I am a college student and one of my closest friends is a 35 year old man I met at work. We spend a lot of time together and when we go out he always insists on paying for everything. There was a lapse in our friendship for a few months and during that time he got engaged to a woman in another state. He thinks his engagement has fizzled but still calls her his gf. He has been calling me daily wanting to do things. He says he cares a lot about me, etc but he also says that he can tell me certain things because he's not trying to impress me and I'm a kid. during our lapse I totally wrote him out of my life so now I could care less if he wants to start a romantic relationship or not. But I am curious as to what he is up to, if anything. Like I said I'm totally cool staying friends it's just that his generosity and comments make things kinda awkward.
2006-10-01 16:47:07 · 7 answers · asked by mizindependent 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He sounds confused about how he feels about you. The age difference is probably the reason why. I would stay friends, but I would try to make your freindship more egalitarian and on equal footing. Insist that you pay for some of the things you do together. He might stop thinking of you as a kid and more of an equal.
2006-10-01 17:02:51 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its good to know that you two are friends, but maybe you two arent on the same page. youre fine with being friends but it seems as if this man is struggling with thinking about you and his fiance? his generosity makes things awkward maybe because he thinks he could have something with u while.. well, while you dont since u wrote him out of your life.
set the record straight with him, especially in this time when hes about to get married! u may not be doing it on purpose, but u could be leading him on in a way. acknowlege the fact that you like having this friendship with him but it doesnt get further then that. hes probably under a lot of pressure especially if hes engaged, so make things a bit easier for him =]
2006-10-01 23:52:08 · answer #2 · answered by slipgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, that is a little weird. It is also a bit offensive that he would say you are just a kid. If you were just a kid then why would a grown man be wanting to hang out with you, ya know.
I would just explain to him the next time you hang out that it makes you feel uncomfortable that he pays for everything so you want to pay for yourself. If you were close before you should be able to tell him how you feel and go from there.
2006-10-01 23:50:24 · answer #3 · answered by Amy >'.'< 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, in the first place there is nothing wrong with what you're doing. you met him at work, you became good friends. you don't have to worry about his generosity because you never asked for it. he was the one insisting on it (i suppose) so you shouldn't feel worried about it. but my suggestion for you is to stay normal being a friend to him. but on top of whatever is happening, try not to say yes all the time, when he'll offer a treat. but if he expects to command control because of his "treats" then he is wrong. stay up at arms. control yourself. stay friends. but if you like the guy, there's also nothing wrong with it, just as long as you know for sure that she's not in a relationship. and you should be responsible for your further actions. Good Luck.
2006-10-01 23:55:32 · answer #4 · answered by Doctor Answer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like you and he are made for each other - but maybe the age difference is a big deal to him.
not alot of men in this world pay for everything - and him doing this is not a bad thing - so make the most of it
someone just needs to make the first move - if you are interested - then go for it - life is too short - if he can talk to you / confide in you then your halfway to a match made in heaven
2006-10-01 23:50:48 · answer #5 · answered by schmushe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
complicated.....u should explain to him that u would feel more comfortable with out the complients and paying and that u want a friendship not that type of relationship
2006-10-01 23:52:10 · answer #6 · answered by iheartcoolcaconxoxoxo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a weirdo. I would completly avoid him.
2006-10-01 23:50:16 · answer #7 · answered by Tiffany V 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋