Yes, I asked a question earlier and about 70% of the people told me that I should talk to a doctor for pills. YEAH RIGHT!! I don't need pills, I need advice and time. I need a hobby and things to do. But it seems everything I do reminds me of my dad. My dad and I had the most wonderful relationship anyone could have I think. Then 5 years ago he got diagnosed with brain cancer. You know when you're little and you think your daddy is the strongest man in the world? Well that sort of stuck with me. I think he was. One time when I was little, I got scared and went into my parents' room and slept in the middle. In the morning I woke up on top of my dad's stomach listening to his heart beat. When he went to the hospital for the last time, I listened to his heart beat. An instant flashback. A few days later he passed. When he was gone, I went in his room and layed my head on his chest and cried when I heard no beat. I'm SO hearbroken!!!
2006-10-01 10:03:20 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I am so sorry for your loss. I know that it can be very painful as I found my father dead in the house when I was 18.....and it's been 25 years and it still hurts.
I would start off with some grief counseling. Talking to someone about it who didn't know you, your father or any other family member might be very helpful. It's always good to talk about the things that bother you, hurt you, trouble you, etc.
You definately don't need pills. Everyone seems to think that if there is something wrong you need to pop a pill. Too bad they don't really make the "cure all pill" that fixes everything. If only it were that simple. You definately need to talk with a grief counseling, even talking to friends and family can help as well. Maybe volunteer, later on, at the local community center, seniors rest home, child day care center, soup kitchen, etc. Just something to keep your mind busy.
Crying about it does help, and if you need to cry go ahead and do it! Crying can do a world of wonder!
Again, I'm so sorry for your loss. Just take it one day at a time.
2006-10-01 10:10:44 · answer #1 · answered by ♥Me-Just Me♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey. Well first up i would like to apologize for your loss. Losing someone is hard. My grandpar died a month after i was born when my dad was 22 and then my mum died when i was only five so i have a slight understanding on how you feel. Anyway back to you. loosing someone is hard and im not suprised ure doing what ure doing because ure going through a rough time. so i really think you just need to take a break get away and maybe consider a holiday. When a time like this occurs then i think its best you have all the support and advice you can get. With your boy friend there is not much i can say maybe if you apologize to him hell understand especially now ure dad has just died cause its not easy. Maybe as a suggestion try apologizing to him, but thats only a suggestiong. As for anti depressenats i dont think they are like people make them out to be recently my dad has been on them cause hes going through a rough time hes been on them and there pretty good, maybe you should ask your doctor after all he is your doctor, hope that help once again im sorry for you loss God bless and stay safe.
2016-03-27 01:10:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No one can really tell you how to grieve. Everyone does it differently. You sound like you and your dad had (have) a great bond and a great relationship. No matter when he passed, you would feel the same way. I am an experienced Soldier and cried like a two year old when my Mom passed (in front of people). You have to look at what you and he shared and what would make him the most proud of you and what YOU would want to do to make him proud and do it. It might sound, cliche', but I think, based on what you have written, that he would want you to be as successful and happy as possible. Take something that reminds you of him and keep it with you. As you take each step in your life and hit milestones, talk to him in your own way and let him know he is still in your heart. Don't let his passing stop you from going on or change the person that he loves. That is not what he would want. Medicine is not the answer for everything. If you are like me, I don't even like taking Tylenol, if I don't have to. He is watching. Remember him in your way, live your life and make him proud.
2006-10-01 10:12:49 · answer #3 · answered by T-squared 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Grief has several different levels. You're on the first one right now. Sure it's hard. Sure it hurts - but I can tell you right now that you had an amazing God right there with you and your father in the hospital room and you have an amazing God right there with you right now who's protecting, providing and going to see you through. Just like your dad, God has a call for your life. Plans for your life. Plans to give you a hope and a future. He promised us that in Jeremiah 29:11. He is close to the brokenhearted so my prayer for you is that you draw near to God right now so that He might heal the hurt that you have - which will take much time. Just like the other folks said, celebrate the joy of his life.
Song of Solomon 5:2 says,
"I slept but my heart was awake."
In your busiest moments your heart can be alert and attentive to the voice of the Lord. Even in the night your heart can be awake, quietly tuned to His loving words of hope and assurance.
Be Blessed my friend,
Be strong....
God's grace and mercy are new each morning.
2006-10-01 10:16:58 · answer #4 · answered by skevans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will be heartbroken..maybe for a long time too..that is the grieving process and the length of it depends on the individual.
If you go to the Dr for a check up , just to make sure that you are ok , he will give you some advice on support groups for people who have lost a loved one.
The best thing to know is that your dad is now at peace and out of pain. He wouldn't want you to be so sad for him and he would want you to get on with your life and keep him safe inside your heart. It is a very hard road you are on beware of the pitfalls and seek help and support because it really can help so much to talk to people who are going through what you are going through.
Good luck
2006-10-01 10:10:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try keeping a journal of your feelings. Maybe an unpublished blog. This is a good way to get all of your feelings out and off of your chest.
Another good self therapy technique is to go for a looong walk with no music or other distractions. Try to get out of the city if you are in one and go to a deserted path in the woods or in another place with lots of nature. After a couple miles you should notice that you turn inside of yourself and your inner voice becomes really clear and thoughts flow freely. Here you can mourn, think of what you would like to tell your dad if he could hear you or just contemplate your feelings in general.
One last bit of advice is to find a support group for young people who have lost a parent. It all depends whether you feel better around other people or just all by yourself.
Sorry about your loss.
2006-10-01 10:20:54 · answer #6 · answered by gowanstl24 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am really sorry to hear about your dad!!! He he had to be one of the most important people in your life! U should maybe take up a hobby that u really like and see how that works for you...sometimes taking anti-depressant meds can make u feel worse not better! Or u could im me and become good friends... my email address is tweetyinblue2006@yahoo.com....i'm on right now!
2006-10-01 10:09:08 · answer #7 · answered by hot_mama 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal to be sad. It is also normal that some day everyone will die. Remember all the good times you shared together and be strong for him. Make him your martyr and succeed in life with his strength inside you. You will be fine. It takes some time to get over losing a parent so don't think something is wrong if you still cry about it even years later. Take care.
2006-10-01 10:09:07 · answer #8 · answered by tko43078 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened. Be glad you had experiences with your father your never going to forget. Pick up some hobbys that take a lot of time. Ride a motorcycle, learn something new. Its ok to cry; you just lost a man who has always been with you, and has never let you down. you just lost the only man you could ever completely trust in; its natural to cry. just dont let it get to you too hard, your dad would want you to be happy.
2006-10-01 10:09:53 · answer #9 · answered by Guilty1990 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've really made me think of how awful life is going to be when my dad passes on... I know this isn't much coming from someone who has never lost an immediate relative, but... no matter how hard life gets, the show must go on. Move on, your father is watching over you and loves you dearly.
2006-10-01 10:13:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋