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i dont want to end up like the other 5 girls in my junior class that have a kid. but i want to have sex with my boyfriend, but hten at the last minute i get too nervous and back out. i want toknkow everything about havin sex for teh first time. the hurt the pain the risks the good things everything about it. help please. i dont want to lose ron. (hes not pressureing me)( i just want to and he is waitin for me. but i dont want to keep him waitin too long to where he leaces. we have been dating for 7 months and i thinkit is time. but am scared.

2006-10-01 05:27:52 · 18 answers · asked by jenn 2 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

18 answers

If you are unsure....WAIT!!! And if he leaves you because you want to wait, he never deserved you. He will respect you more, if YOU RESPECT YOU MORE! I'm a 34 yr. old female, so I've been there, done that. If you really love him, wait. If you rush into sex and realize after the fact you weren't ready, it could definitely ruin the relationship.

2006-10-01 05:32:52 · answer #1 · answered by faithinaction1465 1 · 0 1

Right im going to give you some good sound advice. Im 19 yeasrs old and have been in two serious long term relationships.

first of all i was 17 just turned when i lost my viriginity , i did it only knowing that we trusted and loved each other we didnt do it just cos everyone else was. Youre saying you get too nervous this would prove that youre not really ready for a big commitment like this.

Once you have had sex for the first time there is no going back you are not a virgin anymore and you might live to regret this later on in life

Now for the gory bits - sex for the first time hurts! its not all its cracked up to be you may even bleed a little and can be sore for a while afterwards. There are risks such as the condom breaking, slipping off etc. and if that is your only form of birth control then you have to be prepared to deal with this. This happened to me lucky we were old enough to deal with it in an appropriate way.

There are some good bits such as a nice feeling of closeness, and that you are giving yourself to someone you love and trust

hope this helps

and remember having sex is not a race its something to do when you are ready not your friends

x

2006-10-01 06:26:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Don't sell yourself short. If you're not ready, you're not ready - and it's pretty clear your heart is telling you you're not ready.

Seven months is nothing. Junior in high school is young - you have plenty of time.

If there are 5 girls in your class who have kids that's a pretty clear message - none of you are ready. You're not ready until you can financially and emotionally support a child - and by that I mean pay for school all the way through college, for medical insurance, for food, for rent/mortgage, etc. And emotionally - do you still run to your mom, grandma, aunty for emotional support? Are you ready to live on your own, work, and support this child - with no help from the father, the government, or the taxpayers? Change filthy diapers at 2 am - every night - and again 20 minutes later - and breast feed the child? Every night for a year, and then for another year or more after that? And, god forbid, what if the child has a developmental disability? Are you ready to deal with that? Can you give up your life for your child's?

Yes, I'm being extreme. But if you've got to ask the question in a place like this then you ar too darn young and not anywhere close to being ready to make the emotional commitment sex requires - not to mention to being ready to deal with the consequences

2006-10-01 05:37:47 · answer #3 · answered by curiousones 2 · 0 0

Theres a reason your red flags are going off. It's called Womens Intuition. You obviously cherish being a virgin. Which in this day and aids, is wonderful.

Your fear of getting pregnant is very logical. Even condoms are not 100% full proof that you wont get pregnant, and the only way to do that is abstinance.

Dont rush into anything until your absolutely ready. Your asking questions that show that even though your hormones want to..your mind is thinking otherwise. You need to be smart, do a whole body check. Get your hormones to think with your mind, not think with your hormones.

I lost My virginity at 17. I thought it would be this great wonderful thing. It wasn't. I walked away disappointed. I wouldnt want anyone to see that happen to them. Not saying that it will happen to you, just My experience.

You want to know about sex, ok..lets go into it. If your a junior than youve heard sex talks before. The mans penis goes into the vagina and 9 months later they have a baby..blah blah blah...Now lets get into the true thing that happens.

When a man enters a woman that has not had sex, theres a ring that is on the inside of the vagina. The Hymen. It has to be broken. Which means that it can be pretty uncomfortable at first. As the motions begin, and the fluids becomming more lubricating the pain eases. Usually rather quickly, but afterwards your left sore, and the bf, has to leave and go home. Your left with wanting to cuddle, because of the adrenalin, and endorphens that have set off during the actual act of sex. Alot of times right after sex for the first time the woman will bleed. Spot, nothing huge, but its becaues of the Hymen breaking.

After that you think it shows on your face that your no longer a virgin...like its written above your head that you had sex for the first time. Then as an automatic reaction whether a condom was used or not, it comes time for your period and its late..so you think your pregnant, and start worring, what if...what if...what if..only to sigh that huge sigh of releif that your not.

In your last sentance you say, " i think it is time, but am scared" You think..that doesnt mean you absolutely know beyond a shadow of a doubt. Hun before you engage into sex..you need to know beyond a shadow of a doubt.

2006-10-01 05:51:58 · answer #4 · answered by Enigma 2 · 0 0

No no no!!!!! You dont need to have sex this soon. You should just hold out.
What are you going to do after he gets what he wants and breaks up with you? Wouldnt you rather have sex with someone you are going to be with for the rest of your life and save that speical moment for you true love. You are a junior in high school and you are going to have tons of more boyfriends. You are not ready for this. Dont give in like all the other girls did. You might wish you have never done this. I dont think its a good idea darlin! Reallly take it from me. Its a mistake! And really if it scares you then you shouldnt be doing it. You dont wanna have a kid do ya? Dont listen to your boyfriend or all these other people that think its okay... Because it is not. In the bible it says to wait untill you are married. Which not everyone goes by that. BUT you could at least wait untill you have been with someone for a year or so!!!!! Why buy the cow when you are getting the milk for free? And it wont feel good for you... He'll get off yeah... But you wont... and then you will hate yourself for doing it !

Please think the thru very well...

2006-10-01 05:32:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 1

to tell you the truth, seven months isnt a long time at all....give this relationship more time...yes, you will be nervous the first time and many times after that. If this guy isnt pressuring you, he's a good guy and understands that you want to wait....believe me, when you;'re ready you will know. if you are feeling all these feelings about it now, then you are deffinately not ready. Seeign all those girls in your junior class should remind you of all the bad things that can happen.Sex isnt everything....it's only about 2% of the total relationship! maybe you should talk to your boyfriend about....good luck

2006-10-01 05:39:34 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

There is nothing wrong with being scared. It is quite normal and obviously you have your parents to thank for feeling this way.

The moment that you desire outweighs your concern, you will consummate this relationship, if you allow it. This does not mean that you should be irresponsible and not protect yourself from all of the possibilities, these being, disease, or bringing a person into this world. If the latter happens, that person deserves at the very least, what you had...that is a good upbringing.

So go ahead, be nervous, but be responsible.

2006-10-01 05:34:41 · answer #7 · answered by Bob A 2 · 0 0

ok first,
If you don't want to be like the others girls that had a kid, one word: PROTECTION. Take condoms,...

Second, if you feel that your body is stressed or not ready, don't force you to have sex. I had a friend that did it when she felt force but it hurts her a lot. So relax,... If you do something before having sex, that will excite your body, go ahead, it will help you for your first time and any time after.

The most of the people thinks that the first time will hurt, but it is not. It should be the most wonderful time...

2006-10-01 05:33:06 · answer #8 · answered by Lu 2 · 0 0

I know what you mean but the reason why you feel that way is becos ur not ready and u shouldn't do it if ur not ready but u may think that ur ready to do it with ur bf becos u have been with him for 7 months and now u started to feel horny becos of those hormones which is normal but its something u need to control first and think about if this is what u really want to do? and i think u should save this precious gift to someone u really want to give it to preferably wait until after marriage as ur husband will think this will be the icing on the cake!

2006-10-01 05:35:00 · answer #9 · answered by olive_sugar21 1 · 0 0

Hiya

Here is a link to a good website that gives you some things to think about and discuss with your partner so that you can decide whether you are ready for sex, that you are aware about contraception, and how it can effect your relationship. The site is non judgemental either way and quite balanced.
It is normal to be nervous deciding whether to have sex for the first time - actually with any new partner. But it is also meant to be enjoyable, safe and loving.

Heres the link
http://www.pamf.org/teen/sex/virginity/readyornot.html

Good luck.

2006-10-01 05:33:51 · answer #10 · answered by Bebe 4 · 0 0

I think if you really want to do it, first get on birth control. If you dont plan on havin kids the next five years i recommend the intrauteral one. Its a little "t" that they insert in your uterus, and it is 99.999% effective. And of course a condom. The pain depends on the size of his,..... memeber. It will hurt the first time, but its a good pain. My biggest advice for you though, is make sure Ron is the one you definatly wanna give your virginity to, dont just do it so you know he wont leave, cuz men will leave regardless if they really want to. Do it for you, cuz you never forget your first time.

2006-10-01 05:33:16 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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