My girlfriend and I have been together about two months, and dating for two before that. She has been in long relationships for about 4 years prior with little time in between. We have grown very close, however, she is still very close to her ex boyfriend and says that he is still her best friend, and tells me that she still gets emotional around him. Recently she said that she needs to be single for awhile and that the only reason is that she hasnt been single and while she says she doesnt want to be with her ex, awknowledges that it isnt right that she cries around him so much. We still talk multiple times daily and spend time together, and we both have said that we don't want to be with anyone else, but she still needed this time. I am crazy about her and don't want to pressure her and am very grateful for how honest she has been. She told me to think of this as "Setting up for the best" and she said that if it didnt happen now it would get worse later. What should I do?
2006-10-01 17:46:45 · 9 answers · asked by jandersen03 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I think you seem like a very respectable guy. Putting myself in that situation. I've been with my boyfriend over 2 years and I think it would be hard to get over him too quickly.. Or at least maybe the thought of just having "him" around. It would be hard to get used to someone knew. But it does sound like she really likes you. Maybe she just isn't completely "ready" for you yet. You want all of her attention. Maybe you should just give it some time and see what happens.
2006-10-01 17:51:19 · answer #1 · answered by jackiejunebug 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were just dumped. She was trying to be nice, so she wouldn't hurt your feelings. But you were dumped. The best thing to do is get over it.
And even if she really was sincere (which I can understand, too), continue to act as though had been dumped, but don't waste time waiting for her to get through being single. Chances are when she's ready to be a couple again, it will be with someone else. If it does happen to be you and you're available, fine, go for it, just remember she might need her space again. And if you're not available, well, that means you found someone better.
The upshot of all this is, you are now single, as much as ending a relationship hurts, it's something you have to deal with. It's only going to hurt worse, for longer if you continue pining for her. So move on, try to be a good friend to her. But even if you get back together, you'll still have an ugly spot there, which you might want to keep in mind.
I know how this sort of thing feels, and you want to keep giving her the benefit of the doubt, but it's a bad place for her now, but it's a bad place for her to expect you to be, too.
2006-10-02 00:54:09 · answer #2 · answered by answersBeta2.1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What else can you do? Wait, be patient, give her her time. You can't force her to be with you right now, and if you walk away , you may lose her forever. She has been honest with you, you said so yourself, so be supportive, be her best friend right now. Sounds to me like she cries around her ex so much because she is mourning the death of a 4 year relationship. This is why time is needed after a relationship ends, she didn't take that time then, let her take it now. If she wanted to be with him, she would. Be patient.
2006-10-02 00:55:45 · answer #3 · answered by Linda P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
By all means, give her the space. What if down the road, you two have been together for a few years, and all of a sudden she packs up and takes off? Because she doesn't know what she needs to about herself. Sometimes, as much of a struggle as it may be for you, it needs to have a rest, a sorting time. You may want to compare her loss of that relationship to the death of someone. It takes a lot of time to heal, and yes some tears, but as time passes it will get better. Rebounding back into the strong, patient arms of her best friend (you) will be worth your patience.
2006-10-02 00:54:23 · answer #4 · answered by H2Ocolors 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her some space. If you truly care about her you will respect her. It's hard to just break things off when you have been with someone for a long time. She may not be ready for a relationship right now. I've been there and emotions are raw.
2006-10-02 00:51:34 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Obviously she is still in lover with her ex very much.I Think she needs more time ,because she wants to work it out with him.Or she needs time to get over him.She doesn't want to hurt your feelings.So respect that and give her the time she needs.Keep in touch,let her know how much you care and be there for her whenever she needs you.At the same time give her a space and some time to clear her head.Good luck to you.
2006-10-02 00:56:12 · answer #6 · answered by avavu 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ive been here, dump or forget the bit*h. Every woman says she needs time! Thats a beat around the bush meaning she want more cock! Just move on!
2006-10-02 00:51:15 · answer #7 · answered by xll_criptonic_xll 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
obviously she is not sure about her feeling for u and her ex, maybe she still wants to get back with him without u knowing. but maybe she just wanna have fun for a while andif she realy loves u she will understand soon that there is mre fun with u...
2006-10-02 00:54:18 · answer #8 · answered by Ashlee_Hbiba 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she's still in love with her ex.
2006-10-02 01:06:26 · answer #9 · answered by JaneDivided 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋