Small private wedding ceremony or Justice of Peace?? My first, his second, already living together @ 5 years.

Question

He just proposed two days ago, truly caught me off guard! I guess we both figured we would some day, but we didn't talk about it much. We have been already living together for nearly 5 years, he has two children we have on weekends (11 & 13), I have none. We are both in our mid 30's and don't want a lot of fuss, nothing elaborate or expensive. We do want some sort of reception/party with family and friends - simple and not costly. Here's some of the differences we need to figure out. The main issue is if we are going to have a wedding ceremony or just a private ceremony with a JP. He is very self-concious about his hair loss over the last several years and doesn't want a lot of people or pictures as is normal with a wedding ceremony, I can respect that. I am fine with a very small wedding, with a larger reception guest list. But this is my 1st and I want to have a memorable experience. Havent told my parents yet, I know my dad would miss walking me down the aisle. Any ideas?

Is it unheard of or bad manners for the groom to wear a hat during a ceremony? We are not the traditional type - we like to be unique and fun. Could this be an option for us? Anyone have any suggetions?

I would like to have the ceremony outdoors, we love the wilderness and nature. Will a JP have to be in a courthouse, or can we have the ceremony where we want?

All in all we want to keep things as simple and non stressful as possible. Cost is a large factor. We want to at least have a modest reception for family and close friends - nothing large, just larger than the wedding ceremony. That's why we were thinking on just going in front of the JP then having a reception for everyone. I just don't want to leave anyone feeling left out with the actual ceremony. And I would like to still feel it is a special day, not just eloping.

FYI - he is a man of many hats - he wears them all the time. He feels bare without one. He has also been married before so a large wedding isn't important to him. Simple appeals to me too. This is why I brought up the hat issue above.

Answer 1

you can have a memorable wedding , ask a friend if he/she can be a photographer, shop around for cake an hall, try to make id a day other than weakened, since it's more expensive , the time to have the wedding chose winter or spring, since hall and bakeries are less busier, it will be you best time but not best time of the year, God luck and congratulations

Answer 2

You can still have a memorable wedding, even if it is through the JP. Have the most important people be there with you and then have a large reception. Even though you wont be getting married in a church, you can make the reception a place where you can decorate it the way you want- in your own style. If you hubby would feel more comfortable wearing a hat- make the reception a fun one and have ALL the guests wear funky hats! Your dad can still give you away, and the day will be great, celebrating your new union.

Answer 3

You shouldnt have any problem getting a minister to perform a ceremony at a place of your choosing , I reallly dont understand this whole hat thing , I mean who is he going to hide it from in 10 years , just face it or fix it . Obviously you are not that concerned about it , and does he plan on staying out of pictures for the rest of his life ? that seems very sad , Your dad should have the experience of giving you away , but nowhere is it written that it must be down an aisle , sounds like a very sensible way to start your life together , I have never understood why it is that couples who really cant afford it have an elaborate wedding , when that money could be well spent towards a home or a life together , much different than someone who can afford both . Good luck dear ..

Answer 4

You can have a intimate wedding with just the two of you, his kids, and both of your parents. Then have a great reception with a huge guest list... but here's my question: Why does it matter to not have a lot of people at the wedding, but it's okay at the reception? If it's just the pictures he's worried about- then don't have them. Or make it a themed wedding (like old day "gangster" or something that will allow him to wear a hat as part of the costume).

Answer 5

Men do not wear hats indoors. I suppose he culd wear a hat for an outdoor wedding.

If you have a larger group of people attending the reception and a small group for the ceremony, your main piece of the invitation should invite people to the wedding reception, and then you insert a ceremony card ONLY for the people who you are invitation to the ceremony. You have to make sure to get the etiquette right.

Answer 6

Is your own living room big enough for a small, very small vow exchange? Your dad could give you away that way, or he could even give you away in front of a JP.
Sence a brides parents are suppose to endure the cost of their daughters wedding, ask that they do allow you a bigger reception. That will help you feel you had a wedding full of memories. and Not be so costly.

Answer 7

Sounds like you should keep it simple, small and unique. It's your wedding, do what you want.

Everyone likes to go just for the reception anyway: open bar, free food and entertainment. That's what everyone goes for really. :)

I'm sure it will be memorable...that night! ...or the honeymoon. You 2 are the ones that make it special, not all the glits and glamour.

Check out - http://www.weddinginformer.com

Answer 8

why don't you do Vegas? if your parents want to walk you down the aisle they can go with you. they have helicopter flights to the grand canyon where you can get married. when you come back you could have a small reception. it's different, memorable, small and intimate, and it's great for people that love the outdoors. congratulations!