why does my dad hate me!?!?

Question

he moved out when i was like 3 (ten yrs ago).... everytime isee him he says something negative like you need hair cut ( when i just got it cut!),or your too skinny you look sick, etc.. and he hardly sees me too. & i heard him talking on the phone with my mom he said i wish she was never born! but its weird too because when i see him he buys me everything, like he wants me to think he likes me. so does he dislike me or what???????/

Answer 1

one, your dad loves you, and two you dont need to take that from him either. Its odes nothing but make you feel bad. Tell him how you feel, calmly. (trust me been there done that... only i did the screamin part... whatever you do dontttt scream! lol)

tell him you've heard what he's said, that it hurts your feelings. Ask him WHY? and then tell him that if he wants to have a relationship with you then he needs to stop saying those awful things to you. Tell him that money and objects don't buy love and that all you want is to feel like your daddy loves you.
remind him that he's setting the example of what type of traits in a man you'll be looking for later on in life when you decided to get married etc.
he loves you he;'s just too blind to realize that the best thing in the world is his kids.

Answer 2

If I had to guess, I'd say that all that stuff has more to do with his problems than yours. You may not be able to understand all the garbage that can make people act the way they do, but if I were you I would be wondering what he has been through that would make him act like that.
I feel sorry for him, he sounds like a pretty messed up guy. but I would also like to wack him once and tell him that the way he is treating you is just plain wrong. There are probably a whole lot of good responsible dads that would just love to have a daughter like you. If he can't be a reasonable dad to you, you may need to find a respectable man that will be a good father figure for you.
I'm sorry you are having to go through this. Keep your chin up. OK

Answer 3

It's very unfortunate you feel you Father hates you. But I firmly beileve it's the furthest thing from the truth. Maybe your Father didn't have a Father to teach him how to be a loving man as a child. Maybe all he saw was a tough man, never showing any type of emotions. Alot of men make this mistake. They act tough 100% of the time, and fail to teach, and re-assure there son that it's okay to show emotion.

If your not saved, you should seek the comfort that only your Heavenly Father can provide. What your earthly Father lacks, God will provide, and so much more.

Answer 4

Your Dad does not hate you. It is so sad that some people are so unhappy with themselves that they have to make other people feels bad. He buys you all that stuff because he feels guilty and that is the only way he knows how to make himself feel better.
I promise you, it is not you! You just have to ignore those comments and know that he is very unhappy. I know that is hard because he is your Dad but deep down he really doesn't mean it.
It is very important that you like you for who you are. ou are at a very young and vulnerable age and his saying those negative things to you and about you could make you have low self esteem. Ignore what he says and find good things about yourself to give yourself positive reinforcement.
Make a list of all the good things about you and accentuate the positive. You sound like a nice person and start with that one.
I am sorry to hear about that sweetie. Talk to your Mom and try to get some encouragement from her too. Hang in there and know that God loves you!

Answer 5

From what you say, he does love you. He is just unable to relate to you properly. Men have a very hard time with emotion and usually "buy" their way out of it with things or in some other way. They also feel embarrassment more and it makes him unable to untangle his feelings regarding leaving you. You did not do, say, or even think anything that split your parents up. That was their affair. He probably does resent giving your mother money toward your support in a material way, but the fact that he buys you things shows that he does not blame you. The remark about not being born was just anger and frustration. Not very good that it was said where you could hear it, but, he still shows his love in material ways. The best way to make the relationship better is to be open and honest with him. If asks where to eat - name your favorite place. If he asks what should we do - name what you would like to do. Speak up with honest clarity and avoid the "I don't care" response. Even if you have to say How about hardees or subway to give him a choice, speak up. He does love you and just need some assurance that you can relate to him directly. Speaking out honestly will give him that assurance. I hope this helps.

Answer 6

This is tough, I know. First of all, he's probably dealing with a lot of guilt...Secondly, sometimes our parents just aren't what they should be to us and it hurts. We have to deal with those feelings and realize that he's the one with the problem, not you...it's not your fault! He's the one missing out, just remember that.

Counseling is a good way to sort out your feelings and learn to move on from them. It may take time, but you will learn that you are worthy of love and acceptance from a good man. Please don't get caught in the trap so many of us women do where we end up marrying men just like our deadbeat dads. You can break the cycle.

REMEMBER....IT'S NOT YOU!

Answer 7

Okay here's my opinion from what you posted.

You dad, doesn't know how to show love. He does love you but he doesn't know how to show it. He's mean to you verbally right? I think he has a lot of pinned up anger about something else and he says things he doesn't mean. He buys you things because he does care for you and that is the only way he knows how to show it too you.

Good thing you don't live with him. I know how much it could affect a person.

Answer 8

I feel the same way as you do and its tough mine does the same sort of things always had since he left when i was 2 and im 19 now but my dad dont bu tme anything never has unless is was a b-day or christmas so i feel 4 you

Answer 9

If your Mom is whacking him for some big child support, he is resentful. He has feelings which he is expressing in a negative manner, toward you. He then buys things for you to compensate for his guilt feelings over his other feelings. No matter what he says, remember that you are a valuable person to yourself. It would be very easy to become depressed, but don't. Hang in and feel good that you are you.

Answer 10

It seems like he is not emotionally attached to you but he tries to compensate by buying you things. It's exactly what you said, he wants you to think he likes you.

It's not you, it's him. Unfortunately he is not ready to be a father. Hopefully you can find some good adult male role models in your life such as uncles, teachers, etc. Ask your mother if you can see less of your dad.