BF converted halfway to muslim, butmy parents wants more.. he couldn't take the pressure and now wants me to convert to hindu if i want to marry him.. i love him too much to leave him.. i love my parents too!
2006-09-30 22:38:28 · 19 answers · asked by SyaKiRa 2 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
i want him to come and discuss things with my parents, but he refused. i understand as my father is not an easy man to handle.. he gave me 2 choice..i convert n marry him or end the relationship.. ending the relationship will hurt both of us cos we love each other too much.. i had thoughts of leaving my house but i m too scared to do it.. i love my parents too.. how do i get my bf to agree to a discussion with my parents?? time is running out for me and him as his mother has been wanting him to get married.. we are in singapore by the way and it is definitely not easy to run away as Spore is SO SMALL!
2006-09-30 22:57:18 · update #1
my bf ask me this question " I m willing to convert for ur sake and go your way, i m willing to embrace Islam and learn its way but ur parents are not supporting me, and now I want u to follow my way and my mom is more than willing to accept u.. Can't u do it for our love sake?" I'm feeling the pain of losing my religion, and i m feeling the pain of losing my loved ones either.. wat he say to me makes sense a bit, when he was willing to do it for me, y am i unwilling now? that question caught my mind.. and tat is y i m confused now..
2006-09-30 23:36:25 · update #2
My bf has juz given up on the relationship.. :( I m extremely disturbed by it.. but i guess this is how my life should be.. after all the heartaches and sacrifices, it just ended like tat...Thanks you all for the advice given to me..
2006-10-01 02:22:00 · update #3
This is probably one of the reasons why your parents must have encouraged you NOT to marry a Hindu...just the way his parents might have objections too. Its time the two of you had a serious conversation.
Personally I just won't be comfortable converting to any other religion, it just won't happen. Neither shall I ever impose a conversion on my loved one had she belonged to some other religion. A couple has to be utterly broad-minded to practice different religions under one roof.
Discuss this with him....
- Do both of you love each other enough to sideline religious beliefs?
- Are either of you comfortable converting to some other religion (no one will be!) ??
- Do you think you'll have issues later on if not now?
- What religion will your children follow?
- Are both of you OK with each practicing his own religion?? (id go for this)
If both of you are strong enough to surpass the difficulties posed by such singular circumstances, go ahead and marry him and stick to your decisions. Your parents as well has his will have to accept it.
If anything is posing a problem or going against your will or his....DON'T DO IT! Not only will you ruin both your lives, you won't make your parents happy either and lets not even get to what your children will go through. Besides, society will sadly make the most of the opportunity to pull you down. Yes, we do have idiots in our country who aren't open to other religious beliefs and don't seem to understand that everyone has a choice, that everyone has faith just the way they do themselves.
Its not a very easy choice to make but it entirely depends on what your take is on the situation as a couple in love. I wish you all the best.
PS. I am a Hindu
2006-09-30 23:08:19 · answer #1 · answered by flash4484 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Religion for believers has a central part in their lives.
It's good to fall in love but marriage is another thing. You will both have to live together for a long time and both of you will try to raise their kids the way they were raised.
Both of you feel that their religion is better and the only true one, and will try to get the other convert.
From the food you eat to the way you dress to the way to you pray, all differs. Hindus and Muslims are two poles apart. Christianism and Judaism is closer to muslims. And in Islam you can marry a christian or a jew. But hindus are world apart from Muslims.
The choice is difficult but don't make a choice between your parents and your bf. Make a choice by what you want to believe, make a choice by what you want to share with a husband, make a choice by how you wanna raise your kids.
This is a much more intelligent choice. IF you choose between your parents and your bf, then someday, you will surely regret whatever your decision might be.
But if you are a believer, a muslim at heart, the choice is to let go and turn the page. Love is not the only thing for a believer. And a muslim girl shouldnot even love a guy before marriage.
Cool down, and think... between emotion and reason.
2006-10-01 06:40:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
ahh young love....it is intxicating causing couples to sometimes make crazy decisions...this may not be the only one you could ever love...people who date go thru many b and g'griends b4 coming to a final agreement. Though dating w/o supervision of family(thus not really dating) is an alien concept to Islam, you have done so, and found out how it turns out.
If you had involved your parents and family in your spouse selction, not forcing you to accept anyone, but just involving them, you could have avoided this whoel issue. People from Muslim or Hindu backgrounds usually need family as a BIG part of their lives, esp when raising kids.,therefore you are not just marrying a young man, but HIS WHOLE family, and he marrying your whoel family. What will this be like is either of you "converts" or half way "converts"? Do you think you will be allowed to practice your fath and raie your kids as Muslim if you wish, or will he find that is too offensive?Do you mind if your kids are going to a temple to worship idols? Would he mind your kids and you fasting Ramadan? The whole thing is a bit hard to imagine isn't it? You need to take a cold shower and look at this situation in reality, not fantasy land.Love will NOT make it alright.you need more than just love.You need love and family support. marriages fail all the time leaving kids with a terrible life of only one parent available at a time, the confusion of new spouses and living part time on one house or the other(no offense to single parents who can't help it) and the mom is usually left in poverty struggling to support her kids. Why do this to yourself and family and potential kids? I dont see it surviving after the first fewmonths-one year. Think very hard b4 you make a big mistake. If you think this is really the best decision then go 4 it ,but be preapred for the results.
HEY DONT run away it's dangerous to be alone in the owrld separated from family with someone you are not yet married to.
Be patient.Are you aware this is Ramadan?You need to make some serious dua my girl and listen to your heart telling you what u know you should do. If youare emant to be together a little time passed will mean nothing inthe end. Let it pass.If you are owrth it to him he will wait for the matter to be resolved. Dont be forced into a quick decsio that will be for the REST of your life affecting you.
2006-10-01 06:00:27 · answer #3 · answered by FoudaFaFa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why doesn't he want to discuss the situation with your parents? He should respect them.
I know it's a difficult situation you are in, but I think this is a good test to see just how seriously your boyfriend takes you and your family. If you feel strongly about being a Muslim, think twice about your decision to marry him as I don't think he's keen on being a Muslim. Or you could teach him more about Islam, make him see that it truly is a beautiful religion.
Remember, it takes more than love for a marriage to work.
Good luck!
2006-10-01 06:33:04 · answer #4 · answered by Mawarda 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the point is that you both can't have a happy life with 2 different religions. If you really believe in islam, you should accept it's orders. you know that a muslim woman shouldn't marry a man in other religion, and if you don't believe in islam then convert to hindu.
but i think if your bf really loves you, he must convert to islam 100%, and why he wants you to become a hindu?
this can be the first step for him to make you a slave.
listen to your parents, i'm sure we can not make a right decision in love. your parents are thinking by their head and i bet you wont blame yourself in future.
2006-10-01 05:53:42 · answer #5 · answered by - 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend gave you two choices - convert and marry him or end the relationship. What would married life be like with a person who, from the beginning, dictates extremes without compromise? Ask him again to speak to you parents. And what is the big rush to get married anyway?
2006-10-01 07:21:54 · answer #6 · answered by Meg L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many intercast / different religion love marriages particularly Muslim Girl and Hindu boy were failed / divorced / separated / murdered / suicide / burned by gas or kerosene … so on. As previous records shows that 98% love marriages were failed lack of understanding each others. After marriage only you know him better what he is than at this time. So do not decide or take hard decision at this movement because you are in teenage. Parents / Elders arranged marriages were successful in life. Be careful about your hard decision. Love / Boy Friend does not mean to marry. My suggestion is ask your parents about this and tell them look in to this matter. Allah knows better than us about your future. May Allah help you in this matter.
2006-10-01 06:16:43 · answer #7 · answered by True & Peace Religion 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, regarding religion, both of you need to figure out what you believe. It shouldn't be just a family tradition.
Regarding getting married, my answer is based on the culture here in the U.S. I suspect that you're in India so I don't fully understand the pressures of family religion and being in subjection to ones parents in regards to the choosing of a marriage mate. That being said, if you two are old enough to get married, he's not a criminal, and you truly love each other, then it should matter little what your parents think. They'll probably get over it eventually once you have kids.
2006-10-01 05:46:52 · answer #8 · answered by tonyend2001 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Religion has torn apart more lovers than kept them together. G-d is the almighty and no matter what religion you are there will always be problems. This is just the first. In most religions one of you will have to convert. Are you willing to give up your religion or his he? That is a big problem sometimes. also will you be able to give up your family if they don't except you and visversa? If you love each other religion will have to be settled upon before you get married.
2006-10-01 05:45:50 · answer #9 · answered by dgbrsand1 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I dont see he loves you, cause if he really does, then he would do anything to be with you. I see he does not deserve you. Find yourself a better man. Remember, this love can fade some day, and then you will regret for leaving your religion for him, thats if you do, i hope not. May Allah give you your sense back and guide you to the right path.
2006-10-01 06:18:49 · answer #10 · answered by Aby 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋