i think my mum and my dad are too overprotective. I am nearly 17 and i am not allowed to stay at my bf's house, i am not allowed upstairs wiv him. but they know wer havin sex n stuff. I have beenb with him for 7 months. Is she acting normal? also i am always asked to leave a note on were i am going and i have to be in at 9.30 at weekends and my mum insists on picking me up from places? are they normal or is it just me?
2006-10-01 07:08:16 · 69 answers · asked by cutie_pie 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Ok without wanting to sound like ur mum.....They are just looking after you, they mean well!!! lol
I have been thru similar things....but you just have to accept that you will probly always be there little girl, they probly cant accept the fact that you are growing up so fast and hence always be protective of you.
I do promise that it does get better....I am 22 now and i have all the freedom i possibly need or want....so its all good....
but for now, try to show them that u can take care of urself by showing maturity and responsibility in ur actions....
whatever you do dont start arguments, when you talk to them be calm!!!! And like i said b4 it does get better.....
:)
Have fun
2006-10-01 07:24:23 · answer #1 · answered by zuli 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think they're being pretty normal and reasonable. Maybe the 9.30 curfew at weekends is a bit OTT, but then again you're 17 - where are you going to go? (Not to the pub!)
As I've got older I find I agree more with the old cliche - while you live under my roof, you live by my rules. When you're 18 you'll be free to make your own choices, but til then your parents are responsible for looking after you and protecting you from the nasties out in the world. And by picking you up from places they're saving you loads of money on taxis!
If you're really not happy, try talking to them and try to reach a compromise. When they can see you reasoning like an adult, they will begin to trust you like one.
2006-10-01 07:22:24 · answer #2 · answered by Fifi L'amour 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hate to break the news but they are just being normal parents. They may know your having sex, but even in this day and age, it is still normal to protect their children and it may just be as hard for parents to accept their children are having sex as it would be for a child to imagin their parents having sex. So basically, instead of talking about desiese and birth control, they are trying to protect you by limiting how much sex you can have (not allowing upstairs or overnight), they might even just feel you are too young.
As for leaving a note of where you are and setting a curfew, it lets them know you are ok and if something were to happen, they would have some way of reaching you or coming out to get you and knowing you are in your house at night, they can sleep well knowing you are not in any sort of trouble.
ps. even adults leave notes of where they will be or how they can be reached, it's called consideration. One possibility could be the discussion of getting a cell phone that can only be used with your parents number... give them peace of mind and possibly give you a bit more freedom.
2006-10-01 07:16:37 · answer #3 · answered by Mandy P 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is completely normal. I think you are quite lucky actually!! They always want to best for you!! Obviously, they don't want you to be in trouble or anything because you are the most important person for them!!
Is difficult to understand when you are 17.... just wait 10 more years and you will know what I am talking about!! I was there myself and I was feeling embarrassed sometimes!! But I have to say that my parents were quite open minded!! Once I grew up a bit more, they started to give me more freedom!!
I can tell you that my husband's parents are still overprotective even though, he is now 37 years old... Can you imagine?? This is obviously an extreme case, as he is a grown up man now! I think his parents are exaggerating a bit....
2006-10-01 07:11:44 · answer #4 · answered by Marmot 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
More parents need to be like that. They can't stop you from having sex but they are not gonna make it easy for you. Just remember this when you have a teenage child of your own. Thanks your parents for caring and respect them. They are trying to instill values and morals in your life that you will carry thur to being an adult. You are allowed to hate the rules and you allowed to debate over them (you are a teenager and it is your god given right to not agree with your parents) Your parents love you or they wouldn't care what you did so be grateful. As for the 9:30 curfew. Most town and city have a 10 or 11 curfew so might want to find out exactly what yours is and work on a compromise. When I turned 16 I made an deal with my parents. If I was in the house on weekdays but 8:00 then I could stay out on the weekends until 10:30 as long as I they knew exactly where I was and who i was with. I wasn't allowed to be out running the street or driving aound. I had to be someplace
2006-10-01 07:16:08 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am currently 17, soon to be 18. My mom is just like yours. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for nearly a year. He isn't allowed in my room even with the door open. I am almost 18 and I have to be home by 11 even on a weekend. I am not allowed to go to parties or stay at anyone's house without her talking to their parents. so, I do a lot of sneaking around. Trust me, it is normal. Almost all parents are really protective. Its for your own good I guess.
2006-10-01 07:13:22 · answer #6 · answered by Alexis 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi you can see that they love you but you are 17 and need your space keeping tabs of where you go and having you to be in at certain times is a bit to overprotective. You just have to have a word with them and sort a few things out as there over protective ness can make you feel down and scared do do things because you think you are doing something wrong. It depend on which country you are in and the legal age to have sex is 16 in england so you arent doing anything wrong and even though they know your having sex then they just seem like they dont want you to be together perhaps they think you are too young in there eyes but you arnt. You have been seeing him for 7 months. but the thing is if you do want to move out and live with your boyfriend then will they let you. The only way you can find out why they are like this with you is to speak to them and find out. I know people have said you should respect that they dont want your boyfriend to sleep in your bed and have sex or whatever but they also need to respect your feelings also as a growing up woman.
2006-10-01 07:25:19 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You still a teenager your parents are just trying to protect you, i think they could loosen the rains a little though. Why don't you sit down with you parents and have an adult conversation with them and explain how you feel and see if you can comprising a little, to start with suggest a later curfew at weekend letting you and your boyfriend upstairs but keeping the bedroom door open let them gain trust in you and then they'll start treating you like an adult.
Leaving notes is just so if there a emergency they know where you are.
They just love you!
2006-10-01 07:13:47 · answer #8 · answered by Jennifer 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think they are being a bit overprotective of you. 9:30 is too early for a weekend. 12:00 would be more appropriate considering your age. But I do support their decision about your bf. They don't want to give you ever opportunity to have sex, that just leads to complications. You may get a kid, and he may run. Guys get scared when they see a kid on the way. It also means that your parents are worried you may get a disease, because I have to tell ya, very few men are really faithful. Sorry.
2006-10-01 07:15:43 · answer #9 · answered by defrost1983 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is totally normal. I went through the same thing and I felt like my parents were going to extremes and were overprotective. It has a lot to do with your age. I totally agree with them that it's not appropriate for you to stay at his house and they probably don't want to think of you having sex in their house. But they're worried that you'll get pregnant and ruin the next few years of your life, which in their eyes will most likely involve school and figuring out if this is "the" guy or just "a" guy.
2006-10-01 07:13:36 · answer #10 · answered by Iknowsomestuff 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋