My fiance has 2 kids one is 14 and 1 is 5 and I get along great with the 14 year old but the 5 year old never listens to me and he is rude to me and my children and he tries to tear up all of my kid's things but we only get him every two weeks and I don't want to be mean to him but I think I deserve some respect and so do my kids,oh,and everytime he is around and his dad shows me some attention,no matter what he is doing he always butts into the middle of us and as soon as his dad goes away from me then he goes back to whatever he was doing,what do I do?
2006-10-01 08:06:28 · 10 answers · asked by Tiffany M 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
The 5 year old has it tough right now as he is trying to adjust to a step family. He wants his dad's attention and might be showing a bit of jelousey towards the attention he gives you.
I am not sure how his mom is towards you and his dad. I'm not sure if there is any issue's, but have you discussed this with the mother? *such as his behavior at home v.s his behavior with her?
Just as a side note, my step sibling's mother feed them horrible stuff about my mom and us. Therefore, caused a conflict since my step siblings acted out on information they were told by their mother. So, investigate it as well.
He seems to be acting out and dealing with the change with what he knows how.
What does his dad do about him "butting in"?
Does he tell him "Right now I am speaking to ___ and rude to butt into conversations/time together. After our conversation/time together, I will be glade to hear all about it".?
Or does he stop the conversation/attention with you to attend his son?
I know you might already do this by try to include activities with him in it with his dad and you. Then equal it out with just him and his dad. He needs that time with his dad too. It was hard on me to adjust and I was 10 at the time. For 10 years all I had was my mom and then I had this guy getting attention from her. It too ALOT of patience. At 10 and even 5, it is very difficult to have that much patience and understanding.
2006-10-01 16:10:18 · answer #1 · answered by Mutchkin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is so young he doesn't understand why his dad is not with his mom. So, you may be the enemy right now, he has to adjust but both of you have to be patient and understanding. Maybe you can take both the boys to the movies, the park or something.
My father was murdered when I was a small and every man that come into my moms life, years after his death, "wasn't my father" and they were the enemy. At that age, I saw them as coming in between my relationship with my mom, because things change when someone else comes into the picture for the children. Now, of course when I got older I understood that my mom needed to move on and live her life.
This may take some time but you and their father has to be understanding of his feelings. I am not saying allowing him to disrespect you but that is where his father steps in.
Your reaction to him can make things better or worse.
2006-10-01 10:49:42 · answer #2 · answered by hyhonline 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I advise heading on right down to the Mayburrey and chatting with Randy. he's have been given a lower back door corporation (nonetheless in the call of God) that would quite pony you up some funds rapid. Ask for Tim first nevertheless. he will lead you to a small creek somewhat down the line the place you will would desire to respond to 3 questions efficiently and immediately to a girl named Shirley with a view to get into the valuables the place Randy is. The solutions would be: a million. what's Turkmenistan 2. carry Ctrl+Alt+the down arrow. 3. Mr. Potato Trooper * All solutions would desire to be reported precisely as I easily have written them. Randy will hand you a briefcase and could deliver you on your way. ** do not look lower back. only shop on strolling. bypass lower back precisely the type you got here ** you may have your cash and your church would be stored.
2016-10-18 07:40:04 · answer #3 · answered by harte 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a job for the Supernanny! lol No, seriously, the boy is obviously having issues with his father being with someone other than his mother. Both your fiance, the boys mother, and you have to find a way to make him understand what's going on. Maybe Daddy needs to spend more time alone with him, or maybe you should. Sounds like a definite attention issue.
2006-10-01 08:49:39 · answer #4 · answered by Emjay 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your fiance to leave you with him more often and let the child know that even when you guys get married, he will still be your daddy and you won't take his place and he will still have his mommy. Also tell your fiance to start disciplining the child every single time. When he does encourage that he needs umph in his voice. it wont happen over night but he will learn that he does not have to just repect his dad, but you and everyone and thing else.
2006-10-01 08:12:46 · answer #5 · answered by private p 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
he's jealous of you and might even resent you because at that age children don't care what problems their parents have had, they just want them to get back together and with you in the picture he has to face the fact that that isn't going to happen. My advice is- don't spoil him- but kill his hostility with kindness. Ignore the bad things he does to you and compliment him often when he does right. As he gets older and more used to you this will get easier, in the meantime understand he's five and you're an adult and that means you're going to have to be the bigger person.
2006-10-01 09:48:20 · answer #6 · answered by Jennifer F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is having a hard time dealing with his father having a "new life". I don't understand why you feel the need to live together prior to your getting married, this could be bothering him. The child needs discipline but at this point it should be coming from his father and no you, right now you are no relation to the boy and basically have no right to discipline him at all.
2006-10-01 22:13:31 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to accept the fact that you are the intruder,at least in his eyes. It's going to take time for him to get used to the idea of having a step mom. You and your fiancee need to have a united front and let the boy know you are not going to tolerate his actions.
2006-10-01 08:36:15 · answer #8 · answered by mopjky 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you ge thim things because it feel like hes not welcome
Take him somewere like the park or take him to get some ice cream but dont go overboard because then hell think that hes being rewarded just like when your out shoping say be a good boy and .....
That might work or tell yoour fiance
2006-10-01 08:16:05 · answer #9 · answered by Beth 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he is trying to adjust to the changes and not doing very well---sometimes a little counseling can help--or getting him into a playgroup or sports activities--even dance can help---at that age try to reroute his thinking into constructive instead of destructive activities might be the best thing------
2006-10-01 08:09:52 · answer #10 · answered by darkangel1111 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋