Why do i worry so much ?

Question

Hi i worry all the time but not about myself about other people like family members, but even when there not particulary worried im really worried and it gets really bad, when i cant do nothing to help. Im just a nervous wreck sometimes i know when something bad is going to happen and it does it weird. But i just cant help worrying.

Hi i have been to the doctors but he never gave me nothing just kept asking is every ok but its fine its just me. I dont think a counseller will help.

Answer 1

I know what you mean. I have a similar thing. I worry that something bad might happen to the people I love and I can get quite anxious about it sometimes.

I have got better over the years though. I think it was worst when I had just left university and was properly on my own for the first time, fending for myself in the big wide world. I can't gauge how bad is it for you but, if it's affecting the way you live your life it may be an idea to talk to someone about it? Perhaps your GP could refer you to a counsellor or something?

I think what helped me was knowing that other people have similar feelings and everyone deals with them differently, by either suppressing them, not worrying or overly worrying about them!

Perhaps think of it from your family's point of view - wouldn't they be upset to know that your worrying about them is making you a nervous wreck?! Please don't let this get bigger than it needs to be. You KNOW the people you love take care of themselves, you KNOW that they know (!) that you love them. Anything more is just life and must be taken as it comes.

Take care and enjoy your life! x

Answer 2

It is natural to have concern for others. However, it seems that your perspective and sense of self are not in balance.
When you worry, how often do these things actually happen and are the consequences as bad as you fear?
Some things come to us all, such as death and the common cold. Others just happen in life - relationships, work, money etc.
There are things we can do something about even though it may take courage to deal with them and then there are things we cannot do anything about. In which case, all we can do is prepare for them to happen.

You can't stop it raining but you can use an umbrella or get out of the rain...

Also, people are people and they have to make their own mistakes and successes. As a parent, I know that my children will do things their own way and sometimes I must let them do it, even when I know the outcome may not be good. sometime you have to let go and let things take their own course.

I suspect that there is a background to your worry that you have not told us here. That is the thing that you need to come to terms with in your own mind.

You can't fight everyone's battles, you can't worry about everything. Choose the things you need to deal with and focus on those. With every little victory, you will find many or the things you are worried about will resolve themselves but you will also become better able to deal with them.

Worry is negative and drains your energy. Action is positive, even if your action is to do nothing. But once you have decided what you are going to do, do it and then focus on something else.

Good luck!

Answer 3

It sounds like you have alot of anxiety,and alot of it can be pevented, I take an anxiety pill called lorezapam one in the morning and one at bedtime. I have had a lot of the same problems your are experiencing worrying about everything and everyone in my family, some worry is normal, but if it gets so bad thats all you do, that is very dibilitating and miserable get help talk to your doctor or friend about this you may also need a counselors help.sometime when your mind runs it is covering up for other things that are bothering you. I have social anxiety alot and i am working through that so we all have some form of this, I hope you seek help and get to feeling better. goodluck. Kelly B

Answer 4

I'm natural worrier too. So is my mother - and so was her mother. We all grew up with mothers who worried and thought very negatively, and so we learnt the same habit. There are all kinds of reasons why people learn to think this way, but ultimately it doesn't matter why. the important thing is that you can *learn* to think differently.

This is very important, because negative, worrying thinking does lead to problems. It's a major indicator for depression, also anxiety, and sometimes real breakdown.

But don't let that make you worry more! This really is something you can change. The first thing to understand is that you can *choose* how you think. That's the thing most people don't realise. It takes a bit of practice, but there are tricks to help. Here's a quick method to get you started. Get yourself a notepad and carry it round with you. Next time you are worrying about something, get out your notepad, and write about it. Write down exactly what it is that you are afraid is going to happen, or are afraid has happened. This slows down your thought processes - when you worry, your thoughts move really fast, so in a matter of seconds you can go from 'Ben's late' to 'I hope he's ok' to 'What if something's happened to him?' to 'I bet he's had an accident'. You need to stop that train of thought right at the start, before it has time to become a real panic. Now, read back what you've written, and try to look at it objectively. Reading your words should help you see where you have jumped to conclusions or made unecessary assumptions. Think about how realistic your worry is. Imagine that you are reading the words of a friend of yours. Think about what you would say to that friend, how you would comfort her. You might point out that Ben is often late, or that the chances of him having had an accident are very small. You might remind her that although she's worried about this every time he's been late before, he's always actually been fine. Now, say those things to yourself. You don't have to say them out loud, though you can if it helps. Try to imagine you are talking to you a friend: I imagine a little girl version of me, and I imagine taking her on my lap, and then I gently and kindly explain why she doesn't need to worry. Doing this may feel really odd at first - and you may initially feel as though you're not convincing yourself at all - but if you keep at it it really will make a difference. After a while it will become habit - any time you have a negative or fearful thought, you just consciously replace it with a positive, optimistic one. Think of your mood as a bank account - everything you indulge a negative thought, you are taking money out of the bank. Every time you have a positive thought, however small, you are putting money back in. You want to put as much money in as you can, and when you start worrying, that's the time to deliberately think as positively as you can.

Another very important thing to understand is that what you feel is not reality. Just because you're scared of something, doesn't mean there's any actual danger.

This is a really big and complicated subject, and really can't be covered here properly. Look into positive thinking and cognitive behavioural techniques - they are tools for learning to think in a more positive way. A really good book on this subject is 'Overcoming depression' by Paul Gilbert. Although he's writing about depression particularly, the book gives a lot of information about anxiety too - why people worry, the effect that it has on them, etc, and most importantly what you can do about it. It really is an excellent book - it got me out of a really dark time in my life, and was more help to me than any therapist could have been. It gives you some very useful tools. Another good book for this kind of thing is 'Feel the fear and do it anyway'. People think that that's a book about motivation, but actually it's really about how to reclaim your life from fear and worry.

Good luck.

Answer 5

I believe this is called anxiety, I can empathise with you on this, I have been told by my family that I can worry for Britain!!!
Mine is brought on my stress, and can worsen if not dealt with.
Have a chat with your GP, honest its the only way, its a miserable state to be in, I know. Some counselling may help, not as bad as it sounds! One in four of us suffering with stuff like this at some time during our lives, its the price we pay for caring I guess. Don't be a hero, and dint be ashamed, so have a chat with your GP - Good luck!

Answer 6

Life is cruel sometimes! We can't change what happens though. No matter how much worrying you do it won't change a thing. I use to be very much like you. My husband has taught me to take life how it comes. So try just a little to let go. Go for more walks. Turn the music up loud and dance. And go with the flow of life. But most of all ENJOY!!!!!!!!

Answer 7

stop , simple as this, i am a 44 year old german male residing in the republic of ireland, in germany i was a judge , before that in holland i served in the navy and got highky decorated, and after i retired i moved to blessed old ireland , to have a little business and to enjoy life, but i forgot about the people here and what they can do to a foreigner, well, it took me some time but now i have recovered from it, and i have only one attitude :FU** it" them and everybody else were they stand, i just do my own thing, and that is that, what is the point of wrecking yourself with worry about some people who most likely dont give a **** , so just simple stop, go out, enjoy life and have a good time,

Answer 8

You have apparently a sixth sense of things/but maybe you should talk to a Minister or someone about all of this worrying. Have you spoken to your Dr? You are going to develop an ulcer if you keep this up,how do I know? I was the same way for years,still am to a certain point,especially when it comes to my Grown Children and GrandAngels. Good luck,God Bless

Answer 9

You seem to explain things exactly as my autistic child does. He worries excessively about "stupid" things. Talk though yur worries with someone and they will help alleviate your concerns. People tend to worry about things they have little knowledge about, so educate yourself. Remember that we cannot control things all the time and we have to let things happen and deal with the consequences. It is a fact that worrying can make you ill, so try to let some things you worry about go.

Answer 10

hi there, i get those gut feelings that something is going to happen whether it be good or bad, but i don't worry all the time like you, if you let this continue you could get depression, go and see your doctor, i was once told that i had psychic abilities and that i should put them to use..but i didn't, i have told people's futures, but i won't practice it, lol
if this has been going on for a long time i would definately advise that you see your doctor, as you might already have depression there again you just might be a natural worrier...good luck
i hope this helps
yvonne