My girlfriend and I have been dating since the 8th grade (we're now freshman in college). She told me tonight she wants to see what else is out there and "take a break." I don't know what to do! I used to listen to everyone say things like we were too young to know what love is and all that.
But we grew up together and matured together and have always been there for each other. Over the past year or so I decided this was the girl I wanted to be w/ for the rest of my life and had to marry her one day when I was old enough.
I'm sitting here w/ a sick feeling in my stomach and don't know what to do. I can't talk to her because it makes things worse, and I can't talk to anyone else because I'm just crushed. What do I do?
2006-10-01 15:21:37 · 35 answers · asked by Chris 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you love her set her free. If she loves you, she'll come back.
2006-10-01 15:23:27 · answer #1 · answered by Clock Watcher 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What a tough one this is. I'm sure your heart feels as though it was ripped out of your chest. I think being together for so long has a lot to do with it. 5 years is a long time. In that amount of time, you go through so many changes but now you and your girlfriend are adults, which is also the beginning of a new and different life for the both of you. Breaking up is never easy, and I can almost guarantee that your girlfriend is having a hard time with this as well. After all, she's calling the shots and I know this was difficult to do. But, this doesn't make you feel any better. The best advice I can give you is, time will allow you to heal but you have to let it otherwise you will be still mourning as if it happened yesterday. You have to look at college as a new beginning, new friends, and independence. You will survive this, honest! Everyone has been hurt so my promise to you is this shall pass. The best of luck!
2006-10-01 15:37:56 · answer #2 · answered by CTMEDS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is what you do, you let her go so you move on it will take sometime because love is there no one said stop loving her just try to stop being in love with her. See you wont to spend the rest of your life with her because you only know of her, in time you will get over it and just try to staye friends. Sometimes loving someone is knowing when to let go, she might come back when she finds out aint **** out there. You need to dip in out as well I really think the reason she wont to end it is because she already been sleeping around with someone else. I am sorry you are hurting but you a man and I hope a strong man,so keep your head up and don't go nuts,let her know that you will always love her and hope she'll be happy and you are her friend if nothing more. Just take one day at a time trust me sweetie the light is really at the end of the tunnel and when you reach it life will become new and your mind will be free and open to new things.Your heart will no longer hurt and your soul will feel better,you will be ready for the world. Please whatever you do don't become a hoe most people do after something like that,and don't become a dirty dog,still be you no matter what love is life and life suck sometimes. Keep it together you'll make it ! I know it!
2006-10-01 15:48:10 · answer #3 · answered by Chi-Town wild 100's 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in a difficult place right now. What Others are saying maybe so, but it is all far too painful to think about now. You have been together a very long time. You didn't indicate if You are going to different Schools, but I would guess You are. You have to go through like a processing period of time and thought. Try not to stay there that long. Then it is time to take inventory of who You are, and that You have so much to offer Some One. Everyone has been through something like this, and it is, excuse the terminology - gut reaching. It has shaken Your very foundation. All the more reason to jump deep into Your studies, and join some groups, so that You will be around Others, just try being around Them for a while, and after You feel more like it, start making Friends. Try volunteering some of Your time. Be the great Person You have always planned to be. And Best of Luck...........Something wonderful will happen eventually......
2006-10-01 15:45:06 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey, that is rough!! I hate to say this, but if she is asking for a break, she has met someone that has turned her head. I am sorry, but there really is nothing you can do. If you cannot talk to her because it makes things worse, then possibly your relationship would not have worked out in the long run. A relationship takes a lot of work on both partners' behalf. The most important things to keep a relationship going is trust and communication. If you can't talk about this now, what else will you not be able to discuss if you stay together? How can you trust a person with whom you cannot even communicate?
2006-10-01 15:30:20 · answer #5 · answered by Why's the rum gone? ☺☮♥ ツ♫ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's hard buddy. I went through it a couple of times. One of the times, I was engaged and pregnant. I do have good news for you. I know 4 couples that were high school sweet hearts, and broke up all through college, and then it just worked out that they got back together again. People need to know what is out there before they settle down. Perhaps you will get back together again. Just, for the time being, don't cling to her. Give her her space and remain her friend. At least try to stay in touch...but not too often!! That will drive her away. However, if things do not work out, you will find somebody new, and you will be thankful that you are your girl broke up, because otherwise, you may have never found the real love of your life. You're young. Things will definitely change....many times. REMEMBER that things work out provided that you don't give up and become a druggie or anything like that. You are a freshman in college. There are tons of single gals around. Keep an open mind, and you'll find yourself getting happier quite quickly.
2006-10-01 15:26:53 · answer #6 · answered by jesse s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow man I really feel for you I know how hurt you must feel..........Dang.....If you can find someone and talk to them about what’s going on with you. You’re going to feel like crap for a while but the good part is eventually you’ll get over it (after a while). I wish there were some better way to tell you but just talk it out with good friends and let time go by are the best ways to deal with this. Right now at this exact moment if you can't do anything else and don't have anything important to do .........take a nap you'll feel a little better when you wake up.
2006-10-01 15:31:52 · answer #7 · answered by Bill O 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, I know that horrible feeling, and I'm sorry you have to experience it. I KNOW it hurts right now, and I know your searching for the right answers - I don't want to patronize you and say "it will get better" or "time heals all wounds". But it's true - and you will soon see what I mean. Don't try to win her back, don't try to replace her - just go about your life, KEEP BUSY doing things you love, hanging out with friends. Someone once told me - don't look for love, it will fall into your lap when you least expect it. I am 36 years old and had a similiar situation - dated one guy all through highschool, the year after high school we got engaged (and yes, we got the "your too young" stuff too), shortly after that he cheated on me, said he just wanted to see what it was like with someone else before marrying, but expected me to stay with him. I was so afraid of losing him, I did stay - for a few weeks, and then broke it off. It was VERY hard for the first couple months, I did everything I could think of to get him back, but suddenly others were interested in me - and it felt wonderful! Once he knew I was dating someone else, he suddenly wanted me back - sent flowers, poems, music - you name it. People always want what they can't have. BUT, at that point, I realized, I was better off! I didn't just shut off my feelings - I still wondered what life would have brought if I went back to him. I realized that there were other people out there that I could have feelings for, and many of them treated me a million times better (I didn't know there was a "better" because I had always been with him). All I'm saying is - it's normal to "mourn" the loss of the relationship. She very well may come back to you - BUT, if that happens, you need to remember that she shut you out once, and could do it again. Give yourself time, keep as busy as you can. Don't leave yourself any time to just sit around and think. This could be a GOOD thing - you never know what life has to offer! Keep your chin up!!!!
2006-10-01 15:38:21 · answer #8 · answered by Kristen G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that jones is something else aint it? I've been there, and it's a hard thing to love someone so deeply and they don't feel the same, but listen you can't just keep dwelling on it, because the more you dwell on the situation the more of a problem it becomes for you. youv'e got to pick yourself up, and get envolved in something that will take your mind off of things it may seem impossable at first, but time heals all wounds, and don't get all stressed out. If it was meant to be then she'll be back. I hope what I said was some help.
2006-10-01 15:35:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and relax.I've been in a situation like this before and it's really hard,trust me I know.Give her some space and in a few days tell her how you really feel.Don't push it on her though.She'll want to run away.She just wants to see what else is out there.If she just said ok I'll marry you right now then maybe in a year or two you'll be divorced cause she never got the chance to see what else life had to offer.Just give it some time.I'm sure it'll all work out for the better,mine did.My husband and I have been together now for well.....!0 years next month!Good luck,I wish the best for you.
2006-10-01 15:28:05 · answer #10 · answered by alexff08 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am very sorry to hear this. But also pleased to know that there is a guy out there who is so mature and caring. It would be good to explain how you feel in an email to her. Then give her space and some time to explore a bit of this world. She will come back to you because even she understands that you both grew up together and that cannot be just thrown away. She needs some time and its actually healthy because after marriage she wont accuse you of claustrophobing her world.
2006-10-01 15:26:46 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋