I have been going with my boyfriend for 4 months, I know he loves me completely. One thing is though, he is still friends with his ex. And during the breakup of his last girlfriend (not the ex in question) she helped him through it, and he was thankful and promised her sex in return. (she still loves him btw, even though he won't go back with her). then he found me, but he still wants to keep his promise to his ex, saying that though he does not necessarily want to, this is just because he always wants to keep his promises, and keep his honor. he says once we are married he will honor me just as much. I think it was stupid to promise this when he didn't know what the future would bring, and I told him that I think his promise is null and void and he can't be held to it because he has a girlfriend now. I consider it cheating still, even though he will only be "having sex" instead of "making love." please give me an opinion and/or give me some points of arguments to show my point
2006-10-01 05:32:24 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I should also mention that we are in a long distance relationship for the next year, and believe me it is killing me too. I know that he has not cheated me on me yet, I trust him. I trust him because he is always completely honest with me (too honest sometimes thats how I know).
I know mostly girls have replied to my question, but I would like to hear the opinions of some other guys out there too. Completely honest ones. Also, How much do you actually think about sex? and How much do you actually think about (but not actually doing) having sex with random girls passing by on the street?
2006-10-01 05:54:45 · update #1
I understand about keeping promises, but that is one that is not need to be kept! Im sure your man loves you very much. But, when you are with someone, that is who you are with, and nobody else! Sex??? To me its not about him promising that, he probally wants to. If you truley love someone with all your heart you DONT have sex with anyone else!NOBODY!!!! I hope he does not go through with this. This will be bad for your relationship, maybe you could get past it, but in most cases, it will cause you not to trust him. You will be thinking he is doing it more often after that! Do whats best for you, just be careful! If he truley loves you he wont do it!
2006-10-01 06:05:48 · answer #1 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has all the good answers doesnt he. He's too good for you hun....at lying. He's going to run rings around you. I'd give up and move on because he's a divorce in the making before you've even married.
Is this truly what you wanted for yourself...growing up? A man that is silly and still groping around for reasons to suck you in? A man that doesnt know what he wants? A man that would root his grandma if it meant he kept a promise?
Let me tell you that a man who does NOT want to pillage...has emotional drawbacks.....their dicky-di-dos do not work when they have repulsion against the freeforallfucker......so if he's even contemplating this and KNOWS his willy is up for it...he has no regrets. If he has no regrets that way...he wont have any after you are married either....you will be giving him a "get Out Of Jail" card for free.
No marriage, worthy of everafter has a guy wanting to pork someone else.....so you MUST take it that he is not your everafter bloke. Even if he denies her NOW....it will only be because someone else has dictated terms...ie you, me or a dog inbetween.
He has a deeper feeling/ego that he will kill or hurt someone if he doesnt sex them up. So, the next female who gives him the hard word....ouch...how low could he be to NOT to do the deed. You are at home with bubbies and have shuffed him off due to tiredness and fatness or skinniness....so he has a DUTY to perform...its not his, its hers....you dont matter because you are his best buddy?
He wants to keep a promise...so let him...and remember where his member has been. You want her herpes/Aids or slicky juices coming into you...is up to you. I would also take it as a "free" card to play yourself AND tell him that. One free **** deserves another....yours...so do choose a hunky guy. If he doesnt like it he can bugger off.....and you can do the hunky guy instead.
2006-10-01 12:58:12 · answer #2 · answered by Scully 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, what a catch.
I have three nice guy friends who have just totally given up on dating. And every jerk and user has women standing in line. Go figure.
Hey little lady, you should dump your player boyfriend for even considering it a possibility that you would be such a fool. I know it can be hard to be objective in a relationship. But once in a while you gotta step back and pretend the facts are separate from your feelings. This guy is at the very least a little bit evil.
2006-10-01 12:47:46 · answer #3 · answered by hankthecowdog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves you, he wouldn't want to "honor" his promise. He's just telling you what he thinks will make him look like the "good guy" for cheating on his girlfriend. He's trying to put a positive spin on it so you will let him do it. I would tell him if he wants to honor is promise, fine, but you won't be waiting for the sloppy seconds, you'll find a man that will be true you, not an ex.
2006-10-01 12:42:29 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The people with sex in their head 'all the time' are those that aren't getting any or enough. The irony. Anyway I don't know whether he is saying that because it's true or just to justify cheating on you, but either way just point it out it's either "me or her". Hell he could be doing other women FOR A LIVING (i.e. porn actor) and if you consider it a break of trust or partnership then you won't want to put up with the behaivor.
2006-10-03 18:43:26 · answer #5 · answered by deusdenton 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its cheating. If the girl was a friend to him she should respect you being in his life and not want him to return the favour of sex! If you have to argue with him for it - let him go. Chances are maybe he doesn't mind screwing her. If he goes he is not worth your time. If he doesn't to respect you then good stuff, keep him around longer. Your bf needs to decide whats more important in his life you or a ridiculous promise to a friedn - who is his ex.... Why torture yourself.
2006-10-01 12:38:20 · answer #6 · answered by jovy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your boyfriend is completely insane ! If u are not really sure about this guy ,I suggest, you can end this at that. Do u think, you can believe a guy who wants to keep a promise of "having sex for honour".
2006-10-01 12:37:32 · answer #7 · answered by poloneck20 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is cheating, and its pitiful hes trying to use his honor as an excuse to screw someone else. What kind of person says "Ok, you helped me, I will screw you in return!" thats...just crazy and weird. Do not put up with it, he will use it against you repeatedly if you do. If my bf did this to me, hed be out on his *** right away. You are smarter than that, and hes just trying to put one over you... Get rid of him now.
2006-10-01 13:28:31 · answer #8 · answered by Ms.B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is a damn good excuse TO CHEAT ON YOU.. dont let him do it if he really loved you he wouldnt even be thinkig of a promise he made to his EX he is not going to spend the rest of his life with her so why should he care what she thinks if he broke his promise. i bet he wouldnt like it if you did that.
2006-10-01 12:38:00 · answer #9 · answered by sunflowerchick 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, he's playing you BIG TIME!! Run, don't walk, out the door and thank your lucky stars you found about him now. If he really loved you, he wouldn't even want to have sex with someone else. Dump this jerk NOW!!!!!!!!
2006-10-01 12:39:39 · answer #10 · answered by Judy K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋