She tried to commit suicide at school in the bathroom by taking pills and she is also a cutter or self mutiliator. They're the best of friends my daughter is handling this ok she is happy her friend is getting help but what should we expect from her friend-do I still have sleepovers or let my daughter sleep over her house like they use to-this is all new to me I just want the little girl to get well (she is 12) I just need some serious advice please
2006-10-01 05:15:30 · 17 answers · asked by Jazzy 5 in Health ➔ Mental Health
I've been through it. Sometimes I wonder(as well as most of my old class mates) how I managed to survive. Between the massive doses of pshyciatric drugs, and the pain I was trying to deal with I almost died a few times. But I had my friends. To some the scars draw attention and it's mostly surface. It's like, if you don't understand why I'm doing this to myself then you don't care. But it's wierd because it's also like saying, don't mess with me. It takes a real connection to even get close to people with heavy problems. Sounds like your daughter has those bonds and her friend needs her. Sure she should sleep over. Chances are she only acts out when she's pissed off or alone and depressed. If she's social she's less likely to drag herself down. Just monitor her moods and if she's too upset when she comes over end the visit politely. And welcome her back when she feels better. If you hugged the girl before keep hugging her and let her know you don't judge her. And don't talk about her negatively around your daughter, be positive and concerned, but don't nag. Keep the lines of communication open and you should be able to see if it's affecting your daughter harmfully. Not to mention she'll be more prone to tell you if her friend is acting desperate. Hopefully she'll get control soon, especially if she has a good support network.
2006-10-01 05:34:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Persumably her parents have taken her to a psyciatrist. Her doctor will put her on medication that will stablize her moods, and keep the disorder under control. It will probably take a little while to get the medications right, but once they do, she'll be able to do everything that other kids can do, except she'll have to remember to take a pill every day. I had a friend in high school who was bipolar, and I didn't even find out until I'd known him for a couple years.
The biggest problem for bipolar people is staying on their meds. There are a number of reasons people will go off them. People report that the medications make them feel numb. They may also miss the manic part of their cycle, as most bipolar individauls agree that being manic is quite fun. People with any psyciatric illness will often go off their meds because they feel they are cured don't need the pills anymore (of course, they only feel better because the meds are keeping the illness under control). And finally, people, especially kids, can simply forget to take their meds.
So when your daughter's friend next sleeps over at your house, her parents will probably ask you to make sure she takes her pill (probably either in the morning or right before bed). It's not a big deal or anything, you'll just have to remember to give it to her. Many kids are pretty good about remembering these things on their own (often, they want to be normal and want to make as little fuss as possible about it), and people who were diagnosed fairly recently are a lot more likely to understand how important it is to take their meds. Ultimately, what you should expect is that she'll be able to everything she's always done and the only difference is that when she's in your care it might fall to you to make sure she takes a pill.
2006-10-01 07:30:53 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tweedy Bird is right on! Research this WITH your daughter. Get involved and show you care about BOTH of them. (How would you feel if it were YOUR daughter and her friends were cut off?) This little girls needs so much love, help and understanding.
Do you know that self-mutilation is often used to block out mental pain? It hurts so much to cut your skin that the pain of that blocks out the other for a while. It can be addictive when there is nothing else that stops the mental pain.
I am not saying to not interfere if you even think your daughter may be in danger --- but do it from an educated point of view instead of the stigmatized one that we are most familiar with.
Good Luck
MGBWY
2006-10-01 05:41:19 · answer #3 · answered by Teresa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello......... I am not sure what to tell you, but do you know whether or not your daughter's friend is being medicated for not only her depressive symptoms but her mania as well? This is key because it has been shown that antidepressants can and do trigger mania in the bipolar person. My daughter is bipolar[diagnosed 7 years ago] and her many relapses have shown me that taking the correct meds and being properly diagnosed is an enormous hurdle. Your daughter's friend is so young and she will have many struggles to go through before her life can regain some normalcy. My daughter had many friends before she first became ill, but most of them have fallen by the wayside, mostly because of the fear of the unknown. It is terribly difficult to be supportive of someone who's actions rarely make any sense,and it hurts when you tell them that you love them yet they still go about making really bad choices in spite of your love and support of them. Your daughter's friend needs all the support she can get at this point, and the friendship she has with her is most likely a lifeline for her. You should be very proud that your daughter does not want to abandon her friend.However, you must explain to her that she [your daughter] in all likelihood is not going to be able to "get her through" any of it, or be able to talk her out of doing things that are risky or stop her from harming herself. The best thing that you and your daughter can do is be as supportive as possible without allowing what's happening to your friend become overwhelming and all consuming. I personally felt very guilty that no matter what I said or did to try to help my daughter , I did nothing but antagonize her and make things worse. I cried and felt so helpless! Over time my little patient has come to terms with her illness, apologized for ever hurting me and thanked me for always being there for her. It has been an incredibly difficult journey. Just remember that it isn't up to you or your daughter whether or not your friend gets well. It is up to you to keep your daughter safe on an an emotional level though. Being there for her friend does have it's rewards, yet it may exact a very high price emotionally. Can you imagine if your daughter's friend succeeds the next time she tries to commit suicide? This will be the most devastating thing your daughter will ever go through.......Life altering in fact. I wish for you all the best and tell your daughter that she is to be admired for her loyalty . She sounds like a fine young woman ..............bye
2006-10-01 07:42:41 · answer #4 · answered by Christie L 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would have a close eye on your daughter to make sure she doesn't get influenced by it. But by the looks of it you might want to just ask questions sometimes to your daughter to see how things are going. If it were me I would not leave the girls alone in a house together which I am sure you would not do. Also take into consideration that your daughter is quite young to be around this. Yes, you know this is you daughter's best friend, but still you may want to kind of seperate them for atleast a day.
2006-10-01 05:25:14 · answer #5 · answered by pixelpinkprincess 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are sincere in wanting to know what to do, buy a book on the subject and both you and your daughter learn all you can. You can best help this child by equipping yourselves with knowledge. As your daughter's friend has just begun therapy, she is still unstable at this time. If you are comfortable having her over, continue. Make it clear that she is welcome. She needs friends and support. Be sure to consult with the girl's parents. Let them know your feelings and uncertainty. They are learning about Bipolar disorder too and may have their own ideas about sleepovers, etc.
2006-10-01 05:28:12 · answer #6 · answered by TweetyBird 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let them keep being friends. The girl is probably getting help by taking some medication. Just make sure your daughter remains supportive. Many successful people have bipolar, it is not the end of the world. Ted Turner, a business tycoon has bipolar and he is a millionaire.
2006-10-01 05:25:09 · answer #7 · answered by BabyJ 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not panic! The most important thing for this girl right now is support. My son was diagnosed at age nine and virtually all of the parents I told about it looked at me like they couldn't believe it. To make matters worse for his already suffering esteem, his friends were not allowed to play with him anymore. How cruel can it get? Aren't the mentally ill punished enough in society?
Educate yourself, do not leave the child unattended in your home. When she is properly medicated and not in crisis she is fine to be with your daugher without supervision. Teach your daughter about bipolar, educate her that this is a genetically influenced disease - it is not her friend's fault. You would be a saint in my eyes if you embraced this child the best way you can - but be realistic, do not go overboard. Have healthy boundaries and accept that there are limitations for her and try not to be overly sad or upset - read about it, it's an eye opener.
http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2003/11/11/eveningnews/main582957.shtml
http://www.connectwithkids.com/tipsheet/2002/82_jul24/bipolar.html
Good luck to you! And thank you for asking,
Dana
2006-10-01 05:46:22 · answer #8 · answered by DanaZ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk to her mother to determine if she's being treated and how severe the depression is.
At 12 your daughter is much to young to be just thrown into this.
Then you make the decision every day how they should interact...with very little alone time.
It's a terrible thing to happen to your daughters friend but your main concern is to protect your daughter both mentally & physcially.
2006-10-01 05:19:24 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother was bi-polar, he tried to cope with medication, but he ended up committing suicide 2 years ago. I hope that girl is getting treatment. There is hope, but not a lot of it, for new drugs. Encourage your daughter to be supportive, but tell her to keep an eye out for destructive thoughts and actions, and report them to you right away. There could be signs that she is going to suicide again sucessfully.
2006-10-01 05:21:50 · answer #10 · answered by theBomb 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋