ok i'm really depressed...? plz answer politely, i'm not in the mood for BS now?

Question

ok back when i was little i had the classic parent divorce thing that messed me up pretty good...then my dad was proving he's not much of a dad and that REALLY affected me for the worse...and pretty much everything that had meaning to me ripped away...and thats just keeping it barely simplified, moving along now... then like a couple years ago i had a newer father figure come into my life and i really looked up to him and i pretty much fully recovered from all the BS that my dad put my thru, and i was really happy - he did a lot for me and he was someone i could talk with and relate with from all the BS that happens at school, but then...him and my mom broke up, and we moved out of his house, and they're like anything but friends (they could be but there are certain ppl keeping them from being friends) and so i've like completely lost contact with him... and so pretty much almost everything that has meaning to me has once again been ripped away...plz c add. details, out of room

and so now i've just been super sad...i was really good friends with his son, we were like brothers, and now we barely even talk anymore or anything, and all this crap has just really been bringing me down...i dont know what to do...what would you do? i just really cant move on because i really dont want to get close with some1 and look up to em, but then have them pass out of my life...and i dont want another father figure cuz that would probably just bring back memories...idk...if u can, if u can help me i mean, maybe try listening to these songs: "freak on a leash" by korn, "alone i break" by korn, "dissolve and decay" by hawthorne heights, and "life on standby" by hawthorne heights...i can relate to them...the message isn't litteral, the hawthorne heights songs are about girls, but i guess everybody can relate to sumthing in tons of different ways...i guess my way to those songs would be my story that i told you...any advice? like what should i do?

Answer 1

i'm so sorry but always remember your mom is forever. this could be a very special time for the two of you to connect. why dont u suggest something the two of you could do. and talk to her. it might seem far fetched but your mom might help more than u think. remeber there is family that stays always.

Answer 2

When we have an expectation that isn't achieved, that is crushing. Go back to look at your expectations from your dad now that your older. Look at him, not as you would have as an idealistic kid, but now that you are older, see if his failures as a human being are more tolerable.

It's dammed hard to do, but that may help put other things into the right type of light.

You may want to check out people to talk to. Not only can they help you get over this mess, but it may help drag your mom into asking for help as well. I bet she is going through a heap she can't talk to you about. Your step in that direction may nudge her thinking the right way too. She could then be on your side to make friends with your step family again.

If nothing happens too quickly, at least send Halloween or Christmas cards (or whatever) to those that you want to get along better with.

www.greeting-cards.com/

This might help you get started.

Good luck, mate

Answer 3

The first thing you need to do is understand that none of this is your fault, people are responsible for their own actions. Therefore, you are responsible for yours. Your mom is trying to find her path and you need to do the same without becoming separated from your mom. Seek out new friends as she will do and share that with her.
Don't hide from what you feel, talk to your mom. There is no blame here, no reason to be angry because people are sometimes not meant to be together. Your sorrow can easily be changed into happiness if you allow yourself to feel happy. Once you do that, then taking risks by getting close to people will not be so scary. Good luck !

Answer 4

...people are in our lives for
a season
a reason
or
a lifetime.
The second man was able to help you deal with the BS and help you to see that you are worthy of a father's love.
But...the season has passed.
Don't lose the lesson that you were so blessed to have learned. Take it and move on. You become stronger and learn more about yourself the longer you're here.
People are never permanent in our lives.
Mourn the Fantasy of what you think you Should have had. Allow yourself to grieve and then pull yourself up and refuse to be a victim. what happened...happened.
Keep a positive attitude and endure.
You can do this!

Good luck sweetie :)

Answer 5

I have been though a very very similar thing-- very similar! This is probably not what you want to hear, and I mean this in a completely nice, non assholey way possible-but you just need to work on just getting over it and moving on. I mean, you could dwell on this and it will drag you down for the rest of your life, or just accept that this is how it went and how it's going to be, and just accept it and move on. This is what I am doing and it's working great, I'm not on any medications or anything. Think about it this way, too: it's their loss. Good luck. :)

Answer 6

I wish i could help honest to god i do! But i cant seem to handle my own issues, my parents got divorced when i was lil, and from that, he would still be around but then when i was six i saw less and less of him, im now finna turn sixteen and im lucky if i even get a phone call, he disappears outta town, doesnt call, comes back to town, still no call, and no effort to see his daughter, my mom hasnt remarried so i had no type of a father figure ten years of my life, i sorta know wut u goin through, best i can say is try to hang in there, the way i deal wit pain is i keep a journal and write poetry i also sing. these are jus a couple of stress relievers. well im sorry for wut u goin tru if u eva wanna chat a friend to go to feel free to email me at [e-mail] i'll be there!!! SOOOOOOO SORRY SWEETIE!!!! Keep yo head up!!!!

Answer 7

stop listening to these songs. they can make you more sad. i was like you and listening to these songs reassured my depression. try walking. you wanna talk try me [e-mail]. sadness is a friend that visits me everyday. try looking at the bright sides. list 10 things that are positive about you. call 1800 lifenet if things get worst. i have a poem for you.

the days are long and depressing
but your mind has its blessings
thru this f--king stressings
life gives us a choice
we must listen to our voice
love really is ours
but do we really devour the hours
of living to be whole
or do we cherish the cold
cuz out of all the b.s.
comes a light to give us rest
and take us under it's vest
so never give up
and always stay up

Answer 8

You don't say how old you are, but it sounds as if you are having a really difficult time. If you are still in school, talk to your school councilor. You can also call your area's mental health dept. and ask for assistance. There may be a support group in your area. Hold on. You can make it. Good Luck.

Answer 9

It's sad that happened to you. Your mother and step father still should have allowed you to continue the relationship you had with him and his son. Things will get better one day. Just be prepaired the next time your mother gets into a relationship, the same thing might happen again.

Answer 10

Why don't you contact this boy and be friends with him. Just because your parents broke up doesn't mean your friendship has to break up. Talk to your guidance counselor and see what she/he can offer you. Sounds like some counseling could be good for you. Someone to talk to so you can get things off your chest. It's good therapy.