If you do please type them because i need to tell my freinds some really good jokes
2006-10-01 11:41:02 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A guy was playing golf one day and he got lost. He saw a lady up
ahead of him and went to her and said, "Can you please help me, I don't know what hole I'm on".
She told him "You are one hole behind me. I'm on 7; you're on 6."
He thanked her & continued playing golf. Later he got lost again.
He saw the same lady and went to her again kind of embarrassed.
"I'm sorry to bother you again but I'm lost again, can you please
tell me what hole I'm on."
Lady : You are one hole behind me. I'm on 14; you are on 13.
Again he thanked her and continued playing golf.
When he finished he saw her in the clubhouse. He went up to her
and asked if he could buy her a drink for helping him out. She accepted.
As they were drinking & talking he asked her what she did for a
living.
"I'm in sales."
He replied, "no kidding so am I. What do you sell?"
Lady : It's too embarrassing to tell.
But after he kept pleading to know what she sold she said she'd tell him if
he promised not to laugh. He promised.
Lady : I sell WHISPER (Sanitary Napkins).
He immediately fell to the floor laughing hysterically.
Lady : You promised you wouldn't laugh.
He replied, "I'm sorry, but I couldn't help it. I sell toilet paper... I'm still one hole behind you."
2006-10-04 05:48:36 · answer #1 · answered by giko 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Joke: Three blode women were on a plane and one took a bite of the apple and threw it out of the window, the other one bit a bannana and threw it out of the window, and the last one took a bite out of a grenade and through it out of the window. Once they landed, they found a girl crying... so they asked " little girl, little girl, why are you crying?" She answered " An apple came out of the sky and killed my cat. So the three ladies went walking again and they found a boy crying ao they asked, " little boy, little boy why are you crying?" The boy answered " A banna came out of the sky and killed my dog!" So the three blondes went walking again and found another blonde laughing. So they asked, " Why are you laughing?" She answered " I farted and the building blew up behind me!!!!!!!"
Riddle:
If there are are 10 birds in a tree and you shot one of them, how many are left?
Audience answer: 9 birds.
REAL answer: 0 because if you shoot one bird the rest flies away.
2006-10-01 11:54:09 · answer #2 · answered by Flametrooper 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Joke#1 : Nothing is really foolproof for a sufficiently talented fool.
Joke #2: If at first you don't succeed, skydiving may not be for you.
2006-10-01 12:00:49 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
A cop pulled over a car for swerving all over the road. The blonde at the wheel looked very confused and scared.
"What's going on here, ma'am?"
"Well, I was driving along when all of a sudden there was a tree right in my path. I swerved to miss it, but there was another tree. And after that, another, and another."
The cop looked inside her car and sighed.
"Ma'am. That's your air freshener."
2006-10-01 14:25:37 · answer #4 · answered by summerbrze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning, "I need a man, I need a man!"
Over the next couple of months, he saw her doing this several times.
One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning. When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.
Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, started stroking himself, and moaning, "Ohh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"
2006-10-01 11:51:04 · answer #5 · answered by Raven 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
U love someone
U marry someone else.
The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband.
And the one u loved becomes the password of ur mail id”
———— —
There’s only one perfect child in the world & every mother has it.
There’s only one perfect wife in the world & every neighbour has it.
———— —
If someone says u r ugly, its ok, if someone says u r stupid, its ok,
If someone says u r a genius slap him as tight as you can cos there is limit of kidding n someone just crossed it.
———— —
Three dreams of a man:
To be as handsome as his mother thinks.
To be as rich as his child believes.
To have as many women as his wife suspects…
———— —
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney. Husband is the liver & wife the kidney.
If the liver fails, the kidney fails. If the kidney fails, the liver manages with other kidney.
———— —
Generation Next Motto: Na hum shaadi karenge, na apne bachchon ko karne denge.
———— —
What’s the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like a girlfriend, that comes with an expiry date and
Daru is like a wife, Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
———— —
Wife ko Begum kyon kehte hain?
Kyonki shaadi ke baad saare gum to husband ke hisse mein aate hain or wife Be-Gum ho jaati hai.
———— —
The Japanese have produced a camera that has such a fast shutter speed it can take a picture of a woman with her mouth shut!
2006-10-01 11:55:37 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
your hyperlink is out of wack, it offers distinct jokes everytmd so i consider the persons don't seem to be getting the funny story you consider is humorous replica and paste it, then cite it, supply credit score to had been they're due
2016-08-29 09:33:57 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
y did the monkey fall out of the tree?
because it was dead.
heard that on the Proud Family and laughed so hard i cried. It is purposely bad, that's what makes it funny
2006-10-01 11:44:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋