I just took a test on friday and i found out im pregnant but i haven't told my boyfriend. I'm really scared because i promised him i was gonna be safe and i was gonna be okay..because i was on birth control and so he decided not to pull out but because he trusted me. I know i have ruined his trust of me. In the beginning of the relationship- he said if i was i should let him know (his choice would be abortion because we are both too young and have nothing to offer the child) and I agree. However every time i go to tell him- either something is wrong with his family or his friend died...and the relationship has been a bit rocky in the ppast month. im just scared and i don't know what to do.
2006-10-01 03:43:57 · 31 answers · asked by mariapican 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
just be honest with him. i mean the longer that you hide it the worse it might get. so i would just tell him and whatever happens happens.
I hope that helps
2006-10-01 03:45:18 · answer #1 · answered by polobaby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All right sweetie, so we're in a bit of a spot. But look, there's a right way to handle it and a wrong way. If you keep waiting to tell him, that by the time you do tell him, he might feel that you have been hiding it from him. There might be more trust issues built by that.
Even if you are on birth control, it is never 100% effective. Accidents happen. And "pulling out" is NEVER a good method. it fails 44% of the time in preventing pregnancy.
If you are choosing an abortion, which is a perfectly valid choice, there is a time period in which you must do that, before it is too late. You need to go ahead and make some calls on that now, to Planned Parenthood. There are 2 options, which they can fully explain to you.
Adoption is another good option. Some families are able to find a family member who might raise the child. Or you might pursue an "open adoption" which means you wil meet the family that will raise the child, and you can make arrangements with that family as far as visiting or seeing pictures later on.
Don't wait to tell him any longer. Parents and families too. Good luck, and I hope everything works out for you all.
2006-10-01 03:56:06 · answer #2 · answered by hrhtheprincessofeire 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are very young, and being scared is ok, but you do have to tell the bf about the pregnancy. I hope you will think about this together, abortion isn't always a good option. You both need to talk to your parents, as well as a counselor and a dr. There are so many other options available for you to consider! It is a big decision to make and it will affect your life and your bf's as well as your families for the rest of your life. There are so many unwanted pregnancies and abortion is ending a life that could have had a chance to be normal and healthy! There are so many couples that cannot have children and are waiting in long lists for years to adopt a baby from a young mother such as yourself. I know someone who is such a good person, but cannot have a child herself. She is a carrier of Muscular Dystrophy and they have chosen to adopt. They have been waiting for nearly 3 years now and have cried tears of joy and sadness when someone else has a baby in the family. If you are completely set on abortion, that is your choice... but it would be a greater gift to let the baby live and to give the baby to someone who could love and raise the baby in their family. Give the gift of life... please consider some counseling right away ok! There are many places you can go to for help, just to talk about it would be good!
I know it will be harder to do this than to end a life and walk away, but someday it will be worthwhile and you won't have the guilt of that child's death in your mind and heart forever. Maybe you are very young right now, but this decision will help make you more responsible and you will both be more careful in the future! He is as responsible for this pregnancy as you are, don't let him ever make you feel like it is all your fault... sex involves two people who love each other...(hopefully) and both are accountable! Do the right thing and opt for adoption... you will be rewarded someday with gratitude from a child as well as the loving parents.
2006-10-01 04:15:42 · answer #3 · answered by MaggieO 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, i'll be nice but tell u the truth. u should not have had sex in the first place. birth control, condoms and things like that dispite what they tell u don't always stop u from getting pregnant. now to the boyfriend part. if he really loves u, then he will stick by u the whole time. he would not force u to have a abortion. i rather u give the baby up for an adoption. abortions are bad. i don't beleive in that. so if he breaks up with u, then get over him, because he was not worth it. u deserve better. good luck!
2006-10-01 03:51:48 · answer #4 · answered by xoMariska_fearless4lifexo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you need to tell him. He does have a right to know. Second don't put all of the blame on you. He was part of it too and if he didn't want to get you pregnant he should have taken precautions also. It isn't only up to you. their are always other options rather than abortion. There will never be a right time to tell him just do it. second there is never a right time to have kids. Yes you are young I don't know how young but there are always resources that can help you. If you don't want to pay then take precautions before you play.
2006-10-01 03:48:00 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to someone other than the people on here hon.. there are lines to call. Call them and talk through all your options with someone. Its gonna be hard enough without telling him you lied too. It is possible to fall pregnant whilst on birth control. Don't let people on here tell you not to terminate (they have a habit of going on a moral cruisade here at times) Only you can make the decision but you should talk to someone. I know its a scary place to be but it can help to talk to someone that is pro choice and is not involved personally. best wishes hon x
Chris C... Back off man! she's just a kid in trouble.
2006-10-01 04:17:16 · answer #6 · answered by punkvixen 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him about it. And if he blames you for it...smack him! cause birth control pills don't allways work and he can't blame you because in a sex relationship both sides should be careful not just you. You should definetely let him know though because you can't hide it. And then go to the doctor and while it's still early enough get an abortion if you want.
2006-10-01 03:47:02 · answer #7 · answered by Veronica K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him and get his input. He could have changed his mind about the abortion issue.
And that whole pinning birth control on just you is a typical MALE COP OUT. DO NOT LET HIM BLAME YOU FOR THIS. It takes two to tango. He is just as responsible as you are.
Give him the change to voice his opinion.
but remember, in the end - it is YOUR decision.
2006-10-01 04:08:06 · answer #8 · answered by ilovetiti 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me put it this way- if you think he has no trust in you now and is having a tough time with things... imagine when he finds out about the kid...
Tell him when the time is right... but make it within a few days. ASAP!
2006-10-01 03:46:33 · answer #9 · answered by Leigh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Something like this it is best to let him know, because one way of another he will find out.. just be prepared for the answer. I can't agree on the a bortion decision. I don't know what your age is , but obviously you and him are not ready.
2006-10-01 03:47:06 · answer #10 · answered by Mike 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
first off i wish you luck with your baby second you should tell him and if he truly loves you he will work it out with you remember it takes two. as for abortion i dont agree with that try putting the child up for adoption it really does work and hey it could make anouther couple very happy to have a child when they cant have one of there own.
2006-10-01 03:53:12 · answer #11 · answered by deshawn m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋