I know this answer has been asked before but here is the situation. My father-in -law and I have always been close. I have always believed in God and he hasn't. Recently I have decided to learn more about the Bible, God and Jesus and he seems very put off by it. He will not get into my car because I have "Jesus Fish" on it. Once we were very close and we could joke about anything. What is going on? It really bothers me that things are changing. Why do they have to change, is he avoiding me or am I acting different?
2006-10-01 16:41:41 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
He is being convicted, in his heart, by God, and being around you, since you have the spirit of God, that is why he is acting this way. Don't give up. You may be the instrument through which God will help this man come to know Jesus. Bless your heart! You don't have to be upset about this; God will guide you. Important note, though: don't compromise your beliefs, even if they may be making him uncomfortable.
2006-10-01 16:44:05 · answer #1 · answered by Esther 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋
A grad student and friend who was a Baptist, once told me that he had heard I was an atheist and he had never knowingly met an atheist and was curious about what it was like for me. I'd had folks use similar lines to get me into "conversion conversations", but I strongly felt he was sincere. He was. We had a great conversation over coffee and we both came away with respect for the other's convictions and choices. We never discussed it again and it never came up as an issue in our friendship.
I have many theist and very religious friends and coworkers - we just let each other be about it and get along fine. You do need to look at what has changed in your relationship. The Jesus Fish thing seems pretty extreme, but are you perhaps dominating your conversations with your renewed interest? Just something to look at. Tell him what you told us and ask him what is up with his reserve. Perhaps you will reach the same conclusion that my friend and I did.
2006-10-01 23:56:35 · answer #2 · answered by Skeff 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him how much you value your relationship with him and you feel that since you've chosen to look more in-depth into your beliefs you feel that it has somehow created a distance between you. Let him know that you still care and that you are still the same person. I'd also let him know that even though you felt you needed to re-connect with your Christianity doesn't mean that you think less of him or that you judge him in any way. What christians and atheist seemed to have forgotten is that we are all 'human' and we all need to feel like we are valued and not looked down on.
2006-10-02 01:05:31 · answer #3 · answered by Romney S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Too bad that your father-in-law feels that way. He probably has a negative perception of fundamentalists (related to their desire to marginalize science and medicine, compromise human rights, and limit reproductive choice). That said, just don't push your beliefs on him -- he may have a bad experience where fundamentalists start judging and acting cult-like and preachy. Maybe the best thing is to air it out with him - that you really love him and love the closeness you have and that you don't want anythnig to come between him and you -- and that the christianity pursuit won't affect your relationship with him.
I personally think that religion should be a very private matter. I don't put anything on my car or show anyone my beliefs because I don't want to exclude anyone. I have my beliefs and I don't need to advertise them to the world. BUT -- this is only my personal perspective on the way **I** do things.
2006-10-01 23:51:18 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I have no way of knowing what your relationship is or used to be, but I will make this observation - the people with the Vesica Pisces (aka Ichthus, aka Jesus fish) symbol on their cars are usually a bit over the top. Perhaps you have become uncomfortably evangelical?
Non-evangelical Christians can be friends with non-evangelical atheists. I have many such Christian friends. The key is, you must respect eachother. That doesn't mean you have to respect their position, but it does mean you have to respect their right to hold it without interference on your part.
If your relationship with your FIL has changed due to religion, at least one of you has violated this respect.
2006-10-01 23:53:10 · answer #5 · answered by lenny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would wager both. If you're interested in reading the Bible, then you may be discussing it with him. This may make him squeemish, and he may not be able or willing to tell you why out of fear of getting into an argument.
One possible way out of this is to tell him that you respect his different beliefs and that you will not discuss anything to do with your religious studies, if that would make him more comfortable. (Consider it like you were being sensitive about talking about birth defects around someone who had a birth defect. You wouldn't say anything to make them uncomfortable, and you could do the same for your father-in-law.)
This may have to remain a detente, with no meeting of the minds. Maybe in a couple of years, when he grows to trust that you're not going to try to convert him, he'll be more open to talking about things with you.
I'm a gay atheistic Buddhist, and I work in a church-related organization. It's possible to be friends and co-workers, but there are somethings you have to edit out of your conversation.
2006-10-01 23:47:00 · answer #6 · answered by NHBaritone 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is a big difference between being and Atheist and being anti-God or anti-Christian. It sounds like your Jesus Fish triggered something in him. It's a shame he lacks the maturity to see past that and love you for who you are.
There is however, a sad truth regarding all aspects of life, and that is 'things change'. You are only responsible for yourself. Try to love him for who he is and hope he can do the same for you.
2006-10-01 23:52:51 · answer #7 · answered by dave 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see why not, if both can swallow their pride and live with their differences. It is unfortunate that your FIL has decided to treat you like this, but that is his choice, and I think he should respect your right to learn more just as you respect his right not to believe. Also, and I'm not implying that this is your case, but it would certainly not be a very Christ-like thing to do to not befriend someone based on ANY difference they may have. Christ embraced everyone He met, and we are expected to follow His example.
I applaud your desire to learn more about anything. If he chooses to be prideful, then let him be. Just keep being the same with him as you have been. Be the best example you can be, and continue to befriend him.
Good luck!
2006-10-01 23:48:59 · answer #8 · answered by class act 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you do not be friends with them and treat them with love, how will they ever come to be lead to Jesus? Do not adapt their ways, and stay strong in your faith in Christ, but yes, be a friend so that they can see Christ in you.
Also, of course you may be acting different, but not in a bad sense. It makes sense that you would be different, that is Christ in you. Maybe you are triggering things in him that he know are true, like God, but doesn't want to face because he is having to much fun in the materialistic world. It might be a good sign that he is a little uncomfortable. He is showing conviction.
When I became a Christian, my oldest son acted the same way, didn't want to be around public with me if I was going to act like a Jesus Freak. I let him make his choice, but I continued to show him love. Guess what, he went to church with me a few times and is no longer worried about that in me. Even admitted to me that he was happy that I found God and was jealous sometimes that he hasn't found God the same way. He accepted Christ at 12 and is now going to be 21. He still has things he needs to reconcile to the Lord, but God hasn't stopped tugging at his heart and I believe God will never let him go, he just hasn't reached spiritual maturity yet.
Hang in there and pray for yourself and for your father-in-law. He is afraid of change, with your help, that may pass.
2006-10-01 23:54:39 · answer #9 · answered by Gardener for God(dmd) 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What if he refused to drive with you because you hated Black people, or because you used heroin, or because you thought the Earth was flat? Some people are bothered by ignorance in any form, and superstitious nonsense is just another form of it.
2006-10-01 23:45:30 · answer #10 · answered by Paul J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋