Is he controlling because I'm not committed?

Question

I've been in a relationship for five years. He wants to get married, but I'm hesitating. He is not abusive, but is very controlling. I can't tell if it is because he senses my doubt and always feels as if he has to push things ahead, or if it's just the way that he is and I need to get out.

Answer 1

Believe me, I know what you are going through, only I am married to the guy!
If everything has to be his way, or he whines and says you don't love him, get out while you can.
I have been married to the same man for 32 years. It has taken me until now to realize I am living in "HIS WORLD" not "OUR WORLD".
If you feel like he is controlling you, watching what you do, who you talk to, where you go and with whom, wants to know how long you will be gone, what did you talk about when you were gone, did you realize he was waiting for you? What is the matter with you, are the other people more important than he is in his mind!

Run, don't walk for the door!
A relationship is to be a 50/50 thing, you both contribute to the feelings, future dreams, happiness, love and possibly marriage, jobs, kids (in the future). If you realize that he is controlling you, or you feel this way, it damages your self image! You have to ask yourself "Does he let me be the person I want to be? Or am I being the person he has made me into!" The answer should give you an idea of what has to be done.

If you feel too afraid or weak to stand up to him, for fear that you are going to lose him, so what, you have already lost yourself!

Think long and hard about your decision. If you don't like the way things are going and you want them to change but he doesn't, then maybe you should go on your own.

Let him find someone else to take control over. You take control of your own life. It may be difficult at first, but in the end, you will be feeling positive about yourself, and you don't know what you can accomplish as an individual!
But you have the opportunity to find out!

Good luck!
Hope things work out for you!

Answer 2

Controlling does not 'go away'. If that's what you want out of life go for it, but you had better ask yourself if you are better off with him or without him......