This is the longest question ever, but I would really appreciate and honest truthful answer, thanks?

Question

Ok here goes:


I’m 15, this girl is 13: ITS only 2 years

A few months ago, me and this girl were really close, we would talk and flirt all the time, and this went on for a while, well eventually people started talking about us, being so close, and wondered if we were dating. She started backing off big time, and seemed like something was bothering her. Well I asked her to the movies, and she said idk maybe. I took it as a nice way of saying no. Well she told her friends she just doesn’t know, because I’ve liked many different girls b4, and she just want to see if I could stick with her for a while. Well months passed, and we got further and further away. I wondered why? Well she and her mom are REALLY close, so I asked her mom. Her mom said she was just really scared, because we have been friends since age 7. Well then she told her friends she just doesn’t want to hurt my feelings. It got to the point were I couldn’t stand it anymore. So I emailed her this about a month ago


can we please talk??
I've got to tell you something, because, well, i just got to know.
I really like you, alot. And it seemed like you used to like me. But now, it just seems like you are really really trying to avoid me. I mean, i know youve been busy and all with swimmin, but like since carrowinds, we havent talked, barely any , at all. It seems like you just dont care about me. I mean, i feel so confused, because, for some reason, you just stopped talking to me. Why? I mean, are you trying to get me to take the hint? Or what? I mean i really dont know what to think. Tell me anything, tell me that you hate me, just please please be honest. Remember that thing at carrowinds, guys cant stand when girls beat around the bush? Well, if you dont like me, please just tell me straight up. My feelings wont be hurt. And if you do, but just arent sure, just tell me. I wanna be there for you, I want you to be able to trust me, and be able to talk to me, about anything

This is what she replied

hey,
well first of all, I don't hate you. second, I haven't been avoiding you either becuase its not been just swimming that I've been busy with its been life.I also haven't been beating around the bush because you never asked me if I did or not. But I haven't ever thought of being more than friends with you because we've always been good friends and I think thats how things should stay.I just don't want to ruin a friendship.hope you've had a good day, and i will talk to you later.





This is what I replied



hey!!. thanks for being honest with me. I really value our friendship too, and if you don’t feel comfortable, because of ruining the friendship if something were to happen, that is cool with me.




Now to me, that sounds like two things (1) she doesn’t want to ruin a friendship, cuz we’ve been friends since age 7 or (2) shes just letting me down easy. But now she is flirting with this other guy, like she used to do with me. But she seems more comfortable around me than she did before. But when she sees that I am not going out of my way to see her, she seems to talk to me more, and flirt a little more, almost like she don’t have me anymore. And sometimes, Ill catch her looking at me, and when I look she’ll look away. And then sometimes, her body language, she just seems sad, like she wants to tell me something, or likes me or IDK what, its just she seems different since we talked about it. But I mean b4 she really seemed to like me, and IDK why she just would have stopped. , I mean I’ve like many girls, just none like this, When I wake up sheds the first think I think about, and the last think when I go to sleep. I just cant let her go.
My question is do you think she was letting me down easy, or is just scared, and what should I do about it? And please don’t tell me I’m too young

Answer 1

My honest and truthful answer is -

No one has time to waste for reading your lengthy question.
Questions should be tuf and short.

Answer 2

Well you have been friends for a long time and now you 2 are not really children anymore. Things are now different, maybe you both question if the friendship you had before would be acceptable now that your horizons are expanding. Maybe she feels uncomfortable about any new feelings she may have for you now. She was comfortable when it was simpler. At the same time she may not know how to proceed. You are both teens, need feelings develop, and yes it can be scary. She could be playing safe. The best thing for you to do would be to just be there for her. Tell her that you are and always will be her friend if that is what she wants. Respect her wishes. If she starts "flirting" with you, she may just be trying to catch that friendly feeling you both had before. Don't just assume that she wants more than friends. I am sure that when you 2 were younger you used to joke and tease eachother, her flirting could be a modification of that. Unless she tells you that she wants to be your girlfriend, don't assume anything else. Go on with your life as her friend and keep your mind open for other possibilities.

Answer 3

Oh, honey. I know you don't want to hear this but you are young and that is a huge part of this. You have a mad crush on a girl you've known for a long time - this has happened to all of us at one point or another. What you need to understand is that while you feel like you're dying inside, can't think of anything but her, can't imagine ever liking anyone as much as you like her ever again, etc. - this is a crush. And you have to decide if this is worth ruining a solid friendship over, because let's face facts - this won't last at you guys' age. You aren't going to get together at 15/13, stay together and wind up married with 8 kids. I don't want to sound mean - just realistic. Another thing to consider is that being a 15-year-old boy, you have things on your mind that she is probably not going to be ready for. She's in middle school, you're in high school. It is kind of odd that you want to date someone who is that much younger than you. Now, my husband is 2 years older than me but it doesn't make much difference after 20, which was how old I was when we met. At 13 and 15 it may as well be 10 years because you are on completely different pages emotionally and developmentally.
My best advice would be to keep her as your friend, at least for another 5 years or so. It's so nice to have just regular good friends who are girls when you are a guy and vice versa. Don't spoil a good friendship by caving to a passing thought.
Good luck to you.

Answer 4

aww that's so cute! See hun, i'm almost 17, and i went through the same situation...except..i was in the other position. It seems to me like she really does like you, it's just..she's the one that is young. She doesn't want to take the chance of things changing between you two. So..yeah, she is scared, and yeah, she is letting you down easy. But she doesn't like..not like you. She just likes the way things are right now. If you really feel the way you say you do about her, then you should just kind of leave it alone right now. She likes the way things are right now, and even though you may want more, she's probably not ready for that yet. So my advice to you is stay close, be there for her when she needs you, and most of all make her feel comfortable around you. Anytime you need advice hun you can IM me at texascg008 at yahoo... you seem really sweet.

Answer 5

It sounds like she's trying to let you down easy, and just stay friends with you. The problem is, a while back when you were definately just friends, you two flirted. That was part of your friendship. Now, it's hard for the friendship to remain the same, because she doesn't want to hurt you but she's used to flirting with you. You need to ask her to stop flirting with you if she's not interested in you romantically, because it's hurting the friendship. She should understand that. She doesn't want to lose what you two have, but things will have to change so that you don't get hurt.

Answer 6

I think you should give her some time and space to think about how she really feels about you. She sounds that she might be a little confused or maybe she doesnt feel like she's ready for a relationship just yet. Remember you have been friends since very young so its possible that she might see you as a brother or cousin figure and not a potential boyfriend. It appears she values your friendship, so i suggest you give it time and see how it goes.

Answer 7

She doesn't want to lose you as a friend if something were to happen in the relationship. I think she cherishes the friendship and doesn't want anything to come between that. Never know as you two get older things may change, for now be patient, remain friends, and date other people.

Answer 8

Here's some advice that will serve you well in life. . . believe exactly what she says to you! She said she wanted to just be friends - believe her! It doesn't matter why she wants that. When you don't listen to her, you show her disrespect and that is never positive.

Either she is scared, in which case the best thing you can do is live your life in such a way that she has reason to trust you. Or she is just playing with you, in which case she's not worth worrying with.

Answer 9

i think that you got her attention and perhaps shes curious about what would happen with you 2 together but it seems like shes scared of ruining the thing you got already. my advice is dont push her just keep being bud's and see if anything ever comes of it, and try not to obsess over her its not good for you and if she finds out she'll be scared away.

Answer 10

I remember you posting this exact thing before...If it hasn't happened by now you need to find someone else...You need to move on, maybe sometime in the future something can happen. If you push this you will lose, a friend and potential partner...Back off for a will, till she is older...

Answer 11

Sounds like to me she is just trying to let you down easy. I mean, if she was really scared about ruining your frinedship I think she would of spent more time with you instead of trying to avoid you like you said she had. I think that you would probably be better off finding someone else to be with...