Me and my partner have been trying for a baby for the past 2 years to no avail, I'm considering giving up work to become a full time foster parent. I'm 26 and my partner is 46, please advise.
2006-10-01 08:27:56 · 10 answers · asked by adamson_sarah20032003 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Sure-foster parents are great and are always needed-more so older children need a home. I would say to go for it. Think of the difference you can make in someone's life.
2006-10-01 08:30:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am a foster parent and I can tell you that it can be extremely trying at times, but also very rewarding.
If you are doing it with the idea of adopting an infant, rethink your position. First of all, while adoption does happen it is a long road unless the child/parent relationship has already been severed. And with infants, they are hard to come by being legally free for adoption. First many of them already have siblings that have been severed and adopted already so the first place the state will look to placing an infant for adoption is either with the family or with the siblings new adoptive family. Second, if the child does not have siblings then first and foremost the case plan will usually be reunification. Reunification takes alot of work for all team members involved. And as a foster parent you will be a very intricate member of the team. Sometimes you will have to work very closely with the biological parents, and you need to treat them with respect no matter what they may have done to this helpless child you have living in your home. Even if a severance is granted, you are still looking at 2-5 years before the child is legally free for adoption.
With older kids, there is a lot of baggage. They are angry, they don't trust adults, many of them have disorders such as oppositional defiance, reactive attachment disorder. Disorders like that make bonding with these kids difficult, and after many months you may break through and get them to trust you and bond with you then guess what? Time for a visit with their parents. And then the cycle starts all over again.
I could go on and on.....Email me if you have questions, I would love to help you out!
2006-10-02 08:41:14 · answer #2 · answered by jmlmmlmll 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being a foster parent is a very noble, admirable thing to do. Just please keep in mind, most of the children you foster will not be with you forever. A good friend of mine is a foster parent. She was asked to care for a little girl that was six weeks old. Four years later the state decided the mother had finally reformed and the little girl was taken away from the only home she has ever known and given back to this stranger. Be sure you are prepared for things like that to happen. If you decide you can do it, then God bless you. More people like you are needed.
2006-10-01 13:21:04 · answer #3 · answered by Mom of 3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
One of the things they will have you do is ask yourself why you want to be a foster parent. If the sole reason is because you want a child, they would advise you against it. They need foster parents but it is important to have people who are dedicated to the idea of helping a child. Remember, these kids come with special needs and lots of baggage, no matter what age. Talk to your husband and really decide if this is what is best for you and for the child (or children) that you will be caring for. If you feel that it is right for you - go for it. Just remember that it is for the long haul even if you do eventually get pregnant.
2006-10-01 08:38:56 · answer #4 · answered by AlongthePemi 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
contact job and faimly services in your area,
get signed up with pre-service classes ( free)
that will give you all the best info.
I fostered, and then adopted.
The think I couldn't take the most with the foster kids is
them crying for mommie and daddie, ( and I could not comfort them)
as well as when they went back
for example, I fostered one 4 days old,
she was born addicted to crack
I spend a week with her in icu
as well as some time at home,
then mom got her act together ( whatever that meant)
and she went back
It broke my heart, my wife cried so much her eyes bled.
we ended up adopting, and I have loved that.
we were able to take in a child of 3 days old.
and she has been wondeful
( I mean besides the times they test your patience, and their limits) lol
2006-10-01 08:54:24 · answer #5 · answered by papeche 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you think you have the patients for foster parent job than go for it and enjoy it.
2006-10-01 08:31:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, there are lots of kids who need homes! But don't give up on having your own little bundle.
2006-10-01 08:48:30 · answer #7 · answered by Kayla 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
THERE IS NOTHING MORE NOBLE THAN WHEN A MAN SACRIFICES HIMSELF FOR ANOTHER.SEE A DOCTOR THERE MAY BE A SIMPLE REASON FOR YOUR PROBLEM.GOOD LUCK WITH FOSTER PARENTING
2006-10-01 08:58:23 · answer #8 · answered by miraclehand2020 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure that would be great...but do you really want to give up ur job tho?
2006-10-01 08:37:12 · answer #9 · answered by jls10 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adopted kids are almost ALWAYS screwed up, don't do it. Go Invitro.
2006-10-01 08:37:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋