I broke up with my bf the end of august, it was so hard for me to be without him, that i took him back the end of september..It hasnt even been a week and hes already back to treating me like absolute crap. Why am i so stupid? Why cant i push him out the door and just leave him for good?
2006-10-01 09:06:28 · 29 answers · asked by Freaked out 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are a co-dependant. Its a sort of addiction to emotionally unavilable people.
Codependent Personality Disorder is a dysfunctional relationship with the self characterized by living through or for another, attempts to control others, blaming others, a sense of victimization, attempts to "fix" others, and intense anxiety around intimacy. It is very common in people raised in dysfunctional families, and in the partners and children of alcoholics and addicts. Most chemical dependency treatment centers now also offer treatment for Codependency.
Melody Beattie, author of the book Codependent No More developed this check list:
• Do you feel responsible for other people--their feelings, thoughts, actions, choices, wants, needs, well-being and destiny?
* Do you feel compelled to help people solve their problems or by trying to take care of their feelings?
• Do you find it easier to feel and express anger about injustices done to others than about injustices done to you?
• Do you feel safest and most comfortable when you are giving to others?
• Do you feel insecure and guilty when someone gives to you?
• Do you feel empty, bored and worthless if you don't have someone else to take care of, a problem to solve, or a crisis to deal with?
• Are you often unable to stop talking, thinking and worrying about other people and their problems?
• Do you lose interest in your own life when you are in love?
• Do you stay in relationships that don't work and tolerate abuse in order to keep people loving you?
• Do you leave bad relationships only to form new ones that don't work, either?
If you answered yes to many of this questions, you need support from friends and help from a good therapist.
2006-10-01 09:08:28 · answer #1 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Okay, I don't know you, but I doubt that you'e an idiot. You're probably just scared to be without him. Even though he treats you like "absolute crap", the situation feels safe because it's familiar. There's nothing scarier than the unknown, which is your life without him. I know it's easier said than done, but you can find the courage to venture out on your own. Give yourself permission to be scared and and know that there might be some lonely times. But you have to get out of this relationship first to be in a good one. You deserve better than this creep. Allow yourself to make the brave choice. Most great things come from taking a risk.
2006-10-01 16:15:50 · answer #2 · answered by Kat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Probably because either 1- you love him, or 2-you are afraid of being alone or 3-you are used to being with him and you do not like change. You deserve to be with a man that will always treat you right! Every woman is very special and we need to be treated like QUEENS, and if he cannot do that for you then you can find better!! Good Luck gurly!! :)
2006-10-01 16:08:47 · answer #3 · answered by Tiffany 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your not stupid at all. I think you fell in love with some of his qualities. Your simply not focusing on the bigger picture. Which is your self respect and whats better for you in the long run. You know hes not marriage material, and you know you're problem going to get tried of his crap again and break up him. So if you know this why waste anymore of you valuable time with him and just let him go.
2006-10-01 16:15:25 · answer #4 · answered by Mysique_X 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know... you have no willpower, and perhaps you need to do something to boost your self esteem? Why else would someone take back someone who treats her like crap? Don't you think you can find and you deserve MUCH better? Let him go -- push him out, and start over. You DO deserve better. Enjoy the single life and explore your possibilities.
2006-10-01 16:09:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You cant let him go because you have dependency problems. Try just sayin bye. or even you leave, and use your friends to hold you up. If he treats you like crap hes not worth it. Tell your parents about the problem, they normally know what to do!
2006-10-01 16:13:42 · answer #6 · answered by amberpurkey2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going through this with my girlfriend at the minute.
She makes me so mad most of the time and, even I know it's because she is in physical pain, we keep splitting up.
But even a few days apart makes us realise how much we love each other.
2006-10-01 16:13:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not a idiot...old habits die hard....maybe you have low self esteem and dont feel that you deserve better but I promise you do....just keep that in mind when you send him packing....if he loved you he would want you to be the best you possible....not make you feel worse so that he feels better...
2006-10-01 16:11:54 · answer #8 · answered by Jessicalee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are scared of being alone emotionally. Ditch the guy and go find someone that will treat you the way you want to be treeated.
2006-10-01 16:10:42 · answer #9 · answered by Kris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you can't leave him because you love him. talk to him about the way he's treating you maybe he'll change. If he doesn't, break up with him and this time really break up with him and ask a friend to help you forget him, believe me, its possible but for now see if he changes. good luck!
2006-10-01 16:09:56 · answer #10 · answered by celinuchis90 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋