Serious question for girls, about guys (its pretty long)?

Question

Okay so I hear everyone say all the time every girl wants to find a man that will "sweep them off their feet" so to speak, meaning they must put out to get you. But if they're trying to hook up with you at a club or party or something how do you know they're not just trying to get some so they can brag to their guy friends about their accomplishment. At the same time, a guy who is usually to himself or doesnt go out of his way to get a girl is considered a loner or loser and doesnt want to be bothered, ie someone who plays video games or posts on message boards all day. Isnt there a double standard? I just find it irritating that people I talk to in person and online tell me, even if its in a joking way, that I need to get a life or make fun of the fact I "never get laid". Im not going out of my way to try to woo a woman and play the whole flirt game. What can I do to make myself come off as an honest person when talking to girls but at the same time not a loser who plays xbox

Okay, Im 19 and I would consider myself to be good looking, I play basketball and am athletic built, 6'1'' 180 pounds. I have whats called social anxiety which makes me very uneasy in social situations and really IMO the reason I am anxious is because Im worried of being just another guy trying to pick up a woman. I have never been about that (note: I am NOT gay, Ive heard that way too much), I never wanted to brag about who Ive been with, which chicks number I got or how many I "banged" etc because to me thats just wrong and disrespectful. Ive pretty much held the belief that just enjoy doing what you love and put your faith and your future in Gods hands, and whatever happens happens. I guess Im coming to a point in my life where I actually want to start getting into the relationship thing but am confused at what mentality I should have. Is there any flaw in the way that I think?

Im sorry I didnt mean to come across as a fat video game player I was just using video games as an example. I play basketball every day I played throughout high school and I hope to make the college team.

Answer 1

Just be yourself and relax. When you find the right one, you'll know it and so will she...other girls are not worth your time. You seem to have your priorities straight and know what you want, while caring for the girl as well. Don't worry about it. Just being yourself is the thing that does girls in. If you try to act too cool, or act rough and tough, girls will figure it out and know that you're bluffing. They're not attracted to that at all...just be yourself and everything else will come on its own. Always be a gentleman, but don't be over conscious about yourself. Hope I helped! Email me if you need anything else...my email address should be on my profile.
~SmS~

Answer 2

well babe all girls are dfferent for a start so they will have their own opinion about what a loser is and who's not, girls tend to trust men if they say the right things so we can be naive about guys who approach us, some of the time we can tell if a guy is no good for us, sometimes we can't. We take risks and that is what ppl should do b/c you'll never know if you don't find out for yourself. The guys who are introverted are not losers but aren't noticed the same b/c they don't put themselves out there enough to be noticed, thats not to say we don't notice them tho.
You sound really lovely so don't change for no-one, it's best not to be a sheep and do what everyone else does. I love the fact you say you respect girls, that is the way to get a girl babe-respect. To meet girls you just need to approach them and if you treat them with respect we will be able to tell you are a good guy and ultimately that makes you the most attractive guy in the room to a girl and we will be able to tell if you mean it or not.
I hope i helped u understand a girl's mind a little better!
You aren't a loser, you are fabulous!!!!!!!!
xxxxxxxxx

Answer 3

Okay..How old are you? Playing video games is acceptable, up to a certain age. And yes, age does matter. The "whole flirt game" is what talking to girls and getting them interested in you is all about. Unless you are drop dead gorgeous, and not many people are in this world, most girls wont' give you a second glance. You have to make them remember you. Whats so wrong with flirting anyways? It doesn't have to be cheezy, it doesn't have to be fake. Did you learn nothing about relationships in high school? Honesty is important, but the lack of flirting isn't what makes a person honest. Being a loser isn't all about not flirting, but if you pair that with the lack of proper social skills and constant video gaming, then yeah, you may be a loser. But then again, this all kind of depends on your age and maturity..so you really should post those.

Answer 4

Maybe consider joining a club where you will meet girls with the same interests as you. I know a lot of girls who like to play xbox and post on message boards. Just remember, we are what we attract. If you don't get yourself out there, you won't attract anyone. You sound like a nice and sincere guy. Good luck, hope this helps.

Answer 5

Well its good that you don't just agree with your friends. ;]

Girls like guys who aren't just out there to attract as many girls as possible. And it might not seem like that, but its true. Just be yourself, because there is someone who will love you for that, even if you "don't have a life." Sure, some flirty girls go for the flirty guys, but there are girls like you, too, who play video games an post on message boards and are looking for guys just like you.

So don't give a crap about what you're friends say, cause its much more likely that you're gonna meet someone really special who's not just with you cause she looks good. You're gonna get the real relationship, and you're gonna come out happy in the end. So just hang in there. =]

Answer 6

As a woman I don't interpret the term "Sweep her off of her feet" has anything to with sex. In fact just the opposite, I personally am tired of the guy who that is all he wants from me. I am tired of the song and dance he does to try to get into my pants. I'm also tired of the guy who whines at me about being the nice guy.

Where is the guy who just wants to spend time with me, the guy who won't pressure me to get physical. Who enjoys my company and doesn't have a problem telling me I'm sexy but can keep his hands off. Where is the man who will open the door for me and come home to dinner and pick at my mom. Where is the guy who not only wants to be my lover but wants to be my best friend til death do us part? That would sweep me off of my feet.

Answer 7

You should be yourself, (girls hate hypocites) 'cause you can't pretend to be someone else 'cause they've got to know what they're getting. I think that if you see a girl that you like, but have never talked to her before you should go up to her say hi and just start talking. Get to know each other and at the right point in the conversation ask her out. Make sure you have the right motive though. Don't ask her out 'cause she's good looking , or to impress other guys. Ask her out 'cause you like her personality and her looks.

Answer 8

tell them ur good points den when u and the gurl get close enough tell her you like to play video games and ma brother is 27 and still will sit dwn and play games and go on the computer and he has a child and is married now it doesnt matter what u do and eventually youll find a gurl that can execpt the fact that u do those things

Answer 9

look for girls that play xbox,or play less often.like set days when u do go out there and mingle,and just be real honest,say "i stopped playing xbox to see you"

Answer 10

F*ck them!

They don't pay your bills.