How do I get my husband to do any **7^%% work around the house?

Answer 1

Well, men learn by example. I would suggest that for now you do what he does. If he comes home, dumps his things on the floor and camps out in front of the TV, do the same thing. Be in the same room he is. a) He will think it strange that you are there instead of doing whatever it is you do. He has no clue what you do, he'll just wonder. b) Eventually he's going to get hungry. You, on the other hand, ate after work. The kids will start with "When's dinner?" and he'll say, "Yeah, hon, when's dinner?" and you say, "Well, I'm not really hungry but feel free to fix something for yourself and the kids." and sit there.

Sit when he sits, work when he's working.

You're gonna get, "Mom, I don't have any clean clothes..."
Say, "Oh, honey, I'm sorry, I'm just spending some down time with Dad." He's not going to offer to do it. He's gonna start to get confused. .... If he asks aren't you going to do the laundry, say no, you're going to sit with him.

If the kids need to be put to bed, sit there as long as he's comfortable. When he asks if you are going to put Johnny to bed say, "No, I thought it would be nice if you did it tonight." and automatically do it the next night if he follows through. Keep alternating.

Continue to associate what you do with what he does. "I think I can get the bathroom and our bedroom cleaned while you cook dinner. I'll just finish what isn't done while you're cleaning up."

Practice your lines. Be specific. Don't expect that he is going to get it real quick. Phrase your words so that he has to specifically say, "No, I won't do that." In order to refuse. No fair criticizing the way he gets it done. He's not going to fold or do dishes or even mop the right way.
When you sit with him again, say, "That was great. Now I can sit with you!"

This should work with the kids, too. "Hey Joey, Dad's cooking dinner and I'm gonna clean the bathroom. Lets turn the TV off and you can clean your room while we're all up."

Eventually you will have to sit at the table with him and a thorough list of chores and tell him that you have so enjoyed spending time with him but maybe you guys need to get up and take care of some things sometimes. Say, "I can do dinner if you can get Suzie's jeans washed and a load of towels done. Of course, laundry needs to be dried, folded and put away, so I guess if you're doing that I can just do the dishes. Then I can meet you in front of the TV at 8." and, "I can get the bills done while you are mowing the lawn Saturday. Then we can hang out together."

Sit with him at a regular time every week, Saturday mornings, whenever. Bring the list of chores and break it down for him. " I can do the shopping if you take Suzie to the dentist. Then we can order a pizza and watch that show at 8." Any kids old enough to do chores need to be included, "Hon, while Dad and I are doing this, You need to get your room done and the trash taken out. Then we can all watch that show at 8 together."


Normally I am all for a much more direct approach. However, when it comes to men and chores, I find they have such a blind spot that they can only see what they are not doing if their behavior is being mimicked. This method of teaching seems to be subtle and non confrontational and should not start arguements.

You are about to teach Home and Careers 101. Your teacher did not yell or belittle you. She just expected you to follow through. Do not react to his behaviors. Breathe deep, stay calm and respond. Respond, not react. Lovingly, Be the Teacher

Answer 2

Use a shotgun. LoL. Just kidding. Now that we have lightened it up a little bit, stop doing for him. He is waiting on you to do whatever it is that needs to be done. don't do it. I suggested this to my sister because she had the same problem. Guess what, it worked. She stopped cooking, cleaning, shopping and doing his laundry. If he wanted anything cooked or cleaned, then he was going to have to do it himself. He crumbled after three days. I'm not sure if it was because she hid the clean laundry of if it was because he couldn't cook to save his life. Perhaps, you should try it. When he decides that he can't take it anymore, then compromise, i.e., I'll cook dinner if you clean the bathroom, etc. Hope it works.

Answer 3

My ex wife would threaten not to put out! But it's not because I was not mowing the lawn, taking out the garbage, fixing things that are broke, taking care of the cars, caring for the kids, or taking care of the landscaping. It's because I would not do the laundry, or get a high paying job that pays more than $20.00 an hour! I suggest you use sex if that doesn't work do what my ex wife did. Threaten divorce on his as@!

Answer 4

I know this one. Works every time! When you want him to do something, tell him that you were going to ask him to (whatever the task is) but knew he couldn't. It's way too hard, way too complicated, way too difficult. "You'll probably have to hire someone!!!" He'll rise to the challenge and get it right done. If you just want tasks done like laundry, cooking...good luck. Save this ploy for the BIG stuff. And, at least you'll get relief from big jobs...

Answer 5

in case you have hypersensitive reactions, get a solid vacuum that would not spit out all varieties of crap in the process the filter out,and according to probability you are able to placed on a surgical mask? Take your hypersensitivity drugs on the days you will desire to vacuum? basically a tenet, now on on your question. it is not had to have a perfect homestead, and you have young ones. i'm constructive you do the superb you are able to and which you do not stay in airborne dirt and dust. in case you prefer your guy to do issues for you, then continually make lists for him.. according to probability as quickly as each and every few days or so. recent him along with his record. considering the fact which you're homestead each and every of the time, and he is going to paintings and school on an identical time, then there rather desires to be a healthful stability and awareness approximately what your functionality interior the marriage is at the instant on your lives, and what his functionality is. have you ever reported this in any respect? It could not harm. collectively as i raised 2 young ones and had husbands, i understand adult men do not oftentimes arise and commence cleansing without being asked or prodded... yet i by no potential based the cost of my relationship on the quantity of housekeeping the guy did. As for spending extra time with the two and 3 year previous, according to probability there is a few thing you are able to all do as a kin as quickly as a week? This time of year, you will desire to all circulate see Santa, or to a Christmas teach or play for toddlers. tension around for a collectively as one night and seem at Christmas lights fixtures collectively. you will desire to circulate to a baby's park (climate allowing), the sea coast, on a picnic, and so on. whether it rather is junky nutrition, take each and every physique to ChuckECheese (spelling?) as quickly as the toddlers become previous, it is going to be extra handy to discover kin events to do. i understand that with toddlers, it rather is slightly constrained.

Answer 6

Hire someone else to do it, tell him when to expect them, tell them to send him the bill, then go shopping or to the playground with your kids or out with friends while the work is being done. He'll come around, unless you are wealthy. Then, who cares.

Answer 7

Start doing what you want him to do in the house naked. When he sees you, he'll probably come over and start messing with you. Ask him to help you and you can get done faster and go play.

Answer 8

If you both work, it should be 50/50.If he does and you don't, your chances are pretty slim.
Ask his Mom, because it's her fault for spoiling him and make darn sure you teach your boys how to do house work, right from start.

Answer 9

A hammer through the tv got mine's attention. After that we talked and worked it out.

Answer 10

You mean you didn't marry him because among his many great qualities, he also proved himself to be extremely handy, energetic and generally useful in dealing with everything that needed looking after? You married the lazy, fricken bastard. He can't be fixed now.