I just spent all night talking with a guy, laughing, dancing. Then he just took off when the bar closed like, "nice to meet you." There was no real groping or making out going on, so I don't think it was a sex thing entirely. He was even in to me enough that when I talked to another guy too long he was commenting to my friend that he guessed that I wasn't "into him". What is up with this? I totally was into him. Now I'm going home smelling like his cologne for no reason. Help me guys!
2006-09-30 20:27:34 · 20 answers · asked by babyred 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I onluy talked to an old classmate for a few minutes (maybe 4 mins). Text him, you think? I really did like him, and i know that he has no significant other.
2006-09-30 20:41:00 · update #1
Sounds like he has a fragile ego. Maybe by talking to another guy, he felt discarded. Some guys are either paranoid and/or easily hurt. Either way, he's too eager. Send him an e-mail or phone message telling him what a great time you had with him and how you would like to go on a date with him again. This should mend the fence. Another possibility is that he felt it would be classier if he didn't try to rush you. He might think your'e a Lady. You'll have to think about how to play things if this is the case. Some guys are all backwards, my brother is one of them. He treats ladies like hos and hos like ladies. Not that you're a ho, but maybe you're up for a little fun? He might think the quick goodbye would intrique you. Has it? You do have him on your mind, don't you? That's called 'stringing along'. It could mean he sees you as more than just a one-night stand. It's a mind-game that either says he wants a long-term thing or that he's a control freak and wants to mess with your head.
2006-09-30 20:34:31 · answer #1 · answered by nlc_in_cali 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What "help" are you looking for??
You did NOT spend "all night" with the guy since you go on to say that you talked to another guy "too long".
My guess is that the "too long" guy was probably your first choice. When that one didn't work out, you decided to return to the original guy and try your luck there with second choice.
BRAVO for the second choice guy seeing you for who and what you are and passing on going any further with you. If he's your second choice now, he'll continue to be. You'll always be looking to "trade up" in the future. Unfortunately, too many guys will settle for being the second choice in hopes that YOU will change. Then, they wonder why you're out screwing around and cheating.
2006-09-30 20:36:58 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First thing come to mind is fear of rejection and he's a really shy guy. Second, he may be gay.
Guys are build diffently from women. Because guys are usually perceived to be the "leader" character, rejection is often translated into "failure" by some guys. By you spending some time with the other guy, no doubt in his mind he's thinking that the chance of him going to be rejected has increased significantly, say from 0% to 100%?
May be you were playing the "I'm hard to get" game too hard. Did you smile at the other guys all the time? Did you send "I'm interested in you" body language to the other guys? Did you occasionally ignoring him? Answer: Duh...! You talked to another guy too long!!! Talking to another guy too long totally send the "I'm done with you; I'm moving on now; Stay away from me" message. His comment to your friend that he guessed that you weren't into him was a confirmation for his fear for rejection.
Next time hang close him more (like there's no other guy in the venue) to show your interest in him, and ask for his e-mail address and follow up with a friendly e-mail. No phone number, please!!! Asking for his phone number may translate into "agression" which may turn into a turnoff for some shy guys. The logic: No way she wants me more than the other guy, why should I gamble away my dignity and self esteem? 4 minutes is hell a long time of a torture for someone zooming into you, girl! : )
If he's gay then please respect it and just move on with your romantic endeavor.
PS: Aparently you manage to have his text#? If you do, then I'll say text him and tell him that it wasn't your intention to be rude to him to leave him alone with your friend(s) while you talk to this old classmates of yours (whom you ran into/he ran into?). You were caught up in a situation. See what he says and decide from there. Wish you luck!
2006-09-30 21:17:10 · answer #3 · answered by vijay888 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My bet is that he is in a committed relationship and was out with friends or out on his own on the night the two of you met. He probably really enjoyed the attention that he got from you and enjoyed your company but in the end he had someone to go home to.
2006-09-30 20:34:45 · answer #4 · answered by No More 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You answered you own question. Sounds like you were off talking to someone else long enough to give the impression that you were not all that interested in him. Believe it or not, there are 'sensative' guys out there.
2006-09-30 20:33:26 · answer #5 · answered by Justin 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can tell you this much' Don't chase him. If you do you will make him think you are a hot a-$-$ just looking to get lade. If that is not what you want then just move on. Don't let it bother you either way. Go back next time' See if he is there' If he is don't go to him' make sure he sees you' Let him come to you. This way you will know if he is interested. You know what to do afterward.
2006-09-30 20:45:54 · answer #6 · answered by Sarcastic Sid 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you offer a number? Did he? Did you offer to bl0w him? Did you make any moves on him? Cuz some guys are more into having the girl do the chasing. Try that next time.
2006-09-30 20:30:58 · answer #7 · answered by Chris R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The next time u go out with him and dance,do take a little booze and hold his bum as if u r so onto him that he will start groping ,fondling and kissing on ur neck and slowly ur lips...
Have a good sex with him and please him in whatever manner u ppl wish.Have fun.
2006-09-30 20:33:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You made him have competition. He is probably shy, and really liked you. You just looked at another guy, and he thought that you will go for the other person instead. If girls have boyfriends, that turns me off. It's not like I can go for that girl then.
2006-09-30 20:33:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No ALL guys want to seal the Fun had in one evening!
Or maybe he has someone else in the wings!
or Maybe he's Just Dumb!
Or maybe you weren't giving out the right signals?
2006-09-30 20:30:34 · answer #10 · answered by J. Charles 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋