Do you think I am too sensitive?

Question

My live-in boyfriend jokes with me about my weight...and if I get hurt or upset he says "what I can't even joke around with you?" I have always had a weight problem...it is the one thing I wish NO ONE would joke with me about. He got online this morning and there was a picture of a girl on the home page and he said "she's pretty, she's always been pretty, I wish you looked like her." He said this jokingly....so I stabbed back and called him by my ex-husbands name, cause my ex used to do that to me. And my b/f responded by saying "what? it's not my fault you are a body double for Rosanne Barr." I'm sorry, but 1. that's NOT true...you can see pics of me at http://360.yahoo.com/shaeshae61071 I don't look like her at all...but my self image sometimes to me, makes me FEEL like that so he really hit a cord with me. He thinks I should laugh it off and not feel bad at all...but if anyone who has ever had problems losing weight, they know what I go through. Am I over sensitive?

http://360.yahoo.com/shaeshae61071

Answer 1

If you want to lose weight you can, its really about changing habits, finding exercise you actually like etc.

As far as your pics go, you look really nice. Unfortunately, I couldnt really see your body except for in one, and you look good. I don't think you have too much to worry about in that department.

Sounds like your boyfriend likes making you feel bad, maybe he fears that if you lost weight he wouldnt be able to keep you. Or maybe thats his stupid way of trying to motivate you to lose more weight. Maybe he is just bit of an ****.

Hope you are happy anyway, you look fine.

The only problem I ever have with girls' weight is if they are so self conscious that it affects their personality, sexual comfortability etc. If someone is genuinely upset about something, then I think that the responsibility rests with them to change it. If not, then it shouldnt really matter to them what anyone else says, unless they are being deliberately offensive... it seems he is doing this in a small, yet significant way, so I understand your annoyance.

Just tell your boyfriend he won't be getting any until he starts treating you with the respect, or even worship if you're really keen, that you deserve!!!!

Just take back some power, and make him earn his rewards... men are just big kids, and they will step in line to earn playtime with their favourite toys!!!!

: )

Answer 2

I did go to your page and looked at your pics, you're a pretty girl, and have beautiful eyes. He is being insensitive, he cares about you, it's evident from the pics, but needs to learn that you need him to point out the positives and to give you encouragement, not make jokes about you. Tell him you can't laugh it off, let him know that it hurts you each time it happens, and tell him that is the one thing he cannot do from now on. If he does it again, don't laugh,and don't sit silent with hurt feelings, let him know that it is off limits. He will learn that it truly bothers you.

Answer 3

I don't think that your are over sensitive or over reacting.Personally I looked at your pictures and I think that you look pretty. I don't see any problem with the way that you look. Sit down and explain to your boyfriend how he makes you feel by "joking" around about your weight. Explain to him that he upsets you and you don't think that his jokes are very funny. Explain that you have always had a problem with how you feel and how you see yourself. Or maybe you should tell him what you told all of us. By explaining to him how you really feel it should shed some light on how he jokes around or even how he looks at things.
My boyfriend does the same thing to me. He knows that after I had my daughter I want to lose weight because I feel insecure about how I see myself. He jokes about I'm not back into my old jeans and what not. And it hurts me, he says he's only joking and I need to lighten up. But to me it really hurts. I explained to him how it made me feel on a count of what I had already thought about myself. After I explained to him how I truly felt about his "jokes" he has stopped making them and now he trys to make me feel sexy and beautiful all the time by telling me that he thinks I'm sexy and what not. I try to do things to help me lose a little weight like walking around the Flea market or the mall, playing with my daughter and just being very active. It makes me feel better about myself and then my boyfriend gets involved with what I am doing and it makes me feel much better. If you want also, drink more milk and water and less soda. Personally I don't drink any soda, just tea. And if you want a good and healty meal eat at subway. The food is good and its low in calories with is a plus. I love eating there.
And if you expalin to him and he still continues to joke about it, tell him that it hurts and you could find someone who loves you the way that you are. That you don't need him and you can do better.
I hope that this has helped you and I do wish you the best of luck. But remember, its not what others think about you, its what you think about yourself and how you see yourself.

Answer 4

I don't know how exactly he feels about your weight and why he is making these jokes. No one here does.
And no one here actually knows enough about him and your relationship to give advises like 'dump him'.
It's possible that he is unhappy with your weight and would prefer a slim girlfriend but it is also possible that he likes you the way you are and wouldn't want you to be thinner. I don't know that. You will have to figure that out yourself.

Have a serious talk with him. Tell him clearly that you don't want him to joke about your weight because it really hurts you and make sure he understands that you are absolutely serious about it.

Answer 5

There is something twisted about that. I think it is great to have a sense of humor and laugh off your shortcomings, but if your bf is constantly doing something he knows hurts your feelings, then I would want to know why he wants to put you down instead of build you up.

I have recently lost 80 pounds, I was huge, but my husband never made me feel bad about it. It made me feel like he was my partner and his support ultimately led to my ability to lose the weight.

Answer 6

certain, i'm very smooth. I cry over pretty a lot some thing. For--social gathering in English classification the day previous those 2 assholes were providing and this guy only stated "What" no longer to insult them yet you recognize once you only say what. And both adult adult males were so recommend to him because of it . they are continually so recommend to him and the undesirable guy would not even do some thing to them. I were given teary eyed this morning when we were speaking about it.

Answer 7

you are not over sensitive. if you want to lose weight then try this:

drink 1 glass of water atleast once each hour and dance to this song 10 times a day:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=sT7vK44Xjig


i've been doing that for 3 days and i've lost 2.5 kg which is about 5 ibs!!

i have weight problems like you but this way will help you lose weight and if your boyfriend teases you about your weight again then tell him to just shut his big mouth!!

Answer 8

Sounds like you need to go elsewhere.I have a weight problem too and my husband has been kind enough not to ever comment on it. If he's unhappy about it..he never lets on like he is. He realizes that I'm an adult and I have sense enough to know that my weight is not ideal..and if he worries about it..it's because of a health standpoint for me and not because I'm unattractive to him and everyone else. This makes me feel better and it would you too..but someone has to genuinely care about you to do this. Someone who loves you will not joke about you at your expense.This is just my opinion.

Answer 9

You are not over sensitive. Subconsciously your boyfriend is really unhappy about your weight and it comes out in the form of joking. I can tell you that he is most likely just passing the time with you until something better comes along at which time he will really start to say nasty things that will hurt you to the core. My advice is for you to start thinking about getting away from this relationship of "Convenience". There are things you can do and places you can go to get in better shape. You must learn about nutrition in order to lose weight. With proper nutrition and a good exercise program you can achieve success. Your boyfriend is in fantasy dreamland and doesn't appreciate you for who you are.
Over the course of our marriage my wife went from petite to over 220 pounds but I supported her the whole time through all the weight loss programs and all the weight loss videos. Finally she went for laproscopic band surgery and now she has the beautiful shape to go with her beautiful mind.

Answer 10

I think that you're sensitive to those comments because you are insecure about your body image and have a low self-esteem. And of course you would with a boyfriend who talks to you that way! He is way out of line and rather, should be encouraging you - telling you that you're beautiful and pointing out the things that he loves about you. I would suggest that you see a counselor to help you feel more confident and positive about yourself, no matter what size you are! Good luck, girl! And you may want to think twice about that boyfriend of yours!