He has stayed w/ my spouse, 18 yr old son on and off for past 20 yrs. Has been through 2 60 day treatment programs this year alone. Has worked on getting a a "good" job for over 2 mos. When he finally gets it, he relapses and screws it up. Our father, as well as his sponsor at AA both think he needs to be commited for at least 6 mos to a year. After a 6 day binge, he is willing to seek add'l help, but problem seems to always come up after he spends 2 mos. trying to get a job that once he gets it, he starts a binge, which is precisely what just happened. My husband no longer wants him to stay w/ us, he has no home, needs further treatment. I have researched what it takes to commit someone, but since he is willing to go for treatment, not an issue. Our dad thinks we can commit him and then we be the one to judge when he can be released. I have been his #1 enabler, but NO MORE. How to explain to dad this is not how commitment works? Can print out variety of research. HELP PLEASE!!
2006-10-01 04:06:11 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Diseases & Conditions ➔ Other - Diseases
One major thing that presents a big obstacle is that my brother has not been able to work for approx. past 7 years. Therefore, he is homeless! He never has been able to follow through with any type of after care treatment when we allow him to stay with us. When he relapses, it causes a great deal of havoc within our home, so NO MORE staying w/ us. Has had 2 relapses after his last 60 day treatment program which ended only 2 mos. ago. With no job, no insurance, he is only entitled to state sponsored rehab programs. To me, he needs to address psychological issues MORE than his alcoholic tendencies. ANY SUGGESTIONS OTHER THAN THE OBVIOUS ONES OF ME ATTENDING AL-ANON, OF CEASING TO BE HIS ENABLER ARE MORE THAN WELCOME!!! THANKS A BUNCH !!!
2006-10-01 04:15:14 · update #1
As of latest writing of this question, brother is once again going to go into treatment center/rehab for his alcholism.....do they provide adequate mental health counselling in these rehabs? Think he needs to focus more on the psychological issues he has that perhaps can lead him to drink.....any suggestions???
2006-10-07 06:55:08 · update #2
Since alocoholism/drug addiction is a disease, it's important to treat it like one! I "played" around for years before getting serious with my own addiction...i lost a great job and consequently couldn't hold a job...i lost two very close friends and a relationship over my disease...i started having multiple car accidents and i couldn't remember things i'd done...my situation had to get VERY bad and i lost more than i could ever have imagined...i was so anxiety-ridden, humiliated and fearful...from my own experience, it took consistency on a daily basis and a sponsor who wouldn't put up with my excuses...he holds me accountable daily for my decision to stay sober...he knows what it takes because he's been exactly where i've been...recovery isn't a hobby...looking back, i'm grateful for the stance my parents, siblings, employers and friends took because i was so self-centered and lazy...i never thought i'd be cut-off financially without a car or job...i use to be afraid of being evicted from my apt after losing my job...my sponsor always told me that The Salvation Army would take me but i'd have to GET A JOB to stay there...that scared the **** out of me because i knew that either way i was going to have to work...the only way i'd work is to stay sober...i'm sorry to ramble but i just want you to know that it has taken the loving support of others to help me get sober...now it's my turn to carry the message to someone else who is struggling with addiction...it's my insurance that i don't forget what it was like...we help each other...it's truly awesome!!!
i support you & your father's decision and know it's a very difficult time...if you'd like, run a Google search for drug addiction treatment...there is so much hopeful information out there...i wish your family only the very best over the coming months!
Peace, Johno
2006-10-07 15:14:35 · answer #1 · answered by Johno 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
This Site Might Help You.
RE:
Have 46 yr old brother who is severe alcoholic, despite 2-3 lengthy treatment programs. He can't take a job.
He has stayed w/ my spouse, 18 yr old son on and off for past 20 yrs. Has been through 2 60 day treatment programs this year alone. Has worked on getting a a "good" job for over 2 mos. When he finally gets it, he relapses and screws it up. Our father, as well as his sponsor at AA both...
2015-08-27 19:05:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If mental health issues are the primary factor, he needs to have that addressed and 12step programs are not set up for that.
I suffered from major depression and PTSD, I could get sober for a few months here and there, but my depression always led me back to the bottle. The folks in AA told me I was "on the pity pot" and told me I didn't need therapy or medication if I "worked a good program". Since I turned my back on AA and got some decent help, I've been sober over 5 years and have been working as a peer advocate for the dually diagnosed.
I'd suggest contacting NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness:
http://www.nami.org/Template.cfm?Section=Your_Local_NAMI&Template=/CustomSource/AffiliateFinder.cfm
and ask them. They can also point you in the direction of the closest ACT (Assertive Community Treatment) program.
2006-10-06 20:53:24 · answer #3 · answered by raysny 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was married to someone like this, and know from bitter experience that there is no hope for this. Your brother is fully self focused and is causing huge problems for everyone around him. He is an adult, let him take some responsibility himself. It is not your responsibility. I was also accused by AA of enabling my (ex) husband, but, you know, there are consequences to this situation for everyone, not just for the person with the drinking problem. My marriage ended long ago, he's still a drunk and has not ever held a job. He has managed to get disability payments from the government, but, as always, he is still drinking and still completely self absorbed. He has never made any effort to change, and he does not care who gets hurt to maintain his life style. All I can say is good riddance.
It is obvious to me that your brother has made you and your father feel guilty and responsible, all I can say is let him fall and take the consequences. It's about time after all these years, I feel for you!
2006-10-01 04:24:10 · answer #4 · answered by Nanneke 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Of course it is justice Country - age is just a number. I saw her on GMTV this morning and she was pretty fit and didn't look anywhere near her age. If she is doing a good job why stop her?
2016-03-19 08:12:35 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The alcohol is his way from running away from something. Probably a phobia. Sounds like a really big one! What he needs is psych help, not alcohol rehab help. That is not helping him identify and get help to deal with his major fear, or fears.
For example, I am absolutely terrified of heights. I cannot mentally WILL myself to walk near balconies, etc. on high buildings. The fear controls ME! Same with him. He cannot go to aa meetings and face his fears, learn to control them. THEY control HIM.
I also heard that hypnosis sometimes works well, too.
Good luck!! Hope this helps.
2006-10-01 04:12:00 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I don't really understand your question, but yes he should be commited for at least 6 months, and since he is willing it shouldnt be a problem.
2006-10-01 04:11:35 · answer #7 · answered by Sammy 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
dont turn him in,he will feel sorry for himself and might get worse.im 27,and an ******.my parents are heroin addicts.some family are drinkers too.i say, dont help him at all.tell the rest of the family not to either, when he realizes no one wants to help him ,he will want to help himself after he misses his family
2006-10-01 04:11:36 · answer #8 · answered by jackiegnac 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Join AlAnon. Learn about his disease, your dad too.
2006-10-01 04:13:45 · answer #9 · answered by kdv36 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋