I self harm, but i'm not depressed. is it so wrong?

Question

im 14 and have been harming 4 about 3 or 4 years. i no that what im doing is wrong and that i shouldn't be doing it. i dont do it for attention, i guess i do it because i dont really have another way 2 express myself but im not like depressed or anything. i wanna stop cos i really dont wanna run the risk of my mum finding out, which is the reason talking 2 my mum is TOTALLY out of the question, cos she wood like freak and b like: 'after all i've done for you..' etc etc and we have massive rows which is partially wat starts it agen. my mum and my dad split 7 years ago, and i no she would be devastated if i told her/ she found out. but the last time i was so tired and not thinking straight and i did it on my forearm and i have a noticable scar, this is wat triggered me 2 think about stopping more seriously. 2 people know about wat i do and i dont think they have any issues with it, well i no 1 doesnt cos she did the same thing. and the other is so quiet she wouldnt tell a soul. so wrong?

Answer 1

Borderline Personality Disorder.

Answer 2

There is alot of stigma attached to self harm. I cannot give you an answer, that will make you wake up in the morning and never self harm again. What I do know though is you do not have to be depressed or attention seeking and you are not alone. You may have told your friends about what you do, but trust me, they cannot help you overcome it alone. Your friend that self harms too, does she recognise that she has problem? Is there anyone (an adult) at school/neighbour that you trust that can advise you? If not try child line, the lines are very busy but you will get through in the end (0800 1111). Also look on the web, try BBC newsround. If you feel that you cannot express yourself through words, write down how you feel in a letter or book, try and give it to someone. If you really can't, just putting it on paper, how you feel might let off some steam for you. My thoughts are with you. Please Take Care. Carla x x x

Answer 3

I self harm too, so I wouldn't judge you...

...there is usually an underlying reason why people self harm, and this is the worrying part, and suggests that you need some help.

If you can't talk to your Mum, is there a counsellor at your school, or a teacher who you could trust to discuss it with. Perhaps you have a school nurse, who could help you.

Please try and get some help, there are lots of people who will try and help you, but you have to have the courage to ask for that help in the first place.

I never told anyone, and my GP eventually found out by chance (while checking my blood pressure), and he was soooo supportive and helpful. I wish I'd had the confidence to tell him before. In fact he seemed really hurt and upset that I hadn't told him sooner. I'm so glad he knows and that I can now get some help.

Answer 4

Whilst you may not be clinically depressed it is likely that you are unable to cope with stressful situations and use cutting as a release.
The reason it is wrong is due to many reasons.
1. The scars that are left on your body.
2. The risk of infection from a cut - including septiceamia which could potentially result in death
3. Severe bleeding- again resulting in death.
Whilst i understand that you cannot speak to your Mum about this I really do advise that you speak to another adult /counsellor/teacher..

The risk of infection to these self inflicted wounds would be higher than average due to the fact that it is likely that you wont be dressing them properly or using sterile instruments to gauge the skin plus you will be covering them so your mum cant find out.

Please get help!

Answer 5

Young man, I am speaking from the heart when I tell you that it is hard to stop on your own. You do need someone to help you. I am not a professional, but what i think is that it is a result of what is going on with your family at home. often sometimes when our parents have problems, the children suffer from the emotional affects of it.

You are not a nut case, but you might not think that you are depressed, because you probably have a very strong exterior personality, but what we don't have control over is what is on the inside and often we don't realize it before it is too late.

Telling someone, even if it is us, is the first step. Now take the second one. if you can't talk with your mom, talk with the school counselor and then ask her to recommend someone. I don't believe in lying, but you could have your school counselor tell your mom that you are depressed over the break up and need some counselong and when you see a professional then you can tell them what the real problem is for you and maybe they can help you in confidence. But remember, you are not a nut case and that everyone needs some sort of counseling at some point in their lives. so don't feel singled out.

Take care

I will pray for your success

Answer 6

Self harm is a form of self expression, it's not wrong but it's not a very safe way to express your emotions. Try another outlet - write it down, scream it out or pound your frustration out online or on your computer in a mindless beat-em-up! If you can't seem to stop then try talking to someone, a friend or an online contact you trust. In the interim try non-scarring self-harm such as scratching instead of cutting as at least this way you avoid the risk of infection/catching something.

Answer 7

Isn't there anybody else you can talk too, say a close friend, sister / brother, my ex boyfriend used to self harm and he said it was a cry for help. It is wrong to do it, in one of the Sunday magazine today it shows a girl who self harms and has thousand of scars, maybe try and find what magazine it was in and read the article once you see her scars it might make you realise that it is wrong and you will have to live with what you have done forever. It also doesn't look very attractive if you want to wear short sleeve tops/dresses.

Answer 8

Wow - what a great first step to take to ask for help, i advise you look on the Internet for some good ideas to help stop (or reduce risk of serious harm)- i found this site below for you to look at which has some things you might wish to try. Your mum would only want what is best for you and that would be not hurting yourself, you need to take care of your body as you only get one. Maybe find someone in the family you trust and talk to them - i think there might be some underlying issues you need to get out of your system.

http://www.mirror-mirror.org/selfinj.htm

Look after yourself - scars are forever........

Answer 9

You obviously do think there is "something wrong" with this or you'd not ask the question. Lots of people do this, so don't feel you're weird. Do try to find someone to talk to about this, but it's just a matter of luck if you find the right person to talk to first time. But don't feel guilty, or that you're not normal. I have one friend from school who did this at your age, and he went on to alcohol abuse when he was older, so do try to get some help, it is a serious issue to address, and you've made that first step here.

Answer 10

Hi.

I self harmed during some difficult periods of my life, not because I was mad or anything like that, I think it was because I didn't know where to turn.

I love my parents very much but felt I could not turn to them because I did not want them to see me as a failure.

I now know I was wrong, and that whatever I felt about myself my parents still loved me.

There have been so many highs and lows in my life, but the constant has been my parents love.

I'm sure they would rather I was not the way I am, but they will always be there for me, because they love me.

I'm sure your parents are the same, you just don't know it.

Or they don't.

You all need to discover this fact for you're selves, and soon.

It's not much fun spending your life in a shirt because of what you did to your body.

A natural tan and going swimming are out of the question.

Please, don't hurt yourself.

God bless, and good luck.

Answer 11

It's not healthy. It's addictive, and it's a bad way to deal with things. I'm sure you know that. You're trying to justify it, even though you know it's bad. I know, I've been doing the same thing for about the last year (I mean, making excuses not to stop cutting).

You don't have to tell your mum about the actual cutting, but what about telling her that you're stressed out at school and want to start seeing a therapist? Anything you tell your therapist will be just between you and her, so you can talk to her about cutting without your mom knowing that's what you're talking about. A therapist can help you learn better coping skills so you won't have to cut anymore.

If you don't want to do that, talk to a school counselor or nurse, a teacher you trust, or your family GP. Or any other adult in your life who you think would be undestanding and supportive. You need to find a way to stop cutting (and I think you already know that), and you can't do it by yourself.

If you ever want to talk, you're welcome to email me through Answers or at [e-mail].