Question for Buddhists?

Question

How is it possible to completely rid yourself from attachments? Especially when it comes to people you like/love?

Answer 1

There is a difference between true love and "clinging attachment." A clinging attachment as they speak of is an unhealthy dependence on others that forgets the temporary nature of all life and conditions. Clinging attachment also causes us to see people unrealistically, overstimating and emphasizing their "good" qualities insetad of seeing them as a person, just like us we put them on a pedestal. This type of clinging attachment causes much suffering for us when people die or leave our lives, because we did not keep in mind that all things are temporary. This is not negativity, it is seeing things realistically so that we can appreciate them in a healthy way instead of an unrealistic one which brings our whole world crashing down when situations end. Bottom line is that our life is like a play, and people have certain roles to play and then they are gone. We must accept this because it is reality. Anything else is living a lie.

To have a healthy relationship, we must find worth, peace and harmony within ourselves so we don't ruin our relationships by leaning too heavily on other people. When we can establish all the security we require within ourselves, the deaths of other people can be viewed realistically thereby causing us less suffering and anguish.

We are not meant to be unhappy or to live in a fantasy world, and Buddhism aims to make or views more healthy by accepting reality and bcome secure within ourselves. In that way, we can truly love other people and make the most out of our time with them because we understand we may not have them for the rest of our lives. When they die, we can mourn appropriately but without being utterly crushed and wasting away as many people do when their loved ones die.

Answer 2

When you really can get rid of attachments and you really understand the true nature of life, you will see everything is unstable. And you will know there is nothing actually to attach.

After you found the real truth, you will see nothing last forever. Example, a human body- in science cells are created and destroyed everytime. So we call body is a putrid body. To make it look nice, we have to keep it clean everyday, we have to feed it everyday, we have to look after it everyday. So after you really found out that, you will feel like you don't want any putrid body anyomore. You will see everybody is same, decaying everyday. So by this way you won't hold on to any of the items.

Another thing- after you found truth, you can see there is nothing core in human body or things. Example - a body is a system combined by many types of flesh,eye,mucus,blood,vein,muscles,hair,nail,skin and so on. So there is no core in the body. No body wants a body piece by piece. A body looks nice because it is together and well maintained. Do you think you will love a very pretty, very dirty girl who never bathe and all sorts of smell comming out from her? No right? So what you want? Think again...

Lets say your beloved girlfriend is dead and you are devastated. But do you want her body? Or you want her soul? or Do you want some part of it? Worse- you don't want it after it putrid right? Thus, telll me what you want out of it?

What I am trying to say here is you actually have nothing to attach when you see the truth. So as your lovers.

Answer 3

The only way to do it completely is to attain buddhahood/enlightenment. The goal is to work on dropping those attachments as much as possible. If you don't succeed in this life at least you will have a better life next time around and be that much closer to nirvana.

Answer 4

when it becomes clear to you that nothing is permenant.
fisrt off, you need to recognize the functions/ character of the deluded mind.
The deluded mind coming into contact with desirable objects leads to superstition producing more and more delusion. once the deluded mind comes into contact with the object of desire, delusions arise uncontrollably. That is why he thought it better to avoid such contact until his mind was tamed.
It is very difficult to maintain control in opposition to such influence. If you check up in your own life, I am sure that you will find many examples of this. Such influence is not limited to bad friends or good friends. In your life you have so many "teachers," people who feed you information that only adds to your delusions. Therefore it is very important to stay around those people who give you the right vibration, the wisdom vibration. This is much better than exposing yourself all the time to polluted, confused vibrations. But this does not mean that you give up completely on all misleading friends, hating them and having bad thoughts about them. No, this should not be your reaction. It is essential always to remain compassionate. Also remember that we are polluted already; our friends are not to blame for our delusions. Their influence just makes this pollution thicker and thicker.
In short, misconceptions and misinformation cause more delusion if the mind lacks discriminating wisdom-knowledge.
it is totally impossible for any object, any sentient being to be completely positive or completely negative. Everything has both positive and negative energy. It is only the obsessed mind that sees things in terms of black and white. There is a certain saying I heard in the West: "You hear what you want to hear." This is a very accurate psychological statement, a very good Dharma point.
Seeing some kind of desirable object, then, always involves an overestimation. Its good aspects are emphasized so much that you lose all judgment about it. Simultaneously, you view that object as if it were somehow self-existent. You conceive of it as something permanent, existing self-sufficiently the way it appears to you. You fail to see that the way it appears is actually a function of your own projections. Instead, you think that these exaggerated qualities come from the object itself rather than being what you have put onto the object from your own side. You do not see what has happened. This deluded projection covering the object is much thicker than make-up. Impermanent things are viewed as permanent. Objects being in the nature of suffering are thought of as the causes of happiness. And although all things lack true, independent self-existence, they are conceived of as having such self-existence.
You grasp onto something, perceiving and believing it to exist in a certain way, and as a result your delusions grow. The deluded mind becomes more powerful.....good news, bad news, heaven and hell, samsara or nirvana—is a manifestation of the mind.

"With all his attachments cut,
with the mind's urge all stilled,
calm, serene and happy is he,
for he has attained peace of mind."

Answer 5

By rejecting personal ego and taking the whole universe as a continuous stream of Karma, one can remove attachements to near and dears

But this detachment does not bring total ignoring...rather it enhances the quality of love towards all living beings

Answer 6

I do not believe this is the true goal of Buddhism. The goal is not to rid yourself of desire but find right desire and or attachment. There is a correlation between these two.

Answer 7

It has to do with enlightement. Once you reach the point where you realize everything is one and the same, attachment just doesn't matter anymore.

Answer 8

it IS a tough ASK
BUT , WHEN you master it
you WILL know YOURSELF
you WILL have PEACE
and A LOT MORE TIME.....

(NON-buddhist) ....