Girls- would you be offended if somebody asked you if you were pregnant and you are not?

Question

I'm a waitress, at work this large girl (20's) asks me when I am due (as in pregnancy), I am a size 7 in juniors so I 'm thin. I tell her that I am not and add that unless she knows the person or it is obvious that the person she is asking is in fact pregnant it's best not to ask, then I walked away. She then tells me that I should not get so offended, I told her that I was very offended. To me that implies she thinks I have a belly, which is rude to point out if the person isn't pregnant. She thens calls back later to my work to complain about me to a manager, she hung up before the manager (my boyfirend) could answer. The man next to the lady told me after she left he thought I handled it well and was polite to her. Would you have acted the same, or what would you have done? I was absolutely livid, what nerve!

F off Steelmadison

And you too Dumb Brit

My waist is 29 inches, I am not even the least bit self concious, the lady was being a b*tch so screw all of you who say I'm insecure, this is an etiquette question, not a body image question.

Some of these people are being rude to me and have done nothing to them personally. Daljack you can say whatever you want but if people attack somebody they get defensive. All I did was ask a simple question, there's no need to be mean about it like some of you, be civil and stop the insults.

Answer 1

i would have done the same thing and yes i would have got offended, and yes what she said was very rude, and yes i do get your point of it...... and you did handle the situation very polite and had manners 2 go with it!!!!!! and i don't see why people say stuff before they know if it is true or not, because I'm guessing that she was saying that u were fat but u aren't fat if u wear a 7 in juniors...... but anyways i have seen people do that 2 other people and i have seen people get offended when people say that 2 them...... but u handled it good and u didn't get smart with that person even if u wanted 2, so u did a good job..... and as what i can tell she was trying 2 get u fired if she tried 2 call back 2 tell the manager on you, but u stayed strong and did what you had 2 do..... and that was defend yourself!!!!!! so god bless you and i hope god will always be there for u no matter what!!!!!! and i hope my advice helps u out a lot!!!!

Answer 2

I was at the window talking to the rep about my application and she very loudly asks me "don't you need medical?" and I said no then she says but aren"t you pregnant? EVERYONE in the lobby heard her I know because I looked around and saw the stares and smirks. You wanna talk about being livid!!!! I looked her square in the eyes and told her that was not necessary for her to say and that if I needed medical then I would have asked for it I'm an adult. People do make assumptions and they are usually wrong. You handled it approriately as far as it pertains to your job but customers do not have the right to insult you or demean you in any way and you shouldn't take that kind of abuse. I'd have said worse than you and she'd have been embarrased!

Answer 3

You shouldnt be upset, You can, but try not too. Asking questions like that really depends on the purpose why she even asked you. She might have asked you because she just wants to make a little conversation. If thats the case dont be offended.

I sometimes do lifegueard duty, so its my responsibility to ask those pregnant looking ladies if they are indeed pregnant because they are not allowed in the whirlpools... so,it depends on the reason for asking.

Answer 4

Absolutely! Unless there is a valid medical reason for asking if a woman is pregnant or might be pregnant, and that question is asked of everyone regardless of appearance, I think this is one of the most inappropriate questions that can be asked!

My niece (who recently turned 7) continues to ask me this question without any negative response from the rest of the family. I don't see it as my place to correct others' children, but it's becoming more and more of a frustrating situation to me.

After the last time she asked yesterday, my husband asked her why she asked me this, and she told him it was because her other aunt is pregnant. I simply told her in no uncertain terms that "it isn't catching, and aren't you glad?"

Answer 5

You're blowing this WAY out of proportion.Face it, you've got weight issues girl.It was just a question,get over it and move on.Don't you have bigger things in life to overcome? So the girl was rude.If you are so aware of etiquette,then you should also know that it is rude to point out to someone else when they are rude.Ask Miss manners,it's a fact. A short curt response such as "No.......Thank you." Would have been all that was necessary to show this girl the error she had made.And if the language you used above to respond to others in this forum,is indicative of the language you use when offended,you are the last person who should be commenting on the lack of class in others.You have a foul mouth Miss.

Answer 6

I get this question a lot, but I'm not a size 7. Still it gets on my nerves, esp. if someone keeps apologizing and laughs at the same time. If I haven't specifically heard the person is pregnant I would never bring it up.

Answer 7

Yes, and I was a size 5 at the time. My clothes didn't hang on me the best and one of my customers asked me. I laughed and told her that I only knew of one immaculate conception. She felt so bad and apologized. I told her that work clothes are not the most flattering. If you are a waitress, I know your uniforms can pucker out in places. With what you said to her, I can see how she would complain. Your job is customer service. A simple no would have been enough. No matter what the customer says that may be offensive, your job is to walk away and then talk to your supervisor.

Answer 8

Hate to say it, but that's what's going to happen when you have trash as a co-worker.

I honestly think she's just jealous of you and is probably a little "off" in her social skills. She really should be written up for even asking that. Even if you were pregnant, it's a personal question and absolutely none of her business.

You handled it very, very well. I have quite the temper and my tongue can become quite sharp. I probably wouldn't have been as kind as you were (especially since the girl is large). In fact, I very well might have asked her if she was having twins. But then again, I'm not always proud of the lashings that seem to escape from my mouth...

And don't let these IDIOTS who keep insulting you get to you. They're probably fat and ugly and if you haven't figured it out yet, fat and ugly people hate thin and beautiful ones because we don't let them come to our parties. You and I could obviously hang out at the mall together. Since we don't shop at the loser stores these other freaks obvoulsy could not go shopping with us. They're just jealous.

Answer 9

You handled this very well considering the situation. Thank you for putting her in her place. It is extremely rude to ask any one if they are pregnant, (even if it is a family member) because they might not be ready to share the information even if it is true. She obviously has no manners.

Answer 10

How curious, especially if you are thin. I think it was a mistake for her to ask you, and completely out of line for her to go on and on about it when she found out you were offended. I don't blame you for being upset....but why not just drop it. Is she jealous of you for some reason??