2006-09-30 20:59:27 · 9 answers · asked by sb 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
tu so far for opinions. in long distance at moment (been 8mo apart, but talk 1-2x day) he's tryg to move here.
ps. to locowherto- prepropose being I know he wants to be man & ask. we r very much in love yet I think its distance thing thats keepin him from askg now. & till he hears of job relocation-its hard get time off to fly between AR & CA for many reasons incl time off & flight costs. so I thought perhaps I 1. send a card & 2. ask him via phone tomorrow (he sort of knows its coming I think). that way he has time to think before our 1yr anniv 9Oct and can propose himself once he's here in person (which I hope we get good news soon)!
2006-09-30 21:16:16 · update #1
I understand some replies esp like one along line of fazizzle. Although we've been distance- there is more substance ther then couples I see & have been around. some of them dont work & they always around each other. In ours we have great communication, etc. can talk bout any/everything- its just his job is a pain (& thats him sayg it more than me!) as for ring- no thats not it. its more feeling being ready for next step. ie. I didnt think want children before meet him & he's one who brought it up 3 months after dating- being mother to his children under condition that financially he was secure & we r in same state (& no I dont have my biological clock ticking- I love him & if he did/not want thats fine with me too). hope this better explains situation. thnkx for comments so far. kinda hard to write up here an entire account of how I lead up to this!
2006-10-01 07:56:02 · update #2
ps yes Im going to let him do proposing, my prepropose is to lead in & really let him know Im ready & discuss few things, then see if he still feels as strongly as me well than it be nice surprise that its one of first things he'll say or ask when we see each other. hey we met via friends & didnt really see each other so physical appearance wasnt how we got to know each other it was via talking first- and he drove first time 9 hrs to meet me - stayed for 5 and drove back to go work, next weekend it was 1.5 day stay & history from there. if thats not form of love from assertive man than I dont know what is?!
2006-10-01 08:04:06 · update #3
I think it's okay to discuss it with one another and for the woman to bring it up, but I think you should let him propose. You need to make sure that he is ready as well as you, and since it's traditionally the man's role, let him do it!
Now, I know of successful couples where the woman proposed (i.e. my aunt and uncle) and they are really happy. But, they had previously discussed marriage and she had said to him, "Don't ask me, I'll ask you when I'm ready." And she did.
But, you guys have only been together a year, and have been long-distance for at least 8 months already. Spend some time living in the same state/area, let him get as excited about the idea of marriage as you are, and then if he still doesn't propose, you can ask.
But, I wouldn't suggest pre-proposing. I think, rather, you should simply have a discussion about whether he intends to marry you and you intend to marry him.
2006-10-01 03:46:29 · answer #1 · answered by ms. teacher ft 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've only been dating a year and already want a ring?
It sounds like you're jumping the gun a bit. It sounds like he's a really great guy, but the distance is killing you therefore you think that by being engaged you both will magically work out.
If you haven't seen each other in 8 months and you've not even been dating a year, how is that even a relationship? Meeting once or twice is fine, but it's not going to help you prepare for marriage. Right now all you have is a long-distance friendship.
Could you both meet half-way, say in Colorado? We're not EVEN talking about marriage at this point because in my opinion, you both don't seem ready for the commitment of marriage.
Long-distance relationships are tough, but to try to jump intro marriage from meeting each other just a few times? Wow--that really shows emotional immaturity.
Don't focus on "pre" proposing--you both should be focusing on spending more time together. It really sounds like you have been blinded by the illusion and hope of the grandeur of marriage. I have a wake-up call for you: marriage isn't easy. And without a strong base for a marriage, you're going to want to give up before you even start.
2006-10-01 03:53:50 · answer #2 · answered by FaZizzle 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I consider a wedding will also be monogamous and completely satisfied and enjoyable and passionate and pleasant. My husband and I are evidence and I realize many, many couples who're nonetheless fortunately married after 15 or 20 yrs. of marriage. Of direction until they're mendacity via their enamel! And you particularly have no idea what is going on at the back of closed doorways do you? You are not able to categorize all guys and females as all short of something. I realize females who've had a well guy and cheated on him. And you are not able to say all guys wish sort and can simplest be completely satisfied in the event that they get it. Not all guys are the equal, simply as now not all females are the equal. If you're now not going to be completely satisfied with one character for the leisure of your existence, then do not get married!! It's particularly beautiful functional! Yes, the tuition of marriage is operating for plenty of men and women. Yes, it manner until demise will we aspect leaving behind all others. Yes, it entails sexually!!!!Yes, it's fair! If you do not consider this, DON'T GET MARRIED!!! If you're already in a wedding, and you're simply bored sexually, and the character is a well loving character who's valued at combating for, then do not quit!! Don't cheat in this character! Give the wedding a combating danger. Go to counseling. Sit down and speak it out. Spice up the intercourse existence by way of speaking approximately what you wish and what's lacking. Do some thing you have got in no way performed. Go away in combination. There are such a lot of matters to do to boost the intercourse existence.Make an sincere attempt earlier than you throw the wedding away. If you're sure and discovered to transport on then provide your partner the decency of letting him realize. Let the partner preserve his dignity. Don't pass and cheat and embarrass him. End it first, then transfer on.
2016-08-29 09:49:02 · answer #3 · answered by alienello 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pre-propose...hmmm...isnt that like talking about 'commitment'? I mean, do the two of you talk about a future together? It would seem that a 'formal' proposal comes after actually discussing such a thing and youve gotten to know each other fairly well. However, that's not always the case. Telling him that you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him....isnt that a 'pre-proposal' of sorts?
That should give him a huge hint. ;)
2006-09-30 21:58:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
In essence it sounds completely acceptable, I know many women that have done it with success (i.e. leading to a propsal by their mate). However be forewarned that their might always be a little nagging voice in your head that maybe he didnt really want to marry you initially(which may not be true but the thought will arise). good luck : )
2006-09-30 21:09:21 · answer #5 · answered by S.L. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What ever you do, be sure to do it in person. Ck out the movie "Runaway Bride" Julia Roberts proposes at the end and it is so sweet.
2006-09-30 21:34:40 · answer #6 · answered by lovesaragon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes its 2006, why not
2006-09-30 21:00:20 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
what's this pre propose ? you either propose or you don't. am i not getting something here ?
2006-09-30 21:05:54 · answer #8 · answered by locowherto 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, it's tacky.
2006-10-01 03:06:38 · answer #9 · answered by bluez 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋