how do you think a parent should discipline his/her children?

Question

i'm not a parent so maybe my ideas are going nowhere
but i believe in corporal punishment and love & affection at the same time
my parents used to take a stick to slapped me everywhere while i had to stand on my knees whenever i was spoiled...and by spoiled i mean i wasn't really spoiled
i was punished whenever i didn't get A's in school or when i accidently wrecked things
i cried a lot as a child but somehow i learned to discipline myself
i admit i hated them a lot but at the same time i knew that they cared about me because after my punishment and after i showed sincere in my apologies, they would not say sorry but they would comfort me...so i couldn't hold a grudge against them
obviously that type of punishment isn't allowed anymore, but sometimes parents need to punish their kids and not let them get too spoiled...i leanred that life isn't fair when i was in grade 1

sorry about the long story
it's just i love kids, but i hate kids who are spoiled...makes me want to slap them and their parents

just to add....because i was diciplined that way
i never had the guts to behave badly at all...not even at home...i knew my consequences...and by grade 1 or 2, i knew that acting up gets me nowhere..so i never wanted to be spoiled

Answer 1

An occasional spanking can be very effective. A spanking should be firm and memorable!

Answer 2

Well..I don't have kids of my own..but I have worked with young children for a few years now. I have taken a few child dev. units as well. I've even gone to a handful of trainings dealing with all sorts of topics relating to kids, families, etc. This still doesn't make me any more of an expert though.

However, from my observations...perhaps the parents don't realize it because they love their children so much. But I see a lot of children acting spoiled, they cry and whine when they don't get their way. I think the parent does not set enough clear limitations or messages to their children. And they don't follow through. I think if you start off laying some ground rules that are consistent then there would be no need to spank children. Discipline doesn't have to be punishment or spanking. It can be stern rules that are always consistent.

Answer 3

I think it depends on the parents personal beliefs, and on the child as well. What works for one isn't always going to work for another. I worked in a daycare, and obviously we couldn't spank the children. We used time outs, and that always worked for us. It's about consistency with children. When you give them an If/then situation (If you throw another toy, then you will be in time-out), it's important to follow through with it. Also, it's VERY important for parents to stay on the same page. I know it's difficult sometimes, but when it comes to punishment, one must back the other, except in cases of abuse. NEVER question your partner/spouse in front of children, because then the children think they can too. There are certain cases where spanking can be warranted, i.e. when the child does something that is life threatening to him/herself or to someone else. It's important to be firm with children, but to make sure they know they are loved, no matter what they do.

Answer 4

Before I had kids, I always believed that I would not be a "spanker". I would use soothing tones and a loving voice to resolve any behavior problems. Perhaps a time out or two, but surely my reasonable, affectionate way of parenting would ensure reasonable, affectionate children. Having been presented with a choice of belts to be whipped with as a kid, I saw this as a terrible way to parent. Then, I had kids. 4 really rowdy, creative sometimes devious, but always surprising little Texans. And, now I'm a spanker. I only swat them on their seats with my open hand. I only use this when other measures have failed or they have done something particularly naughty. My kids spit and fart and act like kooks. But they also know how to behave themselves in public and address adults as Ma'am and Sir.

Answer 5

It's all in how you raise you kiids. If they are raised in in a way where there is alot of yelling, they are going to misbehave worse that if there wasnt that much yelling.
You need to show your children constant love and affection, and praise them when they do somthing good. If you do it this way, whenever your child does somthing wrong all you have to do is use a very firm tone of voice and tell them not to do that, and if they do it again put them in a time out. For older children take away privilages.
If you do it this way your child will not be used to yelling and when you use that tone of voice they will know that you mean buisness.
There is really no need for using violence with children because if you do then you are teaching them that it's ok to hit another person.

Answer 6

i'm not a determine, yet I even have 2 lots youthful sisters, and that i could not agree extra approximately young ones having an entire loss of understand for absolutely everyone and each little thing. even nonetheless i don't understand that it rather is oftentimes blamed fullyyt on human beings not being allowed to spank childrent anymore, it rather is extra of a entire loss of any discipline in any respect. My dad and stepmom spanked my little sisters whilst they have been youthful, and that they are nonetheless finished terrors. the situation that they had became right into a loss of consistent parenting. in specific circumstances they might get into hardship for some thing, and different situations they'd smash out with it. Or, my dad might get mad at them for some thing and their mom might say it became into wonderful, and vice versa. There are different common how you are able to discipline young ones, yet they don't paintings ok if a baby is authorized to have an entire theater gadget of their room with each and every video activity ever made and their very own cellular telephone to apply as they please. mothers and fathers would desire to study the thank you to decline to their young ones, and follow it. i understand, it rather is common for me to declare considering the fact that i've got not got young ones :-) I mean no disrespect to any mothers and fathers accessible, it rather is in simple terms my opinion, in line with my kin and not the rest.

Answer 7

My wife and I don't use any form of physical deterrent (spanking, slapping, etc.), but I do agree it has it's place, and some kids need that physical pain as a deterrent.

Unwaning consistency seems to work well for us, although it can be challenging. We use the word "no" an awful lot, forcefully when necessary, and remove our son from the situation that gets him in trouble (ex. when he tries to get into the DVD rack, I pick him up and move him away from it, facing him away from it).

Answer 8

i spank my kids too but i would never spank them bc they did not get As or if they done something by accident i think that is goin a little to far. like if he spills milk or whatever i make him clean it and tell him to be careful next time but i do not spank him for that. I am glad my parents never spank me for not getting good grades bc i have learning disablility and it takes me a long time to get it in my head so i got Cs sometimes even though i tried my butt off for higher grades. I spank for him throwing tantrums and being disreprectful and sometimes i use the corner though cause it works and things like that but never spank for things he does on accident i know when he does things on purpose and i know when he does them from accidents.
i do agree though that you do need to take care of children that are acting up in grocery stores or wherever they are showing bad behavior

Answer 9

Beating with a stick is just too harsh for my liking. A smack is ok, but using utensils I don't think is nessercary. As you yourself know getting beaten with a stick isn't going to get you A's in school. I agree spoiled kids are horrid as we all know the parents are too blame for that.

Answer 10

Sorry, but my belief is that corporal punishment and love & affection are incongruous. You wouldn't walk up to an adult friend, relative, or coworker and hit him or her if they did something you didn't like, would you? And say that you're doing it to teach them that you don't like that and not to do it again? I doubt if they would believe that was an expression of love/affection.......

I don't believe you have to hit children to discipline them. I'm a teacher and I also raised 3 wonderful kids of my own. I could count on one hand the number of times they were even given a little swat on the bottom.

Most of the time, our kids got in trouble for arguing or not sharing toys with each other while they played together. We responded by separating them all to their own rooms and making them sit in time-out by themselves for 10 or 15 minutes and then letting them try again to play nicely together.
As they got older, other things came up of course. Like not getting their homework done or making poor grades. Withdrawing priviledges seemed a much more sensible and kind way of teaching them what we expected of them than slapping them around.
When they got to be teens, none of them went thru any kind of rebellious stage. I've heard horror stories from other parents about the teen years, but I have none to share. I think it's because we raised them with love, respect, and GUIDENCE, not authoritarianism. We were parents, not policemen.

Children learn what they live. If you hit them, they learn it's ok to hit. I had friends who smacked their baby's little hands every time he reached for some pretty object on a table, etc. when he was in the crawling stage. RIDICULOUS!! When children are small like that, they have to investigate their environment to learn about it. Put your pretty, fragile stuff away for a couple of years until they're old enough to be told and to understand that some things aren't toys, and some things are breakable, and some things are not for them to handle and play with. Put safety plugs in the wall sockets. Put guards on the cupboard doors. You should have children because you want them, hopefully more than you want to see your precious home interior. As far as I'm concerned, people who aren't willing to adapt their lives or their homes to make a safe, comfortable place for the children to grow up shouldn't be having kids at all.
I know lots of adults that were hit as kids, "for their own good" or because they "deserved it". No child deserves to be hit. These adults now have poor self-esteem, anger management issues, and other emotional problems dealing with relationships, etc.
Hitting is not the way to go with discipline..........