I avoided him all during high school & college. He is mostly verbally abusive but when he senses he's losing a fight he will throw chairs, punch me, spit on me, etc.
The thing is he always is there to loan me money if I need it (I guess that's his form of love, because he never tells me he loves me) & he tries to make me feel guilty by saying I'm his "everything" and "you're all I've got", etc.
Is this just a trick that he is trying to manipulate me with?
I only communicate via email with him. Is this a bad thing? I have actually stopped taking my prescription for migraines & anxiety (MD said I could) since I've stopped visiting him or talking on the phones (his voice can almost give me a panic attack).
So is it ok that I only see him1x or 2x a year (preferably in public?)
and only write?
writing is so much better, because you can always escape & no fighting, nit picking, belittling etc.
help! what do you think?
2006-10-01 12:45:20 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
YOU ARE SOOO HANDLING HIM THE RIGHT WAY!!!!!
Your Dad has a problem that has nothing to do with you. He treats you badly, then tries to buy your love with money. I think a shrink would say that he has self loathing (He hates himself).
People like that lash out at others because they are unhappy, depressed and ashamed of themselves. He needs to see a doctor and get some medication for his anger but he probably won't.
You are doing the right thing by not seeing him. Don't feel guilty. He's toxic and dangerous to you. All you can do is love him from a safe distance, and try to encourage him to get help.
He could do great harm to you either physically or mentally. You don't need that. And don't be surprised if you have anger issues yourself --especially after he dies. You will grow to resent him for treating you the way he did. When this happens, get help for yourself and do not feel guilty. Its not your fault.
If you need to-- see him once or twice a year in a safe public place, but if he starts acting like a jerk--just leave.
You might also want to refuse his money. Tell him you'd rather have his respect and love, rather than his money.
2006-10-01 13:04:49 · answer #1 · answered by middle sista 1 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Sweety, to say you need to stay away from him altogether.I know how you feel and with ur parent hurting u like this is not a good feeling,I was emotionally,verbally,physically,and he even did things to me that I've told no one except my husband and I'm sorry it had to happen to people like us.My dad tried bribing me with money which didn't work but I'm fine now and he's now a sex offender who's doing well so good luck.
2006-10-01 12:58:36 · answer #2 · answered by Sister Queen Mama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he were a stranger, what would you do?
You think it's necessary to even see him because he provided his sperm to your mother's egg?
If you keep doing the same thing (going back to him for money), what makes you think he's going to change?
He's a criminal. Stay away from him.
2006-10-01 13:10:52 · answer #3 · answered by asperens 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is a verry good thing thate you are not talking to him he is a verry negitive person and he will just be getting badder i would like to give you a free reading if you would like to email me at lovepsychiccharlotte@yahoo.com
2006-10-01 12:49:40 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it's not your fault at all! he need help please call the police and family explain your problems with your father! please live with someone else!
2006-10-01 12:58:54 · answer #5 · answered by crystal e 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋