My brother died on my birthday last year and now i'm wishing it was me i don't know what to do i was in the car accident with him and i cry myself to sleep every night as we were really close i also have really bad dreams about the acciedent what should i do?
2006-10-01 11:53:39 · 19 answers · asked by Sad 'n' Sorry 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
What does sd mean?
2006-10-01 11:56:39 · update #1
the thing is i'm by myself i'm adopted and he is was the on;y biological family i had left i have friends but they think that i should just get over it but it's not as easy as it sounds
2006-10-01 12:01:56 · update #2
I have been to councelling and to a therepist and all but they just made me more upset
2006-10-01 12:07:19 · update #3
I know u would switch spots with him in a heartbeat, but ur family needs u NOW more than ever. Be strong, as what does not kill us makes us stronger. I am sorry for ur loss. Its ok to wish that,.... as u were extremely close to him. Its ok to talk about him,.... u know what? You should write in ur additional details the way HE LIVED. How was he? How old was he?
2006-10-01 11:55:43 · answer #1 · answered by Photographer 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for your loss He sounds like a really great person. Death is never easy to come to terms with. I've also lost friends and family over the years but the best advice I ever got was this: love them, cry for them, let them go, but never forget them. Silly as that sounds it works if you let it.But NEVER wish you die and they live. That means you would rather let them suffer to free yourself of the pain than deal with it yourself and thats selfish. I take it that this happened recently and your dreams are probably the accident repeating or maybe you doing something different or moving faster to save them so it ends with them still alive then you wake up and realise that they are still gone so it hurts even more. I have found that once you accept whats happened it gets better slowly but it does. Try this for starters when you speak of him smile and speak of him with pride that you were his sister and before you go to sleep close your eyes and see a fun moment the two of you shared and not the accident. really corny I know but it has helped me many times. And above all learn from it so it doesn't happen to you. Just be gentle with yourself, talk with friends and family, and try to accept life as a gift. Once again I'm sorry for what has happened.
2006-10-01 20:13:34 · answer #2 · answered by evil Hesh 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hopefully your family and friends are supporting you through this and you need to get a professional that can truly help. Perhaps even your clergy if you have one. Also, consider seeking out support groups in your area. When you feel yourself getting sad, remember all the laughs and good times you guys shared. All the things that made you two so close and remember that he loved you and would never want to see you so heartbroken.
I do wish you the best. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
2006-10-01 19:20:52 · answer #3 · answered by curious51867 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to someone right away. It is normal that you would feel guilty and sad and cry, as well as have bad dreams...I can't imagine what I would do if I were to loose my brother that way...but I am sure that he would not want you to wish yourself away, or spend your life crying. Talk to your parents, your priest, a counselor at school. Try a support group...but get out there and talk. There are many others out there that know what you are going through and can help you. I wish you peace and happiness...
2006-10-01 18:59:07 · answer #4 · answered by Barbiq 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a sad thing this must be for you. However, your brother would not want you to continue to be sad for him. It's normal for you to miss him and have bad dreams for awhile. It's also normal for you to come to the point where you can remember how close the two of you were and to begin to remember the good times and accept what has happened and celebrate his life and the years you had together.
2006-10-01 18:58:46 · answer #5 · answered by missingora 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
therapy is not a quick fix. its always upsetting in the beginning while you are going through this grief process but stick with it. the therapy will eventually allow you to put things into perspective and rid you of the nightmares but you have to talk your feelings out and resolve them so they dont overwhelm you. stay with the therapy, when you reach the anger stage, you will soon be free of the depression and guilt feelings and will be able to forgive yourself for your perceived guilt. know that when you are healed, the many good memories that you and your brother shared will prevail and you will be able to talk about him with love.
one way to help yourself is to write your brother a letter. this will allow you to get your thoughts and feelings out on paper and may help you to achieve some kind of closure to say goodbye to him.
2006-10-01 19:14:40 · answer #6 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother would want you to live your life and not feel guilty.
Everyone has an appointed time it was not yours yet. Seek and find Gods plan for your life in a Bible teaching Christian Church.
I'm so sorry that you had such an experience, but know that God loves you!
2006-10-01 19:02:13 · answer #7 · answered by yourdayscoming 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is really tragic, you need to accept the idea that you survived for a reason, and live you life accordingly, let every sunrise be that much brighter and every meal taste that much better, go out of your way to help people, persue your innermost desires, become in your life exactly what you want, not what is sensible and make your brother proud that you lived your live like a champ, because he is watching you and wants what is best for you
2006-10-01 18:58:49 · answer #8 · answered by ninja cat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
seek suport from friends and family. Don't keep your feelings bottlled inside. Try to find simple things in life that give you enjoyment and take it day by day. Think about how your brother would feel seeing you this way. Would he want you to be happy? Of course he would. Best of luck.
2006-10-01 18:57:25 · answer #9 · answered by sup 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are experiencing "guilt grief",,, this is when just as in your case you were both together but it was him instead of you,,,if it would be the other way around,
your brother would be feeling what you are... Please get some grief counseling, see a therapist,,, a grief support group....Please don't laugh, but plant a tree, or a beautiful plant in his memory, and love it and tend to it and talk to it...just as if it were him...it helps--alot.
2006-10-01 19:05:51 · answer #10 · answered by angeleyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋