My brother can be pretty violent with me, not often, but it does happen. Nothing too big of a deal either.. I probably deserve it, or at least provoked it. He is very strong, and has a horrible temper, but is truly a good person. Yes, it can be scary because he is around 6'1, and is very muscular and I’m about 5'4-5'5 and 97lbs. But I bring it onto myself. I should know when to get away, but I stay.
It has happened every now and then since I was little but just this last summer I visited some friends for a few weeks (I live in a different state & am going to college) and was at his house, I don’t really know why but he flipped out on me because he said I hadn’t spend enough time with him while I was there. He just threw me down the stairs, then against the door and started chocking me. Anyway it’s a long story, but what would you recommend I do when this happens? I have told my parents when I was younger, but they say it's my fault.
Oh, and I'm 19.
2006-09-30 20:26:25 · 24 answers · asked by jen 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
If talking to your parents or brother doesn't help, talk to someone outside the immediat family, like aunts, uncles or even family friends. Point is, you need to do something before you get seriously hurt.
2006-09-30 20:30:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Short and simple answer is to never go back there again. Don't put yourself in a position where he can hurt you. For him to flip out 'cause you didn't spend enough time with him sounds very possessive, he's got no right to treat you or anyone else this way.You say you told your parents when you were younger- how young? Maybe it's time to lay it on the table and tell them what happened recently- all of it. If they still wont support you, you may need to distance yourself from your family for your own good. There are plenty of wonderful people out there. Family isn't the be all and end all of everything, but your life, for you, IS!
2006-10-01 03:42:06 · answer #2 · answered by bougainvillaea 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For starters, no GOOD person does this. PERIOD! So you might think he's a good person but if he was he would NOT be violent towards you. NOw, do you live in the same place? Even if you provoked it a man is stronger than a woman. NO REAL man ever hits a woman. Ever.
I've been kicked in the groin before by a woman (long time ago and did not deserve it) and I still did not hit her. I did have to restrain her so she wouldn't hit me again but I never hit her. This is unacceptable behavior from your brother. Tell him to get help for his anger or else you're not going to ever hang out with him again.
Remember, we do NOT get to choose our siblings so if he doesn't shape up, he's going to have to ship out. So, what do ur parents say about this?
Rod
2006-10-01 03:33:34 · answer #3 · answered by thedatepro 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you can't just break the ties of family, so you are kind of stuck being with him. But even though his temper may be bad and he needs help controlling it, you should try to be helpful and see the signs that he's getting really pissed and walk away. Maybe when you two sit down and have a serious heart to heart discussion about life and childhood and things like that, you can tell him how it makes you feel and ask him if he thinks he should get help. Tell him that with the way he's treated you, even if he's not thinking marriage right now, you worry about how he's going to be with a future wife. I know I'd think about that. Or how he's going to be with any of his children.
2006-10-01 03:32:55 · answer #4 · answered by t.larae 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should tell some1 like ur grandparents or uncles about this n if they dont do any thing then u shouldnt go visit him since u live in different state .if he still keeps abusing u,u should learn self defence just incase ,not to hurt him but to to defend urself from him,i mean he could really hurt u physicaly if he hadnt already.n by choking u he could end up killing u,u wouldnt want that wouldnt u.may be if he knew that u can defend urself he wouldnt dare to touch u.u could also advise him to see an anger managment councel n u could also give him some #s.BUT ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT IT AINT UR FAULT THAT HE HAS SUCH A BAD TEMPER ,HE SHOULD LEARN HOW TO RESTRAIN HIMSELF. NO 1 DESERVES TO GET CHOKED ON NO MATTER WHAT HE DID SO STOP BLAYMING URSELF N HELD HIM RESPONSIBLE 4 WHAT HE'S DOING TO U.
2006-10-01 04:07:22 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you a masochist or something? You stay away from him. Period! What else did he do to you- I wonder.... what would I do? My brother was an angel (bless his soul)... but if I was you.... I would have forgotten myself after him throwing me down the stairs... or even way before that... Christian my butt... I would have killed him in self- defense long time ago. God gave you a body to take good care of it and to protect it... even a bishop once said that if somebody tried to kill him, he would do everything he could to protect his own life that God gave him... including killing the other person- given the situation. This is just me, though... then again I would never be in your shoes, because although I am small I have fought giants (Germans)verbally and physically to defend my other giant friends (also Germans), who couldn't defend themselves against bullies.
Since you don't have my guts- I suggest you stay away from him... and learn a martial art style.... size doesn't matter once you master karate for example.
2006-10-01 04:07:02 · answer #6 · answered by justmemimi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, anyone who truly loves you, wouldn't hurt you. Let's get that cliche out of the way first. No one deserves to be treated the way you're talking about especially if he's a man who is taller and much stronger than you. He should know better. I have two brothers, one is very close in age and we would always fight when we were younger, but he would never do anything like that to me now. No matter how I talk to him. You need to go to the police. Your brother has serious problems that has nothing to do with you. You don't hurt someone to show them your love. Please go get help more for yourself than for him. I'll pray for you. Good luck.
2006-10-01 03:35:22 · answer #7 · answered by Curly Q Diva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My brother is the same way. He is 3 years older than me. I love him and I know deep down he is a good person but he does have a violent temper and he used me as a human punching bag. As kids my parents said it was my fault for provoking him. I remember times when my parents stood there and let him hit me and didn't nothing about it. As we got older it got worse. He finally left for the army and my parents told me that he would be different when he came home. He came home for my graduation and he went out with friends and got drunk. He got very violent and took it out on me. Broke my jaw, dislocated my shoulder and messed me up pretty bad. My parents did nothing so I did something and I called the police. My brother got jail time over it and because he was in the army he had MP's come get him. My parents was very angry at me for doing it but I wasn't gonna be his punching bag anymore. You have to stand up for yourself and no one deserves to be hit at all. I am now 31 and my brother and I have a good relationship now. He has never apologized for what he did and but he has gotten help for his problems and now that he has children he is understanding what he needs to do to keep himself under control
2006-10-01 03:59:51 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
To be honest if I was you I wouldn't be alone with your brother ever at least not until he get some kind of help. It sounds like he has some kind of anger issues. Does he treat his girl friends the same way? If so he could end in alot of trouble from abuse charges or a long prison term for killing someone maybe even you. I would avoid him except for family gathering where you won't be alone with him.
2006-10-01 03:33:36 · answer #9 · answered by kittykat78 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont agree ppl telling to leave him. what i feel is he has some sort of frustration and of course a lot of anger. he thinks u as his own thats y he does this to u. he thinks, unfortunately, that u r his property and he can do anything he likes with u. may it be gud or bad. u should not get him provoked and always try to be away from such situations. u shud accept ur bro as he is afterall he is ur bro. just as if ur finger gets hurt u dont cut away and throw it instead u live with it somehow. its ur destiny. but never ever think of leaving him. u might not know the value of family. i feel he will realize this sometime and feel for u. one more thing i dont thik he only bashes u, u didnt mention about the invisible love he has for u
2006-10-01 05:29:30 · answer #10 · answered by Avinash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your brother needs anger management. Because he has always been excused he (and you too) believes his behaviour is ok. It isn't. You may have some idea by now when he is going to blow his top. Be wary and if you must visit do so in a public place, meet for coffee, and be have an excuse ready to take off at first sign of trouble. My sister is like him - I cut her off completely. Its great without her.
2006-10-01 03:43:33 · answer #11 · answered by auntynoall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋