My husband says he doesn't feel "connected" to me or our children. He goes through the motions but doesn't feel happy or feel he can let go and enjoy himself fully around us.
It is one thing not to feel connnect to me but the kids is a whole issue on it's own.
Does anyone have experince with hoiw to help or handle this? Have you felt this way? What changed it for you? He says he wants to feel connnected. He is upset that he can paly with our kids and doens't seem to feel the joy he think he should feel or sees the fun that I have with them.
With me he syas he has never felt like he could totally let go and laugh and have fun? I can hardly imagine why he even asked to marry me. He says he loves us but....
He is 36 , we've been married 5 years and the kids are both under 3
2006-10-01 05:06:34 · 11 answers · asked by Sandra C 2 in Health ➔ Mental Health
Apathy being unable to enjoy thing you used to enjoy are symptoms of depression very often underestimated if it doesn't come with sadness and melancholy... It is very likely he is suffering from it.
Your husband gave the two very important steps towards getting better: (1) Being aware of it (sometimes the person doesn't stop to question himself about this changes) and (2) he shared it with you.
It is admirable that he shared this feelings with you. Firstly, because any person feels ashamed when he/she feels like that and secondly, because he is a man and men have more problems to share their feelings.
I think he is desperate and this will help him to be open receive professional help. I recommend you to go to a psychologist. He/she will help you both to not to feel guilty with the situation, to face it and to solve it.
2006-10-01 05:26:41 · answer #1 · answered by Nena 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He needs counseling right a way. Don't question him. Don't say anything or do anything that you think give him the pressure. (You may not intentionally to do or say but in his mind you may have). Do everything that you normally do with your children. Count your husband in but don't expect anything from him (this sound contrary, but please try to be patience). He needs to find himself first. Right now he's lost, depressed and he needs all the support of the family that once mean so much to him. Hang in there and try to make it work again. He must love you very much for you have been married for 5 years and lot more years to come. Good luck.
2006-10-01 05:22:04 · answer #2 · answered by TheOne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he has depression, which can manafest itself in many ways.. and as a result he has disconnected.
He needs to go and see the Dr about it, have a chat with him and take any medications that are prescribed
But it could also be that he has come to the crossroad where he feels it is time to leave you all behind. maybe for a while , maybe for ever and a marriage counsellor may help with that.
He may still love you...but being in love and in the moment , it is obvious , he is not there
check it out with the Dr
2006-10-01 05:13:12 · answer #3 · answered by Blondie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His 'disconnection' can come from so many places. Unhappiness at work, or with his blood family could cause this. Depression can cause this. Since your husband cannot open up with you, he needs to be able to open up to someone. When the two of you can be alone, no phone, no children, no interruptions.....tell him you want him to get counseling...not for you, but for him...that his emptiness is not a normal feeling for him.
I pray for all of you, dear one, and that your family gets back on track, for all your sakes.
2006-10-01 05:16:00 · answer #4 · answered by rrrevils 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
duty please. once you first fall in love with somebody, that's the buzz of somebody and something new. you experience so excited and refreshed. that is a large feeling. yet, it continuously looks to vanish after time. it is going to vanish with this new female too, and lower back, you would be interior an analogous boat. you have babies and a spouse who in all probability love you very a lot. attempt to reconnect with your spouse. seek for counseling. set aside time for in basic terms the two one among you to discern what's substantial on your courting and what you're able to do to make the different experience enjoyed lower back. Take time to talk each and on a daily basis. carry one yet another's hand lower back. you would be so satisfied to have your little family members all togther in case you may artwork it out with your spouse. I want you each and all of the suited.
2016-12-26 06:27:43 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree, it sounds like he is suffering from depression. Suggest to him that he speak to a professional (counselor or psych doctor).
The fact that he feels he can open up to you about it is encouraging, but you can't be the one to figure out his issues.
Keep the lines of communication open and be as supportive as possible. And good luck!
2006-10-01 05:14:41 · answer #6 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please print this out and show him what you wrote. He needs to know how you feel.
My theory on marriage and kids:
A couple meets. They don't know why they get along, but they get married and have kids. After the kids are born, the man/woman has accomplished his/her biological destiny. Man/woman seeks another person with more in common than merely finding the right physical attributes to pass on to offspring.
Make sense?
2006-10-02 12:57:05 · answer #7 · answered by shlomogon 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
who does he feel connected to? why? what makes him so comfortable around those people?
and if there isnt any one whom he is comfortable with then he needs some counseling- and go to church and find the love of God- that will usually open someones heart to be happy and joyful every day with any one- its all about "Love"
2006-10-01 05:11:09 · answer #8 · answered by tbaby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's suffering from depression.
Take him to see a professional.
2006-10-01 05:09:38 · answer #9 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's the commonest problem actually: do you feel your connectedness to everything in this Universe? I mean all of it.
Well... I've said all I can.
2006-10-01 06:00:39 · answer #10 · answered by unseen_force_22 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋