of fact, why she didn't break up with you when she caught you cheating is beyond me. Some tips for not losing her trust in the first place: don't cheat.
2006-10-02 01:20:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
talking to me is not a thing of cheating, but if you did more then that u should have problems. Its been about what 10 months and she still treats this like it happen yesterday. I really dont think its much more you can do but tell her how you feel. Its up 2 her to let go of the past and move on. Im not saying she will forget but she needs to move on. the only thing i can think of that you can do is to keep your line on communication open and honest. If she is the one you love make sure she knows that.
everyone needs me time!!!!!!!
2006-10-02 01:30:30 · answer #8 · answered by vet 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You violated her trust in you and you cannot get that back. There will always be a doubt in the back of her mind at the very least. it is no one's fault but your own so hopefully you will have learned from this mistake and won't make it the next time around.
2006-10-02 01:20:28 · answer #9 · answered by gwoodmama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me she's has gone from not trusting you to trying to control you. You maybe in a relationship with her but you going to a game or doing anything you want to do without her is your business as long as it doesn't put you relationship in harms way. You are still an individual, and your not married to her thank god!
You have to do what makes you happy, and she need to get more self esteem. Bottom line-- she sounds like she has you just where she wants you. Sorry, And Remember " LIFE IS TOO SHORT" Have it your way, BE HAPPY! :)
2006-10-02 01:28:05 · answer #10 · answered by lady0959 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋